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What gives woman her identity?

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by jskls, Jul 17, 2015.

  1. satchitananda

    satchitananda IL Hall of Fame

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    I don't know whether it is for lack of sufficient reflection on the topic or for lack of understanding of the definition of the term, but I am unable to really define the word 'identity of woman'. Whenever we 'identify' a person, we take into account everything that defines the person - whether it be her appearance, something that sets her apart from others, whether she is related in some way to a person or persons we know (in case we don't know her personally). For ex. a woman can possibly be 'identified' by that girl with the long hair, or sharp nose ..... (external features), or so and so's daughter, sister, wife, or that girl who was in my class in school who sat in such and such place, used to be in such and such group, who studied in this college .....

    This is not unique to a woman or to a man. Every individual is identified by a set of characters. Those could be positive, negative or just neutral defining factors.

    Till the day I stepped out of home, I was the girl next door, the girl down the street, the girl in our college who lives in a world of her own, so and so's daughter, so and so's sister. It was when I left home and launched into the world on my own, in a place where people only knew me, the so and so's daughter and sister dropped off. Then the rest - appearance, behaviour, achievements - everything defined me.

    Even today, my husband's friends would probably know me as his wife, my IL's friends and relatives as their dil, friends and colleagues of mine know me as who I am - then my husband, ILs, sister, parents are known through me. They know I am a German teacher - my profession and what I can bring to society by virtue of that.

    If I had just stayed at home after my education, I would have probably had a 'unique ID' with my classmates and friends, but beyond that my ID would have been inextricably linked to my family within social circles. However, just because I do something and achieve something for myself does not mean that all other identities drop off and this holds true for males too.

    So I would say, no individual - male or female - has a unique, totally independent identity. It has to be a set of identifying factors. Only a person who leads a life totally cut off from all social contacts could be identified uniquely. Then he/she would be that person who lives in the caravan and moves from place to place and turns up off and on, looks like a tramp and so on.

    P.S. Was going through FP forum just now when I found this post by @kaniths. She has very nicely put in a few words what I was trying to say throughout this post. The words 'roles' and 'identity' seem to be getting mixed up. Thanks kaniths
     
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  2. KirtiChalla

    KirtiChalla New IL'ite

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    According to me Character is something which defines one's identity. Ya, I agree that financial status matters. But ultimately its our life & we should be really happy with it so that we can define ourselves.


     
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  3. Srama

    Srama Finest Post Winner

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    Dear @jskls now like Satchi I do have to thank @Kaniths for nominating and then taking the thread further - here and there. I have never paused to think as to what makes a woman a woman. I tried avoiding it when you posted it but then like I said, here I am pitching in my two cents, thanks to @Kaniths! So coming back to it, I have never paused to think what makes a woman a woman but have blindly allowed (?), happy that someone called me a sister, a mother, a daughter, a DIL an aunt and what not - happy in the identity and never feeling a need to prove one way or the other.

    I am only writing this morning because in the spinning class, I was for the first time ever called, no no not a grandma, I was called "legs" !!! Yes. Our instructor in her enthusiasm and knowing full well that all of us are there at that unearthly hour to get work out done, referred to us in total as legs for the entire 45 mins of the class and that kind of forced me to write here. Imagine, no man no woman but the entire being was just legs! And then, I have been contemplating on this Sutra from Patanjali (forget man or woman) which says loosely translated "At other times, (the self) assumes the forms of the mental modifications" (VrittisArUpyam itratra) So dear girl, identity is all about and is based on mental modifications, that of ours and others. Hence we find it so hard to pinpoint and say this is it or pinpoint and say this is it. Either ways works. What say?
     
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  4. Viswamitra

    Viswamitra IL Hall of Fame

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    Kriti said it beautifully in simple terms that the character is the identity of a women confirming what I said in my response to this post. There is a subtle difference between what a woman think she is and what others think she is. This applies to both men and women. When a woman is identified by her look or appearance, it only describes her features and not identity. When a woman is identified by her smartness, it only describers her intelligence. Identity has to be something subtle beyond a physical appearance or intelligence. It must be the set of principles she has, what she never compromises personally, what she considers as invaluable and what remains after her physical form doesn't exist. It shows up in every role she plays and that is why her identity is closely coupled with her roles and responsibilities.

    It is the fragrance that gives uniqueness to a flower. I promise I will shut up after this post, J & K.

    Viswa
     
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  5. iyerviji

    iyerviji Finest Post Winner

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    @jskls first of all congratulations for the nominations by our good friend Kaniths. Now you have to give your opinion what conclusion you have come to after reading everyone's fb. After reading Kirti's fb like Viswa said Character is the identity I feel.
     
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  6. jayasala42

    jayasala42 IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Kaniths,
    "It could be the half baked feminist in me talking but in a micro level I want to identify myself as a feminist. I am daughter, will be a mother one day, a creative professional, a homemaker, but these donot define me because Identities are not about the labels attached to the kind of roles we might play in our life but our individual characteristics that might shape us or project as the confident, independent woman, that we are today. "

    You have given a certain definition to 'identity'.
    May be true,the character is the base of true identity.But practically speaking, truth, honesty, character, integrity etc are abstract terms. They are revealed only through the roles we enact in our life.A good principal of a college may have so many good qualities himself.These characteristics are given real shape only through the role he plays.Otherwise there will be no opportunity for others to identify him. Or he cannot assess his own qualities through any thing else,other than his own actions like teaching, guiding and administration.
    We can define any absract thing through a concrete example only for every one to understand.

    I think that roles one play definitely matters a lot since it is the assessment tool to have one'own identity or for being identified by others also.

    Jayasala 42
     
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  7. kaniths

    kaniths IL Hall of Fame

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    Thank you everyone for chipping in with viewpoints from new angles, providing some clarity. Am convinced considerably & wouldn't deny that it helped revive my perceptive too. :)

    Dear @jskls.. Wake up from your slumber! There is something happening in your thread, Check out the sensation! (No not me but the feedbacks!! :mrgreen: ) :p
     
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  8. kaniths

    kaniths IL Hall of Fame

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    On a lighter note..... What is the identity of Jayalalitha....? #justCurious :p :hide:
     
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  9. jskls

    jskls IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear all @scorpio707 , @rk12, @keerthigasuresh , @satchitananda , @KirtiChalla , @Srama , @viswamitra sir, @jayasala42 mam , @kaniths , @iyerviji ma

    Thank you so much all for taking time to answer my questions and definitely this helps clear so many doubts.

    Identity not to be confused with Ego. One's Character forms the true identity with the help of roles we play and financial independence we exhibit.

    I am still learning and have a long way to go to stay by my principles unaffected by the external attributes that could have impact on roles (with character) I play. I still make mistakes but will consider all your points as the learning process goes on.

    Finally, last but not least this is what I felt . Please forgive me as I could express only in the native language
    http://www.indusladies.com/forums/regional-poetry/275789-2949-2975-3016-2991-3006-a.html#post3600398

    If time permits will try to translate.

    What is Dr.Kalam's identity ? He is the greatest noble soul of our times. It's through the roles he played, the character he exhibited through those roles, wonderful role model as he set an example to future young generation and so much more .... Similarly what's Indira Gandhi's identity? Her role as a political leader comes to mind before the role of her mother.

    @kaniths, a special thank you for bumping this thread because of which we got valuable inputs from our wonderful ILites here. :)
     
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  10. iyerviji

    iyerviji Finest Post Winner

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    So my identity in IL is Vijima na :) such a silly question from a silly person na, though old not matured:)
     
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