What Is It That I Am Going Through?kindly Help Me To Come Out Of This.

OP, you are lucky that you have got a supporting & loving husband and mom. Count your blessings. I think you need more diversion or a break from this mechanical life. Try to get at least a part time job , so that you can go outside home and be part of the society in some ways. Or try some volunteering activities in your area. May be you can try giving tuition to schools kids. I don't know what exist in your area. Please explore. If not, try to get out of home every day at least for a walk. If there is a will there is a way. Idle mind is devil's workshop. May be all those issues (job plus fertility issues) are creating some tension/stress/depression in your mind. Our job is to try our best, rest is not in our hands.

Take steps to control your urge to respond this way as it will create negative impact on your married life and ttc. Stress is not good for ttc. So take it easy, relax and divert your mind. Next time when you get an urge to behave this way, take a deep breath (inhale, exhale then smile) or count numbers or chant any prayers or try to get out of the scene etc..Be conscious about this urge for a while. Also apologize to your husband for this behavior and let him know that you are feeling helpless so that he dont feel bad. Take steps, by constant effort you can change this behavior. It is not good to hurt to others for no reasons- good that you are aware of it. Negativity kills happiness . So be positive.

[Also make sure that you are healthy with no anemia or thyroid issues- those can also affect mental health. ]

 

Firstly you must feel lucky for having such a lovely and caring husband . When things aren’t going according to our wishes we behave like this and go to the extent of hurting our loved ones.
Take a short break from all these . You can goto some trip for a change.
Join some yoga or exercise classes, stay calm . Do something which soothes your mind.
If this continues it may lead to depression too. Hence don’t take too much stress. Try your best and just go with the flow .

 

I am so sorry that you feel this way. Only you can really help yourself. Looks like you are stressed and worried about a lot of things. I always say "worry if it does you any good, but if not its not worth it". So take this opportunity to look at your life from another perspective. Try keeping a feelings journal and note down your feels and thoughts before blurting it out. Things we say and do have a lot of impact on our life. Start your morning with some yoga,meditation,exercise, prayer, reading positive messages. Try distracting yourself with something else, it could be a hobby, or a friend, or reading or anything else. going round and round in circles wondering about the same things wont do you any good. Take a break, calm yourself down. Give your life a makeover and then you will see changes in yourself, your family life and everything else. The change should start with you. You determine your future. You are a strong powerful woman. Do not let things like this dictate who you are. When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. Five years from now, you are not going to think of all this. Things will change, keep faith. A vacation could also do you all some good. Take out all the negativity. I know its not easy, but you have to try something different. Wish you all happiness and success.

 

Relax.

Yes you are very stressed and it is understandable..

few things to remember...
1) You need not mention to the schools during interview that you are TTC.Also,I guess it is against the law to discriminate based on ttc or pregnancy but anyways..

2)Why don't you work with small kids and teach?like montessori?

3)Also idle at home?think again.What about cooking and cleaning?trying new dishes and divert your mind.

4)Try being positive.go for walks or light gym,take up some hobby like music and learn.whatever makes you relax.

5)Do you have good friends?why don't you try going out with them once in a while?or with family..

6)A small vacation as of now..

7)Read nice novels by joining a library.

8)Never stop praying god.go to temple everyday.Positive vibes always helps you.

Many including me were TTC for a long time so we understand your plight.However,you either try to win or lose.
winning in sense be positive and try the above.Thinking negative will make you miserable.Dont stop your thoughts but dont let it over rule you.

 

I did not even read the above answers but just typed my own.Later when I checked,I realiZed all the answers are similar.So try to practice the above..all of us mentioned vacation!

Think GOA...

 

Dear, I was also just like you and trust me it's a very bad way of living your life. This type of behavior affects your happy married life and even after you conceive, this type of behavioral prob will affect your health. After the child is born, you may blast your kid as well for no reason and that may negatively affect your child. So my suggestion is this, you should learn how to manage your emotions, by doing deep relaxation and breathing techniques ( pranayam) . Personally downing speaking pranayam helped me immensely , I can't explain in words. Please do it and save your marriage.

 

Any update from ur side ...