Where Has All The Empathy Gone??

And fathers cannot replace mothers too.

 

Sorry mothers cannot replace fathers too

 

Indian men do not have the guilt associated with not performing chores, tasks at home. Hence they are relaxed. Your husband did try to fix your issue albeit not in an ideal way. So you have some hope here.

Let him know how tabs and electronic devices affect kids at an early age. Just pass on some articles for him to read up. Give him options on how to engage the child himself. Don't do this when you are stressed out. Do it when you are relaxed as a family during weekends. My husband only knew to take the kids to a park or turn on the music, let them dance and take plenty of pictures/videos. That was enough for me.

Tell what you want from him explicitly. Don't wait for him to understand your needs without saying.

Try to cook once a day and use same for lunch as well as dinner. So evenings can be more relaxed.

Have a outside help for cleaning. It really saved my working sister's sanity in US.

Since your husband has a mind to help out you just have to channel him a bit. Some husbands are hopeless tyrants who not only do nothing but have the nerve to blame wives for everything.

 

This is a feeling that every woman has here except a few rare ones. The feeling of being isolated in the marriage. You are feeling about one kid OP, wait till you have the second one. Life was okay for me when I had my first one, everyone was eager to pitch in. For MIL, he was her property, someone she had to stake a claim on, I can't describe in words the way she used to behave. The two had my son the whole day when I was out to work, but still when I came back my son had to be in front of their eyes. To a third eye, it looked like affection, for me it was clearly intrusion. YET, I think I was somewhat less stressed then. It was irritating to get a second opinion on every matter related to my first one. To put him in school was a big task, with them claiming they were taking "good care" of him. For a baby observant and curious as him, he got labelled thanks to their "care", his speech was delayed because MIL won't speak and FIL's speech is rarely understandable, not to mention his stupid temper tantrums. They rubbed all their dirty habits on to him. YET, it is much better than having to put him in third hands who may or may not have taken good care of him. OP, just see the positive in your life, don't see the negatives, because you will lose your sanity. Please realize that with great power comes great responsibility. Hire some domestic help to take care of your other tasks. No use expecting DH to pitch in - he just won't do it. Try to work it out instead of concentrating on why he is not helping. It just won't work for you, it will only add to your depression and make you physically, mentally exhausted.

 

OP, what I was trying to convey from earlier posting is that even if he pitches in, he will try to do it his way. You may end up getting more worked out instead of being relieved. Just take someone else's help if possible, to lighten your load. And sorry if I sounded in coherent to your posting.

 

Glad to see you strong! Children till age 5-6 years, have these health issues. Give your daughter nutritious diet. As she is 1 year +, introduce dal rice ie kichdi ,vegetables and fruits to her. If you get sprouted Kanji (porridge) mix, give her small quantity and see if she likes the taste and is digestible. Also for weight increase, Maalaadu ( roasted besan ladoo) can be given.

 

I think

I think it has to be thought from their childhood. Asking them to perform activity like wash their plates after eating, Putting their clothes in laundry, Keeping their home/ room clean, Helping mom when she is sick.. By that they will atleast understand and provide helping hands for their wife and moreover parents of sons should stop feeling proud of them-self that they had created something great. They should teach them that Girls and Boys are all equal so they can adopt that Men and Women are also equal.. I know couples who share their household work and baby care at times I feel jealous seeing them and there are men who doesn't even care about their house and family. They may observe these kind of attitude from their parents.