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Was this an insult? How would guys take this as? Please I need you opinion ladies! Ty

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by indubalram, Apr 22, 2015.

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Apr 22, 2015 #1
indubalram IL Hall of Fame

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There had been always a cold war between both houses. Its all because of MIl the whole war. She keeps comparing both the family, like whos better all that stuff. BIl is elder and normally takes care of MIl even if we are ready to spend for her [COLOR=#009900 !important]medical issues[/COLOR], MIl wants the elder one to spend etc.

It was their sons [COLOR=#009900 !important]marriage[/COLOR]. And we went all the way to attend the wedding inspite of many insults before. Since we stay in Usa and I work I had to cut my hair short. They just gave this reason and did not allow me to do the ritual which is normally done by every one in the family. This is called the rice balls rounding ceremony. I was wearing the 9 yards and could tie my hair with a band.My Mil had the greatest joy of informing me in front of everyone. Hey [COLOR=#009900 !important]look here[/COLOR] you cannot do this ritual tomorrow since you have cut your hair!!!

I just want to know is this an insult? How would you guys take this?

Please give me your opinion. I had posted this thread before. But I m unable to forget this event hence I need an honest opinion. Whatever I feel is it right?

Thank you members!

indubalram, Apr 22, 2015

indubalram, Apr 22, 2015

#1

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Apr 22, 2015 #2

indubalram IL Hall of Fame

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Re: Was this an insult? How would guys take this as? Please I need you opinion ladies

Added to above Now My MIL has come over to my house to stay for few months. And now she acting that Im the best of all DIl. But she says I don't interfere in any stuff since she is old and dependent on others for everything when I confront with about this incident.

Please give me your opinion. Ty

indubalram, Apr 22, 2015

indubalram, Apr 22, 2015

#2
Apr 22, 2015 #3

Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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Re: Was this an insult? How would guys take this as? Please I need you opinion ladies

indubalram said: ↑

Please give me your opinion. I had posted this thread before. But I m unable to forget this event hence I need an honest opinion. Whatever I feel is it right?

Thank you members!
Click to expand...

I'll give you my honest opinion.

Such incidents happen. And they do bother. Of course, better is to let it go, but human mind can be like two monkeys and one banana. So, it will rankle. That this happened in front of all wedding guests, makes it harder to let go.

I hope this becomes an active thread, and CrayoNess learns about rice balls making ceremony.

Seriously, if it bothers you, it bothers. You can ask what bothers others and what makes them happy, but it is not wrong if there is a mismatch between the majority and you. You are you.

Rihana, Apr 22, 2015

Rihana, Apr 22, 2015

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Apr 22, 2015 #4

indubalram IL Hall of Fame

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Re: Was this an insult? How would guys take this as? Please I need you opinion ladies

Thank you @Rihana for your honest opinion. That Crayoness was good1.
But I m unable to get over this and I keep brooding about it. Whenever I see my Mil I think only about this incident.

indubalram, Apr 22, 2015

indubalram, Apr 22, 2015

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Apr 22, 2015 #5

MalStrom IL Hall of Fame

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Re: Was this an insult? How would guys take this as? Please I need you opinion ladies

What is this rule? I did this ritual at my brother's wedding with 'bobbed' hair. If anyone had brought this up, my aunts would have shut them down.
OP, in your case what's done is done. The time to make a stand has passed. Your in laws behaved poorly, no doubt. It is natural to feel upset. However for your own peace of mind you should find a way to process this and move on.

MalStrom, Apr 22, 2015

MalStrom, Apr 22, 2015

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Apr 22, 2015 #6

sdiva20 Platinum IL'ite

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Re: Was this an insult? How would guys take this as? Please I need you opinion ladies

Like Rihana said, if it bothers you, it bothers you. But if you look at it in another way, by letting it rankle so much, you are disturbing your own peace of mind. Instead, if you give her insults not much importance, she will be the one that will be bothered.

My way is if it bothers me, I will speak about it directly and get it out of my system. But perhaps you may not be able to do it with your MIL. So maybe just let go and give it no importance.

sdiva20, Apr 22, 2015

sdiva20, Apr 22, 2015

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Apr 22, 2015 #7

indubalram IL Hall of Fame

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Re: Was this an insult? How would guys take this as? Please I need you opinion ladies

Thanks @sdiva for your reply. But would you attend any of the future functions where these people are present. Should I not avoid? They are my MIL and Co-sis and BIL!

indubalram, Apr 22, 2015

indubalram, Apr 22, 2015

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Apr 22, 2015 #8

indubalram IL Hall of Fame

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Re: Was this an insult? How would guys take this as? Please I need you opinion ladies

Thanks @Malstorm
But would you attend there functions in future?

indubalram, Apr 22, 2015

indubalram, Apr 22, 2015

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Apr 22, 2015 #9

Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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Re: Was this an insult? How would guys take this as? Please I need you opinion ladies

indubalram said: ↑

Thanks @Malstorm
But would you attend there functions in future?
Click to expand...

do unto others... if you want them to attend your functions, you have to attend theirs.

Who knows what the future holds! You can have certain plans for your daughter's wedding, and plot some 'treatments' to dish out... but finally, one never knows what happens when, why....

To answer your question, yes, attend, and have some pithy comebacks ready. Like I suggested in the other thread - maybe look at DH very lovingly and mesmerizingly, and mysteriously, and coyly, as if the years are disappearing and you are carried back to your own wedding day (or even better, wedding night), and say he likes your hair that way.... easier for him to apply the henna/dye...
Or shock the enemy by agreeing... say that DH says the same thing and that you will get hair extensions pronto.

Malstorm, did you get "excused" for the "bobbed" hair because you had committed bigger "felonies" already ? j/k.

Rihana, Apr 22, 2015

Rihana, Apr 22, 2015

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Apr 22, 2015 #10

indubalram IL Hall of Fame

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Re: Was this an insult? How would guys take this as? Please I need you opinion ladies

But I hate looking at their faces!

indubalram, Apr 22, 2015

indubalram, Apr 22, 2015

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