Who Is Difficult To Understand Women Or Men

I personally think that women are harder to understand than men. The reason is... women's thoughts and feelings are more transient. Its challenging even for other women to understand women, or even oneself. Men on the other hand, may seem to keep quiet and unpredictable, but they don't usually change - the track they are on, is usually where they end up staying on unless something drastic changes them.

Like your examples, women who may have been angry, could easily be flipped, if adequate attention and affection has been administered. She might have spent the day complaining about her spouse, but the next day, she would have forgiven him... until he does something small but oddly relating to the original thing that bothered her. Then her feelings get confusing because how easy is it to explain to her spouse that he's doing the same thing all over again. He's just not going to see the correlation.

Men, might stew and yell about something that angered them, but then return to normal once the issue has been resolved. If they are annoyed, their mood is directly correlating to their actions. If his spouse does something else that irritated him, it would be separate issue. Like... if the wife did not make coffee in the morning, it would be a different issue from wife talking on the phone with her friends. These 2 unrelated issues will not combined.

 

As long as the women ticks as a 'yes' to all the boxes men want they will be 'highly' understanding. And for that a women has to make 'compromises' 'sacrifices' 'adapt n blend' to their requirements do anthing and everything that makes them happy' their family happy and end every question with a 'yes'. Then u'l have the most understanding man in ur life and u'l lead a very best life as well..... if ur ready be off 'oxygen' and ready to survive on 'carbondioxide' thats ur choice to make !

 

Recently I attended an engagement of a distant relative. The girls parents are quite affulent. The girl was average lookinf a little over weight. The boy looked like a greek god gym body n abs. I found the combination a little odd but then I reprimanded myself to stop judging and thought perhaps love just happens and beautiful relationships do exist. The engagement went pretty well. A few weeks later I was at a lounge with my girl gang and surprise-surprise this gym boy was there too. Infact he was hitting at my friend almost 10 years older to him. I did not probe initially but a week later just asked my friend casually about the gym boy' that he was recently engaged to a girl I knew. She told me he was marrying this chick coz her dad is not inly giving off a huge amount as dowry but also setting up a restaurant for him. So all these flings were temporary time-pass for him. Its seems he quoted that she will always remain too precious for him and he will be the best husband for her afterall its all about the money ! Ofcourse the extra-curricular activities will always remain a secret from her but he will ensure she never loses weight and remain his puppet for long. That night I couldnt stop laughing. Me and my friend were discussing this long. Heard there are some marriages wherein affulent girls with brothers are married by such gym boys and their sister marries the girls brother. That way family assets remain within the families and puppet strings can be pulled both ways !!!

 

That’s so tragic! It’s hard for me to find humor in the situation. I’m not sure why the bride and her father felt the need to “buy” a groom.

 

U'l be surprised Bhumi' thats exactly what the girl quoted. Its a status quo. Like a brat who asks for the most expensive toy. Its all about money and the power it gives, that even human and relationships can be brought. Our society has so fallen!

 

Unfortunately, I have heard of such stories too. ‘Buy’ groom, ‘buy’ bride. Both sides doesn’t get hurt bcoz both gets something out of it n they are happy. So no losers here.. maybe only us who are lost like “what the hell is going on?”

 

I cam quote atleast two such instances - wealthy family 3 guys' father owns a business' well known the guys are also into same business. This father married off his 3 boys to women from village, very poor families, din take dowry but the 3 women n their families are like slaves sum stand respectfully side of the son-in-law n the father with folded hands. These women are helpless. Used only to give birth to kids and deck up and b at home taking care of family needs. Those who gave birth to boys are given respect than the ones who have girls.

My cousin who hails from an average background married a girl who's father works in MSEB as Chief Engineer. Only daughter, mothers comes from affulent background, lot of money, 3 duplex apartments, one gifted to the girl - only condition he has to stay away from his parents and sibling. He gladly agreed. His dad still works to make both ends meet. But this guy is super happy. He treats his wife as queen and got a duplex apartment as gift. Its a happy family scenario atleast for him.

 

Nice explanation @ashneys . "Buy" is the wrong word. It is a voluntary transaction; neither party is forced or obligated to make the deal. In voluntary transactions between two parties, there has to be a win-win situation for the transaction to close. Both parties must feel that negotiating the transaction to completion is better than walking away.

Here comes the wrinkle. Not just for arranged marriages, but all transactions. Parties get into the negotiations because (perhaps) ≥6 out of 10 requirements had been satisfactory, and the other 4 are somewhat negotiable. And there is nothing at all that is a show-stopper, or a deal breaker; unknowns as well as unforeseeables have been recognized, and set aside as issues for the future. Thus, many of these transactions happen with acceptable, but nevertheless, incomplete information. Due diligence, to the best of the abilities of both parties may have happened before the transaction proceeded. Although "buy" is not the appropriate word, the common underlying principle of such transactions could be "Buyer Beware" (Caveat Emptor). Millions of boys and girls marry under these conditions, and muddle through their lives. Some more successfully than others.

Since @Sandyr46 keeps bringing up anecdotes, here is one that I know of...

Young desi man in the USA who had been working, and earning money, is in a predicament of his h1B visa running out soon. He wants to stay longer and continue to work, etc... So as a long shot proposition he places an ad in a matrimonial site to see if he could find a US citizen woman to marry, and adjust his visa to that of a permanent resident. This would enable him to move to a better employer, and better paying job. Fortuitously for him, he finds a girl, and she likes him too. He meets her parents who are also living in the USA. His 6-of-10 conditions have been satisfied, and she believed her 9-of-10 conditions have been satisfied as well. They take the steps towards the "happily ever after" scheme, and do so before his visa runs out. A few months into marriage, her 9/10 shrunk down to 4/10, due to new facts about him emerging, and indicating that hers had been a bum transaction. However, at this point the young-desi-man too had been feeling quite contrite and feels bummed out, and takes to drinking. Extended families on both sides begin foisting the "sunk cost effect". This is the concept where "emotions had been sunk into a transaction", and the hope of something would pan out to salvage all, would make the parties continue with the ongoing morass.

For now... that is all I know about this history.
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The sunk cost effect is the tendency for humans to continue investing in something that clearly isn’t working.
Because it is human nature to want to avoid failure, people will often continue spending time, effort or money to try and fix what isn’t working instead of cutting their losses and moving on. This tendency, which is known as the sunk cost effect, can be illustrated by the adage “throwing good money after bad.”