Want A Little Freedom In Life

Praise him for whatever he does and add that you would like to take charge of financial management in certain spending and savings. Over period of time things ll change.Mind your tone. He doesn't sound like a bad h.

 

You talk to him and spend from your earning; let him put the 1000 rs as savings. Prove to him you are a responsible in your spending. It seems like he is taking the responsibility for providing for the family and wants to save for the future and rainy day. You have already said you have health problems; if there is any major problem you need money to take care of health issues.

It looks to me, you are not mature and it is more about your freedom rather than being a true partner in this marriage. As one said, you can have a frank discussion and tell him that you would be a much better person, if he didn't micromanage you. Marriage is a partnership, and you don't seem willing to be helpful, you feel it is a burden on you when you have to do something for him.

As for filling patrol to your bike, be appreciative that he is doing something for you rather than looking at it as control. Not every thing is about control. It is how you perceive.

You can only change yourself, you can't control others. "High tone" implies demand which will not help change him.
He is a good guy and you need to look more as a unit than "my freedom". He is not a spendthrift for himself either,
spending is easy, earning and saving is hard.

I quite didn't get what you wrote, "If i / he any one skids from bike he didi not bother about him/us bothers about bike it hurts me alot."

 

No one stops women from working and making equal amount of money and contribute equal amount towards the household expenses.
Then you can have all the freedom in the world to enjoy.

 

She does work .Still not ' allowed' .
Hence the thread.

 

No there are some men who only wants wife to be a homemaker. Taking care of kids and home ..

 

May be it is time for women to find their own mates. They will get to know the person, they can clear all these restrictions before making commitment. Less hassle to the parents; parents don't have to spend on gold jewelry gifts, big weddings etc.

All that parents should do, is to give a good education so that they (son/daughter) can be gainfully employed. It should be up to the couple; parents are not obligated to get their children married, but they can chose to help for the wedding if they can. Don't have to marry a stranger and later be unhappy about it. No blame game anymore. It is a win win for all concerned and society as a whole.

It is about time to ditch the arranged marriage. As more and more people take this route, it will become a norm.

 

Just because she gets to work does not mean anything; unless, she contributes towards the household expenses. The husband may not have grown up poor; but he sure as hell does not want to retire poor and depend on kids to take care of him and her in the old age.

It is not necessary to be dependent at old age by not planning for one's own retirement.
Being dependent creates conflicts once children try to make their own household, which in turn ruins the relationship within the family. No fun being a volley ball between the kids.

 

Dear Niharika,
Some are control freaks. They enjoy it and go and on. As long as one lives according to their fancies. Otherwise life would be miserable and suffocating. So come out of it as soon as possible. As time passes it increases. Be plain and frank and take life into your hands. First step is always difficult.... But if you take it life would be happy. He does not like a bad guy. But do it as soon as possible.
Good luck.
Syamala