What Are Seemantham & Valaikaapu In Tambrahm Family As Seer/customs For Their Daughter From Parents?

KrithiKarthi · Mar 1, 2017

Actually I am pregnant now and my in law is planning to do valaikaapu / seemandham for me as a part of Tamil Brahmin Custom. I would like to know what are the customs, procedures and seer that has to be done from my parents end to me and my husband and his family. As everytime there was a clash because of the difference of opinions from both the families. I would like to have a peaceful one this time. It would be great if someone could help me with this.

guesshoo · Mar 1, 2017

Each family has different customs and expectations. Seemandam is done by the husband's family. Get your ILs to explain what their practices are. That's the best way to go about it.

joylokhi · Mar 2, 2017

Normally, seemantham is done by the Boys family i.e they will arrange for the priest for the function and arrangements for food etc. It is done either at home if the crowd expected is less or in a hall as required. Valaikappu is to be arranged by the girl's parents. A pattu sari (nine yards )is usually bought for the seemantham function and another saree (6 yds)- some buy it in black , for the valaikappu function by the girls parents, along with a set of thin bangles - this would be both in Gold and silver in pairs (thangam/ velli kaapu). Other seer like sweets etc depends on each family, so you can find out what is to be got from your inlaws. This also is given by the girl's parents. Thambulam items alongwith glass bangles etc is also brought by the girls family to be given to all the ladies invited.

blackbeauty84 · Mar 10, 2017

Depends on the family customs. But broadly girl's family has to do the valaikaapu function they can choose to do it separately or on the same day of seemantham. Thanga/velli kaapu for the girl, bangles, saree for valikaapu, glass bangles along with thamboolam and return gifts if one chosses to do.
For seemantham flowers/garland, what ever is used for the homam are usually borne by the girls side. For seemantham a nine yard saree for girl and dhothi as well. Also some of the girls family do gift gold.
From your in-laws side they are supposed to get saree/dhothi for your parents. Expense of shasthrigal, hall, food, thamboolam has to be borne by your in laws.

Happy pregnancy and hope you have a smooth function.

krvchitra · Mar 10, 2017

Hi kirthikarthi congratulations
Usually both seemantham and valaikappu are done on the same day
Valaikappu is done early in the morning before seemantham function with Homam
For valaikappu girls parents get nice sari of girls choice and thangam and velli kappu valayal with hooks which we get readymade in g r t and get glass bangles of odd and even nos for the girl and sweets and savouries of five types totally with varupayaru
And of course fruits these are for valaikappu