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When Patience Is Tested And Respect Is Bound To Be Lost - Aplogies For The Major Rant

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by sbonigala, Oct 10, 2016.

  1. MNR

    MNR Gold IL'ite

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    Unfortunately maturity doesnt come easily, only after bitter experiences :(
     
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  2. sbonigala

    sbonigala Platinum IL'ite

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    Sometimes we don't realise we have been matured or not because the goal is to survive amidst all chaos.
     
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  3. sbonigala

    sbonigala Platinum IL'ite

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    As I said I am not great. My parents are.
    We realise the importance of relationships only after we are left with none. Being alone while we still have a family is one thing, being alone and feeling lonely inspite of having 100+ relatives is another.
    I know and respect and value every relationship I am involved in. One does not need to be great to do so, one just needs more experiences.
    Though I am sad to have lost my parents, I am grateful for the lessons I learnt and the blessings I am later showered with. If I am not thankful for what I have , there's no difference between me and my MILs thankless attitude.
    God won't be smiling at me anymore, no?:blush::blush:
     
    Last edited: Oct 26, 2016
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  4. sunshine1970

    sunshine1970 Gold IL'ite

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    I truly think you are inspirational. I, through therapy, agree 100% with what you say, ie. can't change others only your self etc. My issues is people pleasing. Even after so many years of marriage and therapy some small part of me still wants MIL to like me, and she time in time again has shown me that this won't happen. That is something wrong in me looking for that little bit of validation and love. I admire that you actually practice what you preach, you are not looking for her love, you are just trying to be coordial and a good human being. I love your posts, your awesome.
     
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  5. Minion

    Minion Gold IL'ite

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    LOL some people need a shock treatment like this to get their brain in order. She must have never expected that !!!
     
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  6. sbonigala

    sbonigala Platinum IL'ite

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    Happy new year ladies !
    India has been visited and the jet lag lingers on !
    I am back in my home in Melbourne.

    The trip was full of much expected behavior disorders and silent treatments.
    But I made it extremely clear that I did not spend 5 grand on tickets to bear with the crappy behavior problems.
    I did everything that I wanted to do, ate everything that I wanted to eat and bought what I wanted to buy.
    Cared a damn and never bothered about anyone saying/thinking/assuming anything about the change in my attitude. Basically I created a thick foggy layer around me and I was deliberately acting deaf, dumb and blind to anything I was not comfortable with.
    The idea was to avoid major arguments and have a relatively quieter atmosphere at home which was filled with kids. I'd rather shut up and finish my 3 weeks rather than falling prey to their nasty tricks and end up in an argument.

    MIL said she was super unwell and wanted me to skip my catch ups with buddies and go with her to the doctors. I told her that her son would handle her hospital visits and I cannot afford to spend time hopping around hospitals, She is his mom and more than me - he has the responsibility to take care of her, after all I cannot even make dal properly, what can i handle hospital visits. So I went out to eat biryani ;)

    Maid was given off and I was asked to do the dishes and clean the house. My reply was , "aioo mom, you know right I cant cook well, neither can I do the dishes well, nor do I know anything about cleaning the house. Remember how you handled in Melbourne ?? How can u expect me to know that stuff now ! please mom, I still dont know anything. You please get this done somehow, I am going out for shopping."

    FIL tried calling all 3 sons and DILs for a family meeting to discuss "Daughters-in-law and their changed behaviour patterns" But I smiled and said, "Sorry dad, am exhausted. Talk to your sons please, I am sleeping" and did not wait for his reply , just went and slept off.

    He tried having a meeting soon after the breakfast next morning, and I told him am not interested and he can continue with the other DILs and sons , if they are interested.

    This change in my attitude and behavior was a shocker to many, but I dont care anymore. I gave up on them and decided to be happy. Good thing is DH is happy with my present attitude and he has no issues what so ever.
     
    Last edited: Jan 10, 2017
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  7. SunPa

    SunPa Platinum IL'ite

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    Happy New year!!
    Love the new you , Your attitude is like as rocking as the yummy biryani, no more simple plain dal :smilingimp:
     
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  8. sbonigala

    sbonigala Platinum IL'ite

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    You had me at the Biryani :)
     
  9. Vennella

    Vennella Gold IL'ite

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    Ok...i am craving for biryani right now
    Good for you!
     
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  10. SGBV

    SGBV Finest Post Winner

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    I read all the lines, but what caught me first was the biryani....

    Jokes apart, loved your newly changed attitude. I am sure, everyone concerned was at shock.
    But that too shall pass. They will find a way to mock you differently. But be confident. Your new attitude is perfect.
    I too have changed to this style; thus feeling very much relieved mentally.
    It helps me personally.
     
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