Once a guy has disconnected and made up his mind to breakup or leave a marriage, it is near impossible to change it. Even if he is coaxed into coming back it is likely he will run back if he is not fully invested or convinced about his life with you. So let go. If he is bad in bed, is a miser, maligns your character & treats you so poorly why would you want to be with him ? How can you have him in your life just for the kids ? Is it humanly possible to live like a zombie for your kids' sake while you are ignored everyday ? You are having a knee jerk reaction from the suddeness of the legal notice. Also wanting to give chase is by reflex as he is trying to get away. Sure at the moment you feel sentimental and emotional.. thinking about how you could have done something better. But its not just you. Dont take the full blame. Its him too and he handled it very very poorly. You will get over this feeling in a few months after it settles. Dont despair. Dont cling to someone who doesnt want you. It will only amplify your pain many fold. You will realize the meaning of this with time. Trust us on this until then.