What's in renaming???

DURGA RAVI · Dec 1, 2005

We all know that it does matter a lot as far as “What’s in a name?” is considered.

Now I would like to share my opinion and experience on re-naming, yes I mean renaming, rewinding of my just married life 9 years ago.

When I just got married and entered in to my in-laws house, one of my
dominant sisters in law exploded the bomb stating that few of their distant relatives followed the practice of changing the name of the new bride after marriage and they also would like to follow the suit. She had already selected the name sorry rename to me. Explaining further she said she renamed me as "Ramya" as the name Ramya matches well with <?xml:namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-comffice:smarttags" /><st1lace>Ravi</st1lace> with pride.
"Ramya Ravi" wow, sounded perfect and sweet indeed but then sounded bitter as far as changing my name is considered. She started calling me Ramya.
My ears could hear the name but mind failed to respond. I felt most
uncomfortable to be renamed. Having used to be called with my name for the past two decades and plus till marriage, it have failed to respond to the new name.

Thanks to consideration of my husband, he enquired me whether I was comfortable with the new name. I told him I feel most comfortable if I am called with my original name and preferably with the pet name my people use to call me. It indeed made a lot of difference when my husband started calling me with the pet name I suggested and I felt very warm and close to the person whom I never met earlier just because of the pet name I was used to for years earlier. I am very much indebted to my mother in law too for her considerate nature and did not much insist on changing as I felt most discomfort. Thankfully in due course of time, my sis in law too had given in without making much of fuss.

It was not due to adamant or arrogance I refused to be renamed, but due to the respect and regards to my parents who chose my name with love and affection at my birth after discussions and debates for several months before my delivery. Mind you, I am not the only daughter but fifth child among six children and yet received the same kind of attention in naming as good as naming in case of the first child. I would not prefer to change my name even if some star gazers
suggest that it would bring pots of luck to me. I am always remained of the sweetness of love behind my name which my parents had fixed. So much for a name indeed!

For that matter, many of the people felt embarrassed when the metropolitan cities were renamed like <st1:City><st1lace>Bombay</st1lace></st1:City> has become Mumbai, <st1:City><st1lace>Calcutta</st1lace></st1:City> is now Kolkata and <st1:City><st1lace>Madras</st1lace></st1:City> has metamorphosed into Chennai. It took a longer time for the people to adjust
to listen to the new rename. Most of the older people even today refuse to call by rename and they call their favorite city with the original name they were used to for many years.
When I come across some shopping complexes or restaurant with traditional names, perhaps, it would sound better and perfect if it were renamed which sounds apt and relevant I feel. Renaming in such cases would sound better than for an individual indeed!

It reminds of the names when a cousin living abroad had told me about some mesmerizing shop names. It goes like 'Oh Fiddlesticks!" for musical instrument shop, Fringe Benefits, Hair way to Heaven" etc for Hair dressing shops. 'Open Sesame" for the automatic garage opener etc. Names pertaining to photo studies are like "Color your world" and framed memories. Instead of a traditional name for a shoe shop, it would sound sweet if it were named
"Cinderella shop" or "Walk on the cloud". The roads are named after birds or
trees it seems like Dove Street, Maple Road, Burning bush, Oak, Pine etc
which conjures up the imaginative name which are exciting and appealing. The
concept of renaming would go well in such cases I feel.

Not only names but renames too does matter a lot indeed!.

DURGA RAVI
MUSCAT

sunitha · Dec 1, 2005

I agree

Dear Durga

I agree with you

Varloo · Dec 1, 2005

What is in renaming?

Hai,
very interesting indeed. My elder brother's wife is Sundari, my brother did not like it and calls her Sandhya. My second brother's wife is Mangala, my brother calls her Padma. This rename is applicable only at home. Officially their own names are used.
My sister doesn't like her name Chembakavalli, her in-laws call her Vasantha. She too uses that name unofficially and also to people she meets newly she gives that name only. My name is Varalekshmy, in my native Trivandrum, I think I was the only one with that name. Many have made fun of me. I too used to hate my name. But with age maturity had come and now my motto is 'what is in a name'.
My husband's brother's wife is Visalam, but my people call her Padma. But my b-i-l calls her Visalam only.
My husband is Raghavan, and I renamed him Raghu, which makes it easier to call him. Now he is Raghu to many people. How is this one for gender equality?
I agree with you too, no need to rename. Name is one's identity and it not fair to lose it. People get used to very odd names also in due course of time.
varloo

Surya · Dec 1, 2005

name change??

I wonder how these people accept the name change……from the moment

we enter the world, we are named by our parents and called by that name

if they like one name, then they should seek a girl with

that name and marry her. Changing name is really unbearable. if they don’t even

accept <?xml:namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-comffice:smarttags" /><st1:City w:st="on"><st1lace w:st="on">ur</st1lace></st1:City> name, then what abt other things???

dear varloo, are those ladies u said, happy with their name change? I couldn’t even think abt that.

Regards

Surya.

Varloo · Dec 1, 2005

What is in renaming?

Dear Surya,

I do not like renaming. But my brothers felt that they may seem very odd in Kerala, where they are living. My sister is very happy with her new name. But I don't want to be called by anyother name than the present one. My husband always calls me by my son's name. I always make it a point to call the mothers of my son's classmates by their names, I don't like to address them as Nitin's mother etc. I insist that they call me by my name and not refer as my son's mother.
All the best,
varloo

Shakthi · Dec 1, 2005

Name getting renamed unintentionally!

Hello Durga,

I read your snippet. Yeah...I too feel it is hard to accept a different name after so many years, especially it is difficult to get the name given by our parents changed to something else. May be it's ok for a last name (that is taking husband's name as last name after marriage - that too at times I feel women are cursed to give less priority to their father's name after marriage!). Probably it works with the film actors and actresses to change their names and get a new identity, but not in real life.

Ok, on a lighter side, I wanted to post the below message about a name getting renamed "unintentionally", due to pronouncing difficulties. It's really fun to read and I got this forwarded by my friend as a mail.

Ladies, those who know tamil would enjoy this a lot. It's about a tamil name taking different versions in the US due to pronouncing difficulties!

En per padum paadu!!!

My full name is Kalaivani, but I call myself Kalai. This is not for scene, like how Madhavan does in Anbe Sivam (Anbarasu --> Ars). It has a looooong and pathetic history...

I started hearing different versions of my name after coming to this country, and the painful fact is all the possible permutations and combinations of vowels in my name give meaningful words in tamil!!!

When I first joined the university, my professor wrote to me...

Dear KALAvani (meaning: thief; context: kalavani paya..)
... ... ...

Sari adhuvachum typo nu free ya vittudalam...

Then after a year, I joined a company for internship.those people called me
before I joined, to inform me about some test which I had to take...

"Hello is this Ms. Kizhavaani?" (meaning: old; context: kizha bolt..etc.)
"No..this is KALAIvaani"
"Ohh..am sorry KALAvaani" (Marupadiyum...)

Then I decided.periya pera irukkiranala thane ivlo confusion?!!
So, I started calling myself 'Kalai'... but the story continued...

I joined my full-time position in another company recently.
On my first day, we had a meeting...

"Let's all welcome our new associate.Ms. Kulai" (meaning: bunch; context: kulai kulaiyai vazhaipazham kaaithadhu)

CLAP! CLAP! CLAP! CLAP! Followed by smiles.

(Dei.ennangada... ellarum serndhu comedy panreengala???)
Anniku arambichadhu...

Once my boss and I were talking about a project... after finishing the meeting...

"Ok, Kali. Nice to have you here!" (meaning: last yuga; context: kali muthi pochu.)
"That's KALAI" (Enakku idhu thevaya?!)
"Ohh kAALi?" (meaning: goddess; context: badrakaali..)
"Hee hee. Very close" (Podaannnggg...!!)

So, I stopped correcting my name after that..!

One fine morning, I was working.

"Hey kiLai (meaning: branch; context: marakiLai) .howz it going?"
"Yea good" (Sollitu thirumbitten. Nammaluku edhuku indha per thiruthura
business nu...)
"Is that how you say your name?"
(Aaahaa arambichutanya...!!!)
"Uhhh. It's KALAI"
"Kolaai?" (meaningump; context: kozhai adi sandai.)
(Venaaammm...)
"Kolai?" (meaning: murder; context: kolai panniduven..)
(Venaam!)
"kaLai?" (meaning: weed; context: kaLai pudinguradhu.)
(Valikkudhu... azhudhuduven...)

"May be I'll get your name with practice. Haha."

(Idhellam remba over da dei... Tamil la paatha rende rendu ezhuthu thaan da!!!)

Ennada, Chandramukhi la thalaivar 'durga' perai nakkaladikkira maathiri...
namma per ayiduche nu nenaikkum podhu... my friend came up with a
brilliant idea!

Adhavadhu... to compare my name with a word.so I started using this word
'kaleidoscope'; which has the same pronunciation as 'kalai'!

So, I started telling everyone. 'Kalai as in kaleidoscope'!. Ippo kooda romba ellam ozhunga solradhulla. They are saying 'kalaai' (kalaaikiradhu)...

"Hey Kalaai!!"
"Yea?"
"Just trying to say your name. Ha ha ha"
"Ohhh ..how sweet!" (thooo thEri..)
Yedho vaandhi edukkira effect la per irundhalum... my life was in peace...
until few days back...

My net connection was down, so I called up the customer service (En kiragam.
Madras call center ku pochu!)

Enakku andha vishayame theriyala. So I started in complete American accent...

"Your name ma'am?"
"Kalaai"
"What? Can you repeat ma'am?"
" Kalaai as in kaleidoscope"
"I didn't get that ma'am. Can I have your number? I can check the records"
(Sigh!... and gave the number)
"Ohh, Kalaivani, right?" (in a sarcastic tone.)
(Ada paavi makka... nee nammooora??!!! All American accents stopped.
Back to Indian accent.)

I could clearly see what he was thinking... per paatha 'urs pammingly' nu
podra category maathiri irukku... scene podradhu mattum princess Diana
range
kaa...
Anna... naan sathyama andha maathiri illeeenganna!!!
________________________________

I remember reading about an incident in a Palayamkottai college:
One smart-alecky student, wanting to provoke the soft-spoken teacher,
repeatedly mispornounced the names in history lessons.

When he was asked to not do so, the student offered an excuse: "But
the English Professor said there are no rules governing the pronuciation of proper nouns. So I can pronounce them my way!"
The teacher did not argue after that.

Next day the same histroy teacher was calling out the names to mark attendance.
"Arave moodan. Are you there?" ( arave as in complete and moodan as in
idiot!)

"Sir, my name is Aravamudhan. Please do not butcher my beautiful name!"

The teacher calmly responded, "I thought poper nouns can be pronounced
any way we like!"

There was no further problems with that boy thereafter.

vidhukumar · Dec 1, 2005

THAT WAS SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO FUNNY!!!!!!!!

Kamla · Dec 2, 2005

I just happen to stumble upon this brilliantly funny piece about Kalaivani!!! Was rolling over with laughter! Oh the tribulations of languages and their pronunciations. Thanks for the little anecdote. Hope 'Kalai' has come to terms with her name by now and happy , nevermind how they pronounce it)

DURGA RAVI · Dec 3, 2005

Many Thanks For The Response

Dear all,

many many thanks for the good response to my article. Its gladening to note that the article has triggered many readers to respond with their experiences about renaming. Anyway, the read between the lines of my article is that its unfair for MILs or FILS and SILs change the name of their daughter in law with out her consent. When an individual wants to change his/her name it can be done so in his own interest and not out of compulsion. There are many people who changes their name willingly when star gazers suggest them the change in name would bring luck or fortune to them, or when some one changes the caste they may bound to chanage their name. Well its all done with one's own consent where as in case of renaming a daughter inlaw, it is done without her consent and which is very unfair.
Anyway, thanks again for sharing your nice experiences.

by
DURGA RAVI

Varloo · Dec 3, 2005

What is in renaming?

Hai Durga Ravi,

It is a really funny one. The commends were even more funny than the incidence. I had a good laugh with my son and niece.
My name is Varalekshmy and I was called as Varam ( meaning boon, one of the lecturers used to ask to grant boons), vara ( means 'line' in Malayalam), Varaham (wild boar or the varaha avaar of Lord Vishnu). One of my friends used to call me varloo. She passed away just 17 days before my marriage day. In her memory I have taken net name 'varloo'.
varloo