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What's wrong here

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by Katakam123, Jan 11, 2016.

  1. Katakam123

    Katakam123 Silver IL'ite

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    I always get some milk and water ready by the side of me for my son, 4 months old. My daughter,2yo always have a dinner and followed by a bottle of milk before sleeping and I will give her another milk early morning 5 -6 am, she do not take milk at night often as she tend to vomit it. When she have proper dinner she dont wake up in the middle of the night due to hunger, only in very rare occasion she might wake up.

    Usually I will feed my son every 3 hrs, change his diapers if needed and put him to sleep then do a milk for my daughter and change her diapers.

    today at 3am out of sudden my son started to cry, I guess he felt hungry a bit early, I woke up to get him his milk, he was screaming So loud woke his sister up, and she cried for milk as well.


    i was in the master bedroom with both kids, dh slept in a room opposite me as he was not feeling well and he said he do not want to get the kids sick, mil slept in another room opposite master bedroom. So now both kids crying and my son can really scream and cry when he is hungry.

    i woke up my dh to look after the kids while I do the milk for dd, it's been 5 min ++ since I called my dh, he have not shown up, both kids crying screaming, I did milk for my son, but I could not feed him as dd is crying as well, I went back again to wake up my dh but no response to me, my son was crying hard and started to even cough, I took my dd ran to downstairs got her milk ready came up and gave her milk to drink, quickly changed her diapers, then changed diapers for my son, and feed him.

    after 5min, dd finished her milk and slept, ds also finished his milk and slept.

    Drama started at 3.05am, completed screaming and crying , both asleep at 3.18am, neither my dh not mil take a peak of what's happening. I am having back pain and heel pain , but despite all had to run and get things done , felt like I'm helpless and alone.

    No point of raising his with dh, as he might say that's y u said u can take care of both kids ( I don't usually ask his mom'd help).

    Hope this also will pass .
     
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  2. indoc

    indoc Gold IL'ite

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    Yes, it will also pass.. typical men.. can't help..
    and make your daughter to sleep with her grand ma or your hubby.. that may ease some of your work load.
     
  3. SGBV

    SGBV IL Hall of Fame

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    Yet another hectic day for a mother. This too shall pass.

    Your MIL and DH were wrong, as they did not try to help you with the kids. But they might excuse themselves that DH was sick, had pills; hence slept unconditionally. So he could not hear the screaming of the kids.
    MIL is as usual too old to hear anything at sleep. No point of arguing.
    But hereafter, if DH is not sick, ensure he sleeps with you all. He wakes up and manages at least one kid or does the milk preparation.

    As a precautionary note, remember one thing. A mother of newborn can do almost everything in one hand.
    If I were you, I would have taken the little one in hand, while preparing the milk for elder one. Now gave the bottle to the big one, while feeding the little one at the same time. It is just the matter of experience and adjustment when there is limited help. No point of blaming others, or feeling bad, as it is gonna be a repeated issue for a while in your case. Take some practice.
     
    2 people like this.
  4. blessed

    blessed Platinum IL'ite

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    I second SGBV, expectations leads to disappointments, this phase will definitely pass with time, but remember we ladies are super women and can manage multiple task's with little more efforts, excuse your DH this time since he was sick, your MIL would have heard the babies screaming but didnt care since MIL's are made that way.
    Eat healthy and stay fit coz you need more energy to manage your babies. Take care
     
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  5. Katakam123

    Katakam123 Silver IL'ite

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    I did ask my dh in the morning, he said he did not realize I woke him up, could be because he took medicine n he took 2 instead of 1. I did not ask mil but she was around when I was asking dh n she asked my dh how many pils he took, she did acknowledge or comment on the screaming n crying of babies.


    Yes dh do sleep with me n kids except when he is sick he will not sleep beside kids.


    I think the problem was I did not have the milk for my dd with me n had to ran downstairs to prepare one ( both kids takes diff level of milk). Moving forward will get the milk for my dd as well.


    thanks ladies
     
  6. bruised234

    bruised234 Gold IL'ite

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    I guess it's okay. It happens sometimes. Is your husband like that all the time? Other than that, how is he? Some men don't like to pitch in, but it is fine as long as they don't show disinterest in everything. If he is totally uncommitted to anything, then it is an issue, otherwise don't bother. You yourself said he was sick, what can you do in that case? As far as MIL is concerned, in general, you should not expect much help from them. They don't have the same commitment that mothers generally have towards the DIL Somehow it is an ego issue for them.
     
  7. yellowmango

    yellowmango IL Hall of Fame

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    Husband was sick and in deep sleep. Not much one can do about that.

    Op...crying when hungry is no big deal.Just leave them in the bedroom and go and make milk next time. It will be faster and less dangerous than taking two crying kids to kitchen.I am not a big fan of working in the kitchen holding a child....that too a crying child.
    Have seen a badly burnt baby.Crying doesn't hurt...it is just annoying.
     
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  8. SGBV

    SGBV IL Hall of Fame

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    Just for clarification :
    OP, if my post sound as if I have advised you to do kitchen chores, mainly cooking or boiling with a baby in hand, then please re-think of it. I did not advice the same.

    Generally, the mothers of newborn would make everything needed for the baby ready at their room/near by room or kitchen. So the moment baby starts to cry, you can give them whatever could sooth their mood.

    The baby's pacifier, luke warm boiled water in a flask, milk powers, and cups/bottles ready (washed, sterilized and dried). Now it is a matter of mixing everything together at the right amount. It takes a few seconds, and it could be done with one hand with the baby anyway.
    So, baby won't be crying too hard and disturb others' sleep. Also, if he/she cries too much, then it would be tough to make him sleep immediately after a feed. His/her sleep might be disturbed.
    Same with older kids too.
    So, better be prepared, and take this challenge of being a mom.

    However, don't misunderstand my post. I mean, don't take the kid to the kitchen and do anything with the fire. It is dangerous for all at home.
     
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