When a poster turns into a troll and exchanges with him/her turn abusive?

Re: When a poster turns into a troll?

Okay its late for me. Gonna drop off now. Interesting thread. Will catch on what gets decided tomorrow.

 

Re: When a poster turns into a troll?

The idea of a group ofpeople (which may change over a period of time) discussing a person's history and colorIng other people's views is what is high school about it.

 

Re: When a poster turns into a troll?

Pranjal, the issue is not blaming you for your diabetes. The problem is this. Suppose you put up a thread about your diabetes and people suggest diet modifications. You may or may not like the idea. You say OK, I will restrict my sugar intake, but I don't want to take methi seeds. Maybe the person who suggested methi seeds could say ok, fine and keep quiet. But he/she may try to convince you of the benefits of methi. Or suggest you try kaccha karela. You then turn round and say, hey, I did not want any suggestions, I just wanted you to understand and sympathize and suggest some quick remedy if you can. After a few months you come back and start off a thread about the same problem and by then your diabetes has gotten worse. Your habits have not changed either. Someone suggests taking oral medications or insulin injections. After 30 people have made similar suggestions, you turn round and say, hey but you don't understand how painful insulin injections are. Do you have diabetes yourself? If not, how can you understand? So don't tell me to take any medications, just hear me out, sympathize and give me some remedy.

Obviously, posters who have taken time and effort to help out would get exasperated. In an ideal situation, these posters would ignore your thread when you post it the third time and move on. But they are also human. They do not like to see you in pain. So they come and say, why do you keep on complaining about the problem without trying to follow the suggestions given to you. No one can have the cake and eat it too. If you want to eat sweets, not take medications, not exercise, diabetes will be there. You cannot say I want a solution which is totally painless and easy. They have a point. They are not criticizing her for her diabetes but for her lack of will for solving the problem. Now what is important is that they say that in polite words. No need for mincing words or sugar coating. Just a careful selection of words.

Or they can just come and say "Oh you poor thing. Never mind, suit yourself and let us hope your diabetes goes away". How is that going to be useful?

 

Re: When a poster turns into a troll?

Satchi, I have a different opinion here, I may be wrong... But feel that I have the right to express my view here.

Same with diabetes problem... This is the pattern here, I dont know how many of you agree with me here!

If some one comes in and say " Hey I have diabetes, and I need help". The posters say, Ok you reduce the intake of Sugar, take methi and do exercise. This is the most common and universal advise that anyone could provide. The OP too initially try this, but as per the circumstance she understands the above suggestions are not suits her life style (may be methi dont available in certain countries, no time for gyming etc..) So, she comes back and say, "ok guys, I tried to reduce sugar intake, but couldnt follow the rest - Do you have any other tips?". Here the posters need to understand the OPs stand and respond accordingly. This is what we expect in this forum.

But what is happening here is very different from what is supposed to be happen... When the OP refused to follow the given advises, the posters get angry and start questioning as to why did you get diabetes? Why didnt you follow the right diet before? and so may useless questions.
Basically the OP is upset for having diabetes and she is here looking for advises, so when there are some unwanted questions and that too when the OP knows the posters are questioning because they are angry as she didnt follow their advice, then she will really feel offended. cant help...

But as Satchi mentioned OP can refrain from answering or say politely that she is looking for advises only, hence such questions wont be entertained. But in real, most of the OPs are in pain, and they may have issues in controling their emotions given they are already in pain with an actual problem in hand. So, they will definitely become little harsh and say " Look, how many times i have told you that I can not follow your advice, then why are you forcing me to do it"... Its normal according to me.. Hope many will accept it as per the situation.

In this case, the posters will gang up and bash at the OP by saying that your are adamant, you will have diabetes forever, etc..etc.. and some will say I feel pity on the diabetes because it is with you.

Here i differ with your opinion that we all are human, hence we wanted to stop the pain of the OP.. It looks we wanted to take revenge from the OP..

Rather than fighting, it would have been good if the posters come up with some new ideas like having ayurvedic medicines or yoga as remedy for the diabetes else let others to answer. There may be at least one person who must have gone through the similar problem and may be helpful to the OP

 

Re: When a poster turns into a troll?

Tugga, I must admit, I do find the way you put your reply hilarious. Anyway, I guess there is no point in going on and on about this. The main point is a generalized issue. Let us leave your particular threads aside. Those have been discussed threadbare. The problem rubs both ways and all of us need to work on this.

 

Re: When a poster turns into a troll?

I honestly admit, one of the OP has made me read almost all her post, it was only out of curiosity just to find if i can understand the magnitude of her problem I do have a very very patient ear ... i do work part time for an NGO which deals with women with DV, abuse n even rape as a personal counselor ... but the way the OP portrays her agony is outstanding... thread after thread ... when the thread where her problem was sympathized directly was saturated , there was another thread indirectly indicating the same issue ... now one shud understand one problem can be delt with finite number of solutions ... when the problem and solution is written on the wall i really do not understand wht more the third person can do ...
i guess ppl who genuinely want to analyse the problem from their experience wud not want to do it ... plainly becoz the OP does not want a sol but just whine n pine n crib
when the mod gets a wiff of such an OP or thread he/she shud plainly transfer it to vent forum or sympathy forum :bonk

 

'There u go! U have an opinion. U think this thread is waste of time.I may not think so ...but u certainly do. And when u do ...I think U should have a place to air it. someone who really values ur judgement may quickly glance at that and think..I barely have 5 min for IL today..let me come back to this later..go to something else I want "IL to come up with a system that channelizes the energy.That gives power to the user where he/she can spend the time."

@justanothergirl- this is the internet. You can channelize your energy on anything you choose to. You can provide solutions to people without expecting them to accept your solution. It is not a question of right or wrong...giving support to women who need it should be the main motive of IL. You seem to think that I have provided the obvious and perfect solution so why is op being a fool and not accepting it. I think at the end of the day it is op's choice. Il shud give freedom to women to express their agony n no of times...what is wrong with that? If you think it is repetitive then don't respond.

 

Hi Dears....
Abusive ways take us nowhere either of us have to exercise restraint so I think the best solution is for the wise one to put a fullstop....

 

Hmm nice example about Diabetes ....but if the solution to the diabetes had been so simple and easy or we could get simple easy quick remedies for the disease ..then there would never be complications...so many other diseases would have vashined which was caused by diabetes.

The person who is diabetic should know the side effects or will definitely know the side effects. So if we cannot control on the diet or neither willing to take methi seeds or karela ...then will definitely face the effects of it. ..no point in venting about it at a later stage ...as already we would have become a victim of its side effects. It will still not be late ..if you again work on the diet ....more damages can be prevented ..otherwise ....we will be the sufferers ...others can only sympathise ...can never take the pain from us.....

 

I agree with Parvathy. When OP posts a thread in an online forum, she must be prepared to face both the postive as well as negative comments given. Consider whichever solution is apt and politely refuse the others. Similarly when a poster replies to a thread, if he/she feels the OP needs to change something about her action, then, only a suggestion can be given. The poster should not force her to accept this is the only solution for your problem. If they feel the OP has not taken the measures to exercise their suggestion, then it is clear she is no more interested in your suggestion. Move on to someother thread where they require your presence. Finally, leave it to the OP to decide which solution she must adhere, afterall its her life. There is no point in saying ' I told you to follow these steps, but you didn't follow, see now you are suffering'.the relation here is not between a doctor and a patient. If it has been so, then again its up to the patient to decide which doctor he has to follow. Whether to follow the prescribed medicines or to seek from a specialist.

About Repetition of similar thread by the user, If you feel so then stay aloof. May be a new user, who has a much insight about the problem can present a better solution. It is not a theory, that only the active members can give better solutions. Abusive content is something which should be prohibited from both the sides and I believe IL's relationship forum stays to empower women. let this be a place where women turn around to seek little solace.