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Where Do You Stay While Visiting India?

Discussion in 'Home Decoration & Improvement' started by anivijay, Jan 10, 2020.

  1. anivijay

    anivijay Silver IL'ite

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  2. Needtobestrong

    Needtobestrong Gold IL'ite

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    Op, sorry if u felt bad I dint mean to hurt you with my reply...
    But sometimes we have to accept that our visits may not be as much of a joy to others as it maybe to us...even I’m always careful not to inconvenience my own parents if I visit them..as they have their own problems and commitments to deal with I can’t trouble them...I always call and ask them if it’s ok for me to stay for some days with them....though I’m in India and they too are in India... coz family dynamics change after a girl gets married and leaves parents home...we have to accept it...
     
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  3. anivijay

    anivijay Silver IL'ite

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    Thanks Sandhya. No need to talk to mom. She knows everything. She knows every problem I am facing. She chose to keep quiet. She won't do anything. Sister knows everything. This is not something new. This is what happening for long time.

    When sister got married 11 years ago, my relatives advised mom to let sister live in seperate house may be in same street or locality, so that our house would be common place for all daugters, where everyone have equal right to come and stay. If sister lives nearby, they could could help each other. But its my mother who decided to have sister and her husband(mom's nephew) live there. Everyone predicted this would happen, still she went ahead.

    Its me who didn't realise my place in home all these times.

    Thanks
     
  4. anivijay

    anivijay Silver IL'ite

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    Oh, no need to feel sorry Needtobestrong. Its the truth. totally agree with you. Its my fault I didnt realise this all these years.
     
  5. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan IL Hall of Fame

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    :hello:A nice thread on visit to India detailing profound deliberation and pragmatic discussions on merits and demerits vis a vis emotion, money & economies.
    The Zen philosophy is very apt to be taken into consideration thanks to @Topaz49 .

    2. Among the Indian immigrants in Foreign lands, the longing or the interest to visit India would with passage of time wanes out and therefore any investment in India for their annual visits would only entail varieties of issues including the emotional one.

    3. Instead one should plan visiting or exploring other parts of the world. Visits of Couple of my own relatives and friends settled in countries away from India over last twenty years from annual to once in five years and with passing away of their kin, it will not be a surprise if it dwindles down to once in a decade or nil.

    4. I was away from my parents for nearly three decades they in chennai & I with family in other places including New Delhi & Bombay(mumbai).
    Initially for three years every year I was making a trip to see my parents and sister. After my wedding it is changed in a way. We visit some other salubrious hospitable place and then visit parents home first my in laws and then spouse in-laws! ( my parents).

    5.After few more years, I with family prefer to travel and explore other tourists’s Places and spots.

    6. My own cousins and close relatives - They would remain delectably vague of their probable landing date in India.

    God bless the travelogue writers.
     
    Last edited: Jan 13, 2020
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  6. Topaz49

    Topaz49 Gold IL'ite

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    As you have detailed in response to Rihana’s post, what you describe is hurtful.

    Sometimes I have heard people in India want to behave “don’t care” towards NRIs. I have also heard so many comments and even making fun of them behind their back – they think we have to treat them like royalty because they come from abroad, didn’t they grow up here just like us, they have forgotten it, they come here and think they are a big deal …. In spite of the fact our children giving up their rooms or how we try our utmost to make them happy during their visit. During our visits we take gifts not to show off, but, out of true affection towards the family.

    we want to feel happy and avoid hurting. Yet we consistently put ourselves in situations that set us up for pain. We pin our happiness to people, circumstances, and things and hold onto them for dear life. We stress about the possibility of losing them when something seems amiss. In trying to hold on to what’s familiar, we limit our ability to experience joy in the present. That’s why letting go is so important. Experience, appreciate, enjoy, and let go to welcome another experience.

    The excerpt for “Zen Life” may look like a sermon; but, it is more than that. It takes time and repeated reading to understand, absorb and to put into practice. When I first read this, I started writing down some of these and read it over and over when I felt down/sad. It will free yourself and make you a happy and fulfilled in life. As your kids grow up, it is not fair to them.
     
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  7. Topaz49

    Topaz49 Gold IL'ite

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    ILs want to help not be negative; but, be objective.
     
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  8. Needtobestrong

    Needtobestrong Gold IL'ite

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    Yes but sometimes it is so tough to be objective...lot of feelings are hurt when you have expectations from people and they dont live upto it.
     
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  9. Angela123

    Angela123 Gold IL'ite

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    This is exactly what I wish to do!! I am pretty sure DH and I will be doing this in the coming years when we visit. For now, we have been going separately because of family needs. The way @Rihana explained here is what is really needed when you are visiting India. It is more stressful than fun, so we need our rest!!
     
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  10. anivijay

    anivijay Silver IL'ite

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    this plan sounds good @Angelea123. I love the idea of neatly made beds and space for suitcases and closets. I am going to try next time.. But clearly reducing frequency is first priority for me.
     
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