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Weird Feeling....

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by saibulbul, Oct 18, 2019.

  1. Roar

    Roar Gold IL'ite

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    This.

    My husband hates some people in their extended family... he dosn't even know their full names. All he knows that they were bad to his mom... and guess who told all this when he was 5... yup. He dosnt even know what they actually did. Lost almost all uncles and aunts like this by the time he was 15.

    His parents made sure he had no good moments or feelings for anyone except them. Way to go parenting < slow claps>

    While I had a very good set of huge cousins. When I grew up I realised that my uncles and aunts were not perfect either but thats ok. I have nice memories and I am ok with what they are or what they are not.
    My husband gets GREEN when my extended family always treats me well and I have fun. He says ' they are only pretending remember'.. Riiight,I actually dont care if or else they are, I am happy:banana:

    Just read that you did not mean to, its ok sometimes we feel alone isnt it... to answer your question, I am waiting for my kids to be considered , there comes no question of me getting included, not that I am desperate for it thou.
     
    Last edited: Oct 20, 2019
    SinghManisha likes this.
  2. Angela123

    Angela123 Silver IL'ite

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    Its not about the drama. Wont you share or at least prasad with an outsider when they are present ? Kids are very smart, they grow up hearing and learning what elders do. I think what OP felt was hurt and she shared. I would've said the same thing. I cry very easily. So if this was happened to me, I would feel sad and my kid would definitely ask me what happened and i will tell her the truth.
     
  3. SinghManisha

    SinghManisha Platinum IL'ite

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    No I won’t. Conflicts between adults should remain between adults. Please see @Roar ’s response above and how it impacted relationships for her husband. Precisely why I would not subject my kids to any adult conflicts. We are not all perfect . I want my kids to use their judgment on how people are but start off on a positive note with everyone.

     
    startinganew, Roar and hermitcrab like this.
  4. Angela123

    Angela123 Silver IL'ite

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    This is just my opinion. I do not want to generalize. I do not live with in laws or when I did we didn't have any problem (touch wood). With my limited experience, i explained what I would do. To each her own.
     
  5. Roar

    Roar Gold IL'ite

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    Its sensitive issue. Sorry I am not arguing I am just stating. Nothing personal. No offence intented at all :)

    There is an age for everything esp the negativity. You cant protect your kid from everything but when we can avoid, we should.

    Apparently, the messages coming from a primary bonder are VERY imp to kids, esp actions. Although we might only see it as sharing, it works differently in their brains. They become insecurities.
    Why do you think so many kids in India are striving their lives off to impress parents? Where is the soul and where is the happiness?... buried under the primary urge to seek a tick.

    Seeing abuse or taking abuse is the highest level but sponging opinions comes next. When they are ready to have opinions they will anyway...no need to pre load ( what we do unknowingly).
    I heard this from a child psychology class ( a random subject I took to fill credits that actually educated me!) and I see a living example ( my DH). I thought this gyan needed to be baatified so...:wink1:
     
    Last edited: Oct 22, 2019
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