What is freedom?

What does freedom mean in a marriage?
Is it just the physical ability to do as we please or does it go beyond it?
Does the need to perform one's duties curtail his/her freedom?
In a marriage how does responsibility or accountability fit in, when there is a need for freedom?
In our culture, does freedom entail both the parties in a marriage the access to their personal space?

I am curious and would like to hear from both male and female members of the forum about how they would construe the concept in their relationship.

I am asking cos even after being married for quite a few years :cheers, I still don't understand :confused2: why my husband gets annoyed :rant and thinks I am taking away his freedom when I tell him he can't sit till late in the night on a weekend, watching a gory movie or browse on ebay Computer Typing planning to buy (the unnecessary:roll bigger TV, while I'd like to cuddle on the sofa with a romantic candle light flickering and would like to discuss our future plans and dreams. :bonk :idontgetit:

 

Thanks for your replies guys.

Reflection123,
Completely agree with it. Every couple has their own comfort zone that they need to have in order to have the time and space to live their own lives to be able to successfully live the US.

DivzIyer,
Indeed, its like a kite. That was really a sweet way of putting it.

Lochu,
Well said - more freedom means more responsibility.

And going by this, how many couples are willing to go with these responsibilities?
Does everyone see things as clear as you ladies do?

My own example - I chose to be a housewife. Never worked a day. I consider this freedom, that my husband has given me. He never restricts me from travelling, meeting people or choosing what to do with my time.
But when it comes to having kids or buying something expensive (though it might be practical) or something as petty as spending time with my parents when I go home, he seems to be the one pulling the strings.

As the only earning member of the family, he feels some of my ideas in life (even the most practical or shall I say, what I see as the most practical and real) curtail his freedom - as in finance, lifestyle and extra responsibilities which corresponds to more tension and stress.

Its not like I am sitting around with my feet up, demanding him to keep me surrounded by luxury. We've shifted our home about 20 times in the 8+ years we've been married and all of it was for his work. In spite of being a housewife, I have managed to make our homes in three different countries without him having to lift a finger. I have contributed to our savings too in many many ways and am expected to do more. I don't see that as a sacrifice either. Its what I do for what I am.

But what I don't understand is, how is it freedom if I am given one opportunity, while another is taken away from me?

Its like the decision making ability in a marriage goes with one's access to finance, while the emotional aspects seem to be forgotten in the name of sacrifices that we are expected to make.

Its not just me. Many women/men seem to see things one way while the real experience is different.

 

Thanks for your reply Riyagan. I agree with that. I guess when two people come together, difference of opinion is bound to happen.

 

Azalea, its his need for the baby sitting that makes me act the way I do. We are both adults and I married to be the wife. And what is wrong in expecting a night to chill and not do what he does all nights of the week?
Besides, its not just my example I am talking about here. I do see many wives being expected to play the mom.