We R2I and again R2A...

Discussion in 'Return to India' started by meena2, Oct 13, 2011.

  1. Nitha J

    Nitha J IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Meenu..
    Please stay strong. There is nothing to feel guilty or bad about what happened. You had all the best intentions and plans; it didn't work out because other unforeseen reasons.

    I think you have a lot to be proud of. You didn't compromise (on Dh's job) and decide to stay back just because you did R2I . It takes a lot of courage and patience to revisit our decisions and correct them.

    It doesn't matter if a few of your friends are not true enough ; you have kids who supported you through this transition; and a wonderful husband who know what he/family wants and took measures to take the second chance. I am sure he must have hard time weighing the pros and cons before deciding to move back.

    Stay happy; and spread happiness. Your kids and your DH needs your support and courage more than ever before to sail through this transition.

    Best wishes
    Nitha
     
  2. Subhaganesh

    Subhaganesh Gold IL'ite

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    i can understand.. but be positive..try to come out of it and makes the things around u positive... u need to be supportive for ur kids and husband...please be positive
     
  3. smitarubinsson

    smitarubinsson Gold IL'ite

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    Be postive, it is hard when we find our situation is not as green as we imagined it.
    Take in a positive way, new house, new plans, new friends, new sites to see etc.
    It is expensive to have to completely alter your plans, but my moto is Man proposes God disposes, he has made better palns for you than even you know.
     
  4. shree

    shree Silver IL'ite

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    hi,

    everything happens for some good. find new friends, new hobbies, things that u missed in US when u were in India concentrate on them. spend more time with your kids. engage your self in some activity leave the rest to god. u will get better soon.
     
  5. alaivani

    alaivani Senior IL'ite

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    I can't imagine what you are facing. I have had a few Indian friends in the same boat as you.

    It is not easy, as I can imagine. I agree with some of the other ladies here that under the circumstances you had taken the best course of action. The best course is not always the easiest or sometimes the desired. What we want is not always what we need.

    The good in all this is you are citizens so it's easy to move back and forth and find jobs. That takes courage and you really know how to use your resources. Right now it's gonna be hard and you'll probably have a lot of culture shock, maybe even resentment.

    What was it about your hubby's job that forced you to come back? Had he worked and found the work environment intolerable or he had not at all found a job and was unemployed the whole time? I have met many Indians who find the work climate hard/impossible to adjust to when coming back to India. If this is the case with your hubby I am sure he's facing some internal struggles of his own. It's not easy to come to terms with the fact of being 'home' and then not 'fitting in' where one felt comfortable before. I can empathize with that.

    Also, remember back to when you came to US the first time, how did you get on your feet? Now a big difference may be the fact you have citizenship. Depending on where you live and the day care situation you could try for a job without worrying about visa issues. I have helped others decide on their career paths (along with other things that needed to be sorted out.)

    I understand wanting to buy things- there's a lack of desire cause all the things once accumulated are now for naught. Maybe it's a good thing. Buy only requirements, and don't worry about the rest. It's a simple and nice way to live. :) We all face difficult times in life and more so with this kind of situation it can feel like we are losing a part of ourselves or there is a lack of purpose because things seems like floating on a leaf... things once so well planned fall apart. It's not easy to bounce back. But you can do it! You have done it before and you will thrive!! All the very best.

    Jennifer Kumar
     
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  6. spuppala

    spuppala Gold IL'ite

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    Try to accept the reality and move on..Everything happens for a cause and so as your return..Destiny has something written good for you and it wants you to enjoy life there in States..I know it is not wanted by you now..but time answers all your questions..Your husband's career is important for now ..please try to be normal and make your family feel good for where they are..Else your moods may play with your children which may show adverse effect on their growing and also be supportive to your H.A day will come where your dreams will come true..

    I know you are feeling very homesick..but imagine about those people who are trying hard to settle and manage in US..You are very lucky to have what most of the world's population is carving for..So enjoy the status and create a lively atmosphere for your family..Hope you would settle down soon..

    All the best for the re-transition!
     
  7. mayuri70

    mayuri70 New IL'ite

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    Hello Ladies,
    I'm in the process of R2A after a short R2I (4 yrs). R2I was mainly due to missing family. Once here, time flew with rebuilding life here, adjustments (especially for the kids) and spending time with family. Downside was, hubby was always travelling and couldn't find a job in India. So now we're moving back in summer. Hubby is already there settling in his new job.
    What do u suggest would be better...ship everything fro here or start from scratch? I think, I'll be in same mood as Meena if i have to start from scratch as I had just about finished settling down in our house, after renting for 'bout a yr n half.
    I'll have to ship stuff by May 1st wk so have to take a decision soon.

    thanks in advance.

    Mayuri
     

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