When can a divorce be a solution??

Certainly there are many problems after and during a divorce and even in second marriages. Every marriage has phases of boredom, the graph goes up and down , there are romantic and less romantic phases.
People become wise and dont repeat the mistakes they made during the first marriage which makes the second one seem rosy.
They are also less vocal and learn to adjust, compromise and ignore minor hiccups.
But its for the OP to judge her situation and make her decision . Some emotional connection is a must for any marriage to survive .

 

plsss deepti dont even think about second marriage and all that stuff ....just take a vacation...go to India...spend time with your parents and inlaws and see does distance make you both grow fond of each other...

you have to try!!! you have to talk to him if you keepit in your heart n mind and he does what he does....then both of you have to be blamed for the childishness.....just voice out what you are feeling to him...you have to work on understanding what brought this aversion to marriage....this marriage and this man....or is it that you dont like to stay married at all...you dont like this concept of marriage?? or staying away from India / parents/friends/family etc....you didnt like this country? or is it that you didnt like to be at home...we have to figure out the reasons.....even if its just him and his attitude....you have to exprss it to him and see where it goes....also pls write here what is your daily routine..I want to know....write for all of us...

 

if u ask me should u go for divorce i would say NO ! divorce is not the solution to ur problems.
ur basic problem is difference in nature. seems like u had a exciting life with all the fun and attention in india but in usa u r all alone with a husband who is not so communicative.
u can try to find what common interest u both have? sometimes when u marry at younger age just after a exciting college life the routines of mundane married life can be very boring!
its good you have got a job now , u can make new friends at work and do things u like.
also this ill feeling that your husbands life revolves around his cousins is not healthy ! he lived for many years with his cousins and now just because he is married you cant expect him to stop visiting his cousins. you have to take some interest in his life rather than just expecting him to take interest in ur life . who knows u might form a good bond with some of his cousin , they cant be all bad cousins , right ?
secondly , try to get a life of ur own , dont just crave for attention from ur husband .
find a hobby, make some friends.
in arranged marriage there is always chance for mismatch in the nature of couples, but thats not a reason for divorce , look for common grounds and try to improve things rather than spoil them !

 

Hey Deepthi,

I dont think divorce would be the right decision at this point n time...Mayb u shud be checkin out all the possible solutions before comin to a conclusion...

From ur post, looks like u r givin up even before tryin..pls dont do tht...For a relationship to work u need to adjust, give space, sacrifice if required, let go off eogs n stuff...However, pls try to talk it over with ur husband straight and clear, explain to him wht u r goin thru and wht r ur needs etc, doesnt matter if he gets aggrevated or angry cause it is best to put across ur thoughts and feelings rather than expectin the other person to understn and reciprocate....

Just give it a shot, keep urself busy in other things, do things what u like to do and forget abt him for a while...See if ignorance works...

Dont worry, stay strong and positive, God is by your side.....

Good Luck and God Bless..!!!:thumbsup