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What Next After A Legal Notice?

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by BerryPine, May 13, 2018.

  1. madras2018

    madras2018 Platinum IL'ite

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    Once a guy has disconnected and made up his mind to breakup or leave a marriage, it is near impossible to change it. Even if he is coaxed into coming back it is likely he will run back if he is not fully invested or convinced about his life with you.

    So let go. If he is bad in bed, is a miser, maligns your character & treats you so poorly why would you want to be with him ? How can you have him in your life just for the kids ? Is it humanly possible to live like a zombie for your kids' sake while you are ignored everyday ?

    You are having a knee jerk reaction from the suddeness of the legal notice. Also wanting to give chase is by reflex as he is trying to get away. Sure at the moment you feel sentimental and emotional.. thinking about how you could have done something better. But its not just you. Dont take the full blame. Its him too and he handled it very very poorly. You will get over this feeling in a few months after it settles. Dont despair. Dont cling to someone who doesnt want you. It will only amplify your pain many fold. You will realize the meaning of this with time. Trust us on this until then.
     
  2. Sangeeta85

    Sangeeta85 Gold IL'ite

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    I don’t know much but I think he has this evidence against u as u in your words said it and hitting him was too ..
    get a very good lawyer and get good alimony so he should think remarrying will just destroy him..

    It’s better off u being independent ,if u go back he will no way improve his language or behavior .y go through that again ...dont worry what he will do in his life ,let him go to hell just think what r u going to do now..
    I hope u will find good lawyer soon ..
     
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  3. DDream

    DDream Platinum IL'ite

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    I think you need to prepare you for the worst . So gain confidence and take control of your life. Think all possibilities, finances, alimony, child support, child custody , sharing of common properties etc. So you need to consult a lawyer and prepare a case. You should be ready to face the situation. Don't allow him to get out of this marriage easily. Give him the warning that if continue to damage your reputation , you will also do the same.

    If you husband don't want you in his life , it is not easy to go back. Both of you should be ready to work on the marriage. Once trust is gone , there will not be any love.

    An abusive marriage is a big no for you and your kids. It will damage you and your kids beyond your imagination .

    If you really want this abusive marriage,Be ready to fight. Take your kids and go to your husband's home. Legally you can stay with husband till you get divorce . If you paid EMI you have everyright to live in that house.

    But is it worth it? You are the better person to decide

    Anyway try to be independent financially and emotionally . That is a must if you decide to continue or leave this marriage.

    What's the point in living with a person who don't want you and not trust you. It is better to be alone than in a loveless and abusive marriage.
     
    Last edited: May 13, 2018
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  4. Shreema86

    Shreema86 Gold IL'ite

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    is your husband not considering the fact that he is going to be separated from his kids? I feel he has a lot more to lose than you. as catastrophic as this situation may seem , you will get through this. maybe its for the best , you weren't happy in this marriage anyways .
     
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  5. BerryPine

    BerryPine Gold IL'ite

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    Many thanks to all of you.
    I can get a job,I can raise my kids alone in a far more better way,its just a matter of running extra mile for me. Looking forward to connect with a suitable lawyer to further proceedings. However I have to stay in the same house for kids schooling, what should I expect? I'm terrified to go alone with kids.

    Should I look for a lawyer at my maternal city or anywhere for that matter? He sent the notice from other state where we live.
     
  6. BerryPine

    BerryPine Gold IL'ite

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    His parents are behind him,in order to get him re marry he has to disconnect with kids also.
     
  7. Sangeeta85

    Sangeeta85 Gold IL'ite

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    I think send the notice from your place so he has to travel up and down.. ask the lawyer do u have to travel since he sent u first or u can change and make him travel ..look for good lawyer not from maternal or any just a good one.. true don’t let him go easy ..
     
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  8. senoritaaa

    senoritaaa Bronze IL'ite

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    Hi,

    Understand your situation. The sudden arrival of the Legal notice has made you frantic and you also like anyone, you seem to be worried about your and your childrens future. Dont worry. Soon you will regain your courage to fight back. Dnt be emotionally drained. You need not worry as you have not done anyting wrong. So Be brave as your consciece is clear. It will take some time to accept the fact that you are alone in your forward journey. But your kids will give you the courage sooner or later . So first be brave.

    Incase you are going for divorce, make sure you get a good alimony for your kids expenses . That will remove half your worries. Become financially stable and lead a peaceful file .
     
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  9. BerryPine

    BerryPine Gold IL'ite

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    Thank you everyone.

    Is it possible for him to take the kids away from me?

    almost a month ago,he was planning to send kids to his native where the kids will pursue their education and his parents will take care(so that they can kick me out of the family scene and there wont be any need to pay me any maintenance) I fought against that and paid school fee myself ,to continue in the same school.He has called my daughter today and told her that he is coming to pick them. What should I do! I'm just worrying every minute. I know I have to be strong,atleast here I can show my weakness and be weak,allow me.
     
  10. ashima10

    ashima10 Platinum IL'ite

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    call police .
    he cannot take your kids without your permission .
     

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