1. How to Build Positivity in Married Life? : Click Here
    Dismiss Notice
  2. If someone taught you via skype, what would you want to learn? Tell us here!
    Dismiss Notice

Washing His Feet

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by Sangeeta85, Aug 5, 2019.

  1. Sangeeta85

    Sangeeta85 Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    578
    Likes Received:
    366
    Trophy Points:
    138
    Gender:
    Female
    hello ,
    My husband uses the bathroom in the house but refuses to wash his feet when ever I tell him he gets mad n will argue on it n says he needs to shower .he will say like it’s not dirty and the bathroom over here are dry so feet don’t get wet so why get it wet .. I know bathroom in USA are dry but my issue is .
    I have kept my gods in a room and he has his desk as well when he has work after coming home from office . So here I feel he needs to be clean ..
    Do u guys face this problem or what do u do ??.
     
    Loading...

  2. Positivity02

    Positivity02 Silver IL'ite

    Messages:
    39
    Likes Received:
    125
    Trophy Points:
    83
    Gender:
    Female
    Hi,
    I live in US too. As you said, here bathrooms are dry and even I only wash my hands and don't wash feet every time I use washroom.
    However, when I go out somewhere and come home, i wash my feet too when I refresh myself just as a matter of my own hygiene.
    In india, while using washroom usually feet also gets wet as they are wet washrooms and it's hygienic to wash feet. But here practically, you have to get in tub everytime to wash feet and in my opinion it's unnecessary.
    In your case you seem to have spiritual sentiments, you can maybe change the location of Pooja area or his desk!
    In my opinion, there is nothing unhygienic so it's not worth annoying him.
     
  3. Janakinarne

    Janakinarne Silver IL'ite

    Messages:
    248
    Likes Received:
    124
    Trophy Points:
    93
    Gender:
    Female
    If poytry to arrange a curtain or something between his desk and Pooja area,do that he won't enter the premises... ofcource it's necessary to cln the feet once we use restroom when going into Pooja room,u don't have any other option better not to argue with him,try to provide some curtain between the area,so both of u Wil be happy..
     
    Sangeeta85 likes this.
  4. SunPa

    SunPa Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    782
    Likes Received:
    1,771
    Trophy Points:
    263
    Gender:
    Female
    It is a personal choice.
    Quite frankly, I feel his feel are as clean as they were before he went to the wash room since it is dry bathroom. So if you have no objection to him coming in the room before why do you have it after he used the wash room?

    For me I rationalise it this way - in the olden days , people went outside the house to use the toilet, hence the rule you wash your legs before coming into the house. Now with toilets inside the house, if you have used the toilet responsibly, there is no need to wash feet after every use. That's just me.

    But there is no wrong way, if washing your feet is a sentimental thing to you , then you have to convince your DH, or move the prayer and pooja to another area
     
  5. IniyaaSri

    IniyaaSri IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    3,633
    Likes Received:
    5,150
    Trophy Points:
    415
    Gender:
    Female
    I think this happens in many houses!
    I had the same issue like you! since am an NRI, and the bathroom here is dry as well, my husband does the same. Argues with me!
    Only solution I can suggest you is its better to move the pooja room somewhere to avoid this disturbance of thoughts,
    Or the best thing I would say is Keeping these pooja/God sentiments just for us! We cant force someone else to have same values or thoughts like us. Its just them being themselves! Others(even spouse or any other family member) cant think or need not think the same way like we do. In order to save your mental peace, you have to restrict your beliefs & values to yourself. Else we wont be at peace. That would be my 'suggestion'.
    If possible try to make him understand in a calm manner, if that elevates any fights or arguments its better to choose any of the above options!
    Hope you give a thought about this and sort things soon!
     
    Sangeeta85 likes this.
  6. Sangeeta85

    Sangeeta85 Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    578
    Likes Received:
    366
    Trophy Points:
    138
    Gender:
    Female
    as All said I should not think of it a lot...
    I will try and tell him calmly if it does not work I will just let go ..

    Thank you all
     
    IniyaaSri likes this.
  7. shravs3

    shravs3 IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    2,250
    Likes Received:
    4,306
    Trophy Points:
    300
    Gender:
    Female
    I think it’s a personal choice.
    One cannot simply force opinions on others when they don’t believe things.
    Best option is to shift puja room to other place.

    Even I don’t wash my legs every time I use restroom in US since we have a tub.
    But when I return from outside I do wash
    IMO it’s difficult to go and wash everytime in a tub and also our puja room is separate.
     
    Last edited: Aug 6, 2019
  8. Sangeeta85

    Sangeeta85 Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    578
    Likes Received:
    366
    Trophy Points:
    138
    Gender:
    Female
    Yes but the thing is I don’t want to change the pooja room or his desk it’s all in good position so..
    but I will not think of it a lot
     
  9. YoGirl

    YoGirl Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    646
    Likes Received:
    761
    Trophy Points:
    188
    Gender:
    Female
    OP,

    There are many practices that H will have as they come from different family.. and men in general are insensitive to such practices(courtesy to mil who think son is not needed to follow such rules).

    Dont try to completly fix what he does.. instead find a middle ground.. put a mat in front of mandir and consider it as sacred space vs the whole room, or put bathroom footwear separate and tell him to leave the footwear in the bathtub after use so that they get washed before next use which indirectly means that hos feet are clean.. etc.. dumb ideas.. i know!
     
    Sangeeta85 likes this.
  10. Sangeeta85

    Sangeeta85 Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    578
    Likes Received:
    366
    Trophy Points:
    138
    Gender:
    Female
    Thank you!!
     

Share This Page