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What Father's Day? And Is It Even Required?

Discussion in 'Parents & Siblings' started by Anusha2917, Jun 16, 2019.

  1. Anusha2917

    Anusha2917 Finest Post Winner

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    So today I felt like writing this.
    When I was a kid I don't remember this Father's Day thing. Mother's Day to some extent I remember celebrating by buying some chocolate or greeting for mommy . But Father's Day - from when did people start celebrating this day ?

    So many status updates in whatsapp sharing pics of dads . Luckily I don't use facebook. I'm sure there also lot of people would flood with messages and pics. Seeing that in the morning I sent a message to dad (no pic attached) saying happy Father's Day Appa. Just a formality because as I was going out with him I realised he will indirectly remind me about it. He would have seen those 1000 posts in his facebook and whatsapp and feel oh my daughters did not wish me .

    As the day progressed my nephew who was watching match in his apartment clubhouse came home running and secretly asked me "please give me 50 rupees ". He's just turned 10 and we had gathered at my sister's place for his birthday celebration and I wasn't sure if I could give him money because my sister always adviced me not to encourage giving money to him. I asked him why he needs money, he was blushing showing his bunny teeth.
    Anyway assumed that since India Pakistan match is going on ,they had a lot of food stall in the clubhouse and he wants it for the snacks. I gave anyway but kept my sister informed that Sid took money from me for snacks. She said ayyo next time don't give him because I get worried that someone(other kids) may have told him to get money. I pacified her and said its for snacks only na . It's fine.

    After sometime he came back with a packet of Kit Kat and some chocolate biscuit for his dad for "Father's day ". He was blushing again and wished his dad, handed over his gift and ran away.
    By now my sister was red she was telling what is this he never gave gift for mother's day but gifting his dad. Then there was a friendly argument between my sister and brother-in-law.

    Lo. Such a cute gesture from the kid and I'm sure his dad's heart would have melted and filled with gratitude.

    As we were returning home in the train my mom said appa was telling you and sister didn't give him any gift for Father's Day . I was like :facepalm::facepalm: who introduced all this Father's Day mother's day. Aren't we supposed to grateful for parents each and everyday. ?

    Anyway I got down from the train, ran towards a shop and brought him a chocolate bar and said appa take your gift and don't tell I didn't put whatsapp status update .
    He said I was just kidding. When you are taking care of me that's the greatest gift I can ask for .

    What else is needed for a daughter other than hearing these words from dad.

    Also a heart touching essay by my mama(mom's bro ) reminiscing the times about his dad who left this earth in his late 40s (my grand dad) brought tears to me and mum while we were sitting in the metro to return home .

    In fact mom was crying uncontrollably ,so much so that my husband was asking what happened to her.? Why is she crying and why is your eyes wet?

    Day ended with a conversation with my husband :
    Me : Did you wish your dad for Father's Day?
    He : ehh. . No better job?! I am with him taking care of him everyday and should I really do this formality of wishing him ? He sure would be uncomfortable with my wishes.

    Hmmm..
    Something to think about.
    Sitting in Amreeka putting parents in old age homes and putting a status saying how much one misses his dad is not a great honor we can give to our parents. (one status which I saw made me think this. - no offence to be considered by others who have their parents in retirement homes/old age homes)

    Anyways a happy Father's Day to all Appas here. :blush:
     
    Last edited: Jun 16, 2019
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  2. SinghManisha

    SinghManisha Platinum IL'ite

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    The current generation needs reminders like Father’s and Mother’s Day , to know that their parents exist. We did fine without these days, their birthdays were a sort of a celebration of their existence. We also did not have Facebook or WhatsApp growing up. So there was no need to declare to the world that we love our parents. Our love for our parents happened in the most natural, organic, understated way.
     
  3. nakshatra1

    nakshatra1 Platinum IL'ite

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    @Anusha2917 So true, Agree with u to a large extent .. saw many who are not taking responsibility of parents in any way but very prompt to follow all online trends like these occasions . Actions should always count louder than words.
    Ofcourse like you said we should not be outright judgmental about old age home situation as we dont know each family's specific situation but in general I feel most people should take care of their parents in a decent way whatever they can afford in terms of time and resources .That is more important than these superficial things. Unfortunately that is not happening and more people have more excuses .
     
    Last edited: Jun 16, 2019
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  4. magicwand007

    magicwand007 Bronze IL'ite

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    I really don’t know why people have so much problem with other people celebrating and believing in something.Its very simple -if you don’t want to celebrate, then don’t.why do you care if others do?
    It’s like this ...if you celebrate your birthday then one can say what is so special about this day ??you should celebrate being alive every day.so you can say that for every single thing.

    Live and let live.
    And you really cannot pass a comment and then say no offence.Do understand that people move abroad for different reasons and just because someone is not in India does not mean they do not miss their parents or love them less.So please stop with your moral policing and let others live their life.
     
  5. Srama

    Srama IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear @Anusha2917 ,

    This is a question as old as the celebration itself. I quite enjoyed reading your writing. Your nephew is so sweet and in my personal view, if there is a reason to celebrate why not? I kind of enjoy reading various heart warming stories. I also know many many people who couldn't care less about these days. Interestingly Father's day seems a very age old tradition and what we celebrate today seems what is followed in America (a later tradition). Here is the link Father's Day - Wikipedia I quite enjoyed reading it myself.

    Personally, I only wish you had excluded your opinion here
    but then it is your thread and your wish. As you well know, these situations are very personal and relative.

    Narration was very interesting! It is only natural that tradition and other exchanges happen with the world getting smaller and if happy occasions/traditions are making roads, why not?
     
    Last edited: Jun 17, 2019
  6. SpringB

    SpringB Gold IL'ite

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    Anusha
    Liked your simple narration. Your nephew’s act of appreciation is kind and cute. Isn’t it nice to see the bond between father - child without mother having to emphasize it ? Earlier dads weren’t much involved in kids’ life unlike these days. Why not appreciate dad’s contribution in growth of the child? Just like a day of appreciation for farmers which we celebrate as Harvest festival in all traditions let Fathers day or any other day that calls in for celebration or bonding be celebrated however one wishes. If they are not lucky to celebrate with dad / mom it’s unfortunate. If there’s a celebration and one can celebrate it why not join the celebration and make someone happy.

    Sitting in Amreeka, I have seen many people bring their parents here and sponsor GCs when need arises or go back and forth multiple times in an year in rotation to take care of their parents so that they are not left alone or in any home.

    In animal kingdom I love Penguin dads that take care of the babies. There are seahorse dads that carry the babies and give birth. Happy Fathers day to them too.
     
  7. Anusha2917

    Anusha2917 Finest Post Winner

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    Thank you Manisha for your reply. Yes. You are very true. Couldn't agree more on what you have mentioned.. :blush:
     
  8. Anusha2917

    Anusha2917 Finest Post Winner

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    Thank you Nakshatra for the reply.
    Exactly I don't judge people who have put their parents in old age homes.
    In fact me and my husband have decided that we both are going and staying in one when we get old. But the problem is for our parents (few) it's difficult to understand this concept and they kind of struggle to come to terms to go and stay there. They feel abandoned where as they are not.
    Again purely based on seeing few cases in the family. It varies largely in each family.
     
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  9. Anusha2917

    Anusha2917 Finest Post Winner

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    Thank you for your reply.
    I understand what you are trying to tell. I have only mentioned the sequence of events on this day and my thoughts about the same .My thoughts just varying from yours .
    We can have different opinions and that is absolutely fine.
    And moral policing : sorry not a term to be used here . Even though I have used it many times earlier when you mentioned it here I was wondering how does it fit here and went back to check the meaning.

    *Wikipedia meaning *

    Moral police is a blanket term used to describe vigilante groups which act to enforce a code of morality in India. ... The target of moral policing is any activity that vigilante groups, the government or police deem to be "immoral" and/or "against Indian culture".

    Expressing opinion(which may largely vary with other opinions ) is not moral policing. :)
     
    Last edited: Jun 17, 2019
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  10. Anusha2917

    Anusha2917 Finest Post Winner

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    Thank you Srama for the reply. :)
    This narration is just based on the sequence of events which happened and my thoughts on the same.
    It's interesting to know the reason behind the celebrations and thanks for sharing the link. I hadn't made an attempt to check about Father's Day wiki. It's interesting to see the reason behind celebrations...
    And regarding the point you have mentioned yes I was kind of very hesitant to post that and it was edited later to include that opinion. Reason : I have written my mind, everything happened on this day I have mentioned and what thought crossed my mind. That thought also crossed my mind - so didn't want to hide it. It's just an honest observation and how my thought process worked at that point of time seeing what I have written. :)
     
    Last edited: Jun 17, 2019
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