Want A Little Freedom In Life

SinghManisha · Aug 10, 2018

Your husband has too much time on his hands. From deciding which bathtowels to use to which bedsheets to wash. Next he will also decide how many pairs of bra and panties you can own. You have married a stingy control freak. Give him an ultimatum: If he continues to give you pocket money you will have a separate account to which he will have no access whatsoever.

SaiNiharika · Aug 14, 2018

Rakhii said: ↑

OP, it seems like money is just a part of the problem. To me, addressing the root cause seems to be a better solution. Your husband is a control freak; you need to break this pattern first. From bed spreads, petrol and how much “pocket money” you should have is decided by him. Usually, besides taking all the decisions, how is he? Is he a reasonable man who would listen to some reasoning of your own? I would start with easier problems and then move to the bigger problem (money). Like start with bed spreads. Tell him, this week we are going to use these bed spreads. Even if he wants the exact same thing, chances are he will say no. Tell him then that next week he will get his turn to choose. Let him sulk, let him fight, let him get upset. He is almost like a child throwing tantrums. Don’t give in. Do you give in to your child if he/she continues with bad behaviour? No right… so don’t enable this bad behaviour of his. Start small. Work one thing at a time.
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Thanks for suggestion. He is responsible person. Only the problem is he is miser and expecting same from me. He gaves importance to money rather than relation ship and humnas

yellowmango · Aug 16, 2018

Op....agree with @Rakhii here.
Start taking control of smaller things first.
Put the sheets for wash when you feel the need. Unless he is the one doing the laundry ...he has no business controlling. If he says something,tell him the sheet was dirty. No more explanations.

Do the same for towels .

Start buying things on your own . Small things like groceries, fruits etc. These are things that do not require both people to vote. Just buy it .

Tell him you will buy things on your way back from work or tell him you found a great place to shop closer to work.Slowly start being part of the decision making.

Since he is a miser....buy smart.
Buy things on sale or in bulk ( only if you need) and show him how much you saved.

Op...if you keep accepting his controlling behavior,he will continue it to the last day of your life.
You have one life too. You can't deprive yourself just to keep him in good mood all your life.

It is his marriage too. He should also worry about keeping peace in the marriage .

SaiNiharika · Aug 16, 2018

yellowmango said: ↑

Start taking control of smaller things first.
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I really like this idea. And want to implement this from today. Guys thanks for replies and support. These are all not silly replies all are very good and useful replies. Not only for me all like me. May be this workout for me or not. But defiantly it gives some boostup for people like me. Thanks for support.