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What's with Indian men?

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by godsgp, Dec 6, 2011.

  1. godsgp

    godsgp Silver IL'ite

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    ShipaMa!
    That's such a well written post!
    Hilarious and practical summation!
     
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  2. kuttychellam

    kuttychellam New IL'ite

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    We ladies are always think that happiness revolves only around husband. I have never come across a husband who think wife happiness alone is his happiness. But men think how to make their Girlfriend happy, what to do to correct a girl.:bonk. their minds, songs blog speak only this. Gf turned wife can see the difference.It is time to come out from our husband based happiness. :drowning when we are too inclined on a man, there is a possiblity of pain. So how to come out of this ?
     
  3. Den

    Den Bronze IL'ite

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    The answer lies only in the way the man is brought up. A man who has seen his father treat his mother with dignity and respect will most likely treat his own wife well. On the other hand, a man who has seen his father philandering and his mother quietly tolerating his father's antics will probably behave in the same way. In the 21st century, with all the various networking tools at our disposal and our hectic lifestyle, only those who have seen a successful marriage (of their parents) will be able to lead one themselves. Tough luck for the rest - From a 24 Year Old Boy

    How true and very well said. Having being married for almost 2 decades, I now believe how crucial good parenting is - one wise parent could make a world of difference. Unfortunately most indian mothers teach their children to be good sons and not good husbands. I am not saying all but I've known many who find it difficult to balance a relationship between their wife and mother and very often the mother has her way
     
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  4. fencesitter

    fencesitter Platinum IL'ite

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    all i can say there is stress on men to play and balance husband and son role!
     
  5. ProudIndian

    ProudIndian Gold IL'ite

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    Many Indian husbands are very funny. They want best package as life partner. They expect wife should be beautiful but should work like maid, very obidient to him and his family, well educated but should listen to all crap his parents order, should be earning money but should not spend as per her choice, should be good mom to kids but should not put on weight at all after child birth etc. List goes on and on...........

    My husband is fitness freak and can't tolerate if I put on single kg.........but if I want to goto gym he complains about I am not giving enough time to kids or home (basically he doesn't want me to spend money on gym). He expects me to get up early and do exercise at home, then prepare breakfast, lunch, get kids ready and then goto office on time.....I should be always fresh and pleasant to all......Although I am working full time while taking very good care of 2 little kids & home he expects more and more like entertaining lot of family friends, his parents, relatives etc

    For many Indian husbands Wife is unpaid slave who they can control anyhow......
     
  6. godsgp

    godsgp Silver IL'ite

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    SSC

    For some especially Indian men the fantasy of happily ever after comes with these pre-requisites too!!
     
  7. SallyR

    SallyR Silver IL'ite

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    I think lots of Indian men are not up-to speed with Indian women...we have changed a lot in the last few decades but some men are still being brough up like they were before. I feel that many Indian movies portray women in the same old way. Because of all these factors I think many Indian men have outdated expectations of Indian women.
     
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  8. unhappywife

    unhappywife Silver IL'ite

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    Hi All,

    Most of the houses, women are expected to cook. Its a common mind set of an indian man. However, women are far better in cooking work and keeping things clean than a man. However, there are some men who help women to a great extent like cutting veggies and stuff. Only few men are skilled cooks. But still they don't prefer to help when their parents are around.

    However, things are changing these days. It is also sad that even educated women are starting to control men. I see that with my siblings. My brother's wife counts every penny my brother spends for my mom. She in fact lays rules and restricts on the amount he has to send to parents. On the other hand, I see this in my husband's family too. My Mil controls my Fil every second. He can't even give a penny to his siblings or parents even while they are sick. My sil is also the same. Although my mil or sil is not working, they still control their husbands from talking to their parents or spending a dime for them. Its sad but I wonder how many of you'll controlling your man and restrict him from sending even the basic funds to their parents or stop him from talking to his folks..
     
  9. flowerlady

    flowerlady IL Hall of Fame

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    Most Indian men marry because its the best way to get a housekeeper, cook and physical intimacy, procreation is always on the cards. The DW must produce a boy so that their lineage (?) goes on forever.
    Respecting the wife is just for public actually they feel that the DW is way down the ladder.
    Indian DWs are to be blamed for this miserable situation as we deify , fast and see DH as God , even touch his feet , no wonder most DH have a massive superiority complex.Even the modern , educated, earning DWs do this.
    In our society the wife is supposed to be a shadow of her DH , never at par.
    If Indian DWs are conditioned to believe that DH is God then why crib for equal status?

    Indian DHs are put on the pedestal , welcomed back after EMAs (where the DW nobly takes the blame for his straying ) deified and glorified by DWs then why blame their chauvinistic mindset ?
    Needs some soul searching.
     
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