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Very Disturbed.

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by kenny, Jun 11, 2019.

  1. Priya16

    Priya16 IL Hall of Fame

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    As long as you are in this realtion, this drama will continue. You need to learn to stand up for the things are which are important to you and ignore things which are small.
    Now, he is coming to your terms. Either you take that offer and go and enjoy your vacation. Next time he will think before doing this kind of drama. If you want to continue in this relation, then you may need to go for his place. But, plan a trip to your mom's place next time. But don't mess up things badly, it will cause a lot of trama.
     
  2. lavani

    lavani Gold IL'ite

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    first your H is weird man. no matter what indian men and their upbringing after 12 years, their first and only priority becomes their kids and lot towards wife.

    i do not have any inputs to say, you will be getting a lot better inputs from lot of Ils here. but i just want to give a perspective, and mind you i may be wrong too, from what i read is, you have also tolerated and feed the tantrums of this stupid MIL and her momma boy for 12 years and now revolting won't change everything in 1 day. it will be gradual and should be slow. sorry , blood is thicker and change is hard.

    follow the inputs and be assertive slowly and increasingly.

    put yourself and kids as priority . enjoy your life . time is not reversible.
     
    hermitcrab likes this.
  3. Reesha

    Reesha Silver IL'ite

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    Indian culture traps women and makes them an unpaid servant.

    i am also trapped :(
     
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  4. ASHRAF434

    ASHRAF434 New IL'ite

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  5. soulful

    soulful Platinum IL'ite

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    Kenny, I am worried for you. first take care of your health. things can happen only if you are in good health. Remember you have a daughter to care for. He can live without you, but your daughter needs you.


    1)ignore his tactics for the time being and start focusing on yourself.

    exercise and meditate. Your brain will start functioning and you will be in a better place to think how to approach. You have suffered 12 years, what is 12 more days or 12 more weeks?

    2) Fact is you cannot change his behaviour. You can only change YOUR attitude towards his behaviour.

    Read self help quotes and articles on the internet. Read about The Buddha's life and His teachings. Remember this quote - how others treat you is their karma, how you react is your's. Try to change your reaction to his attitude. That is in your hands.

    He is DEFINITELY playing games and he is using your innocent daughter as a pawn in his games. You focusing on the wrongs he is doing, will not change him. Everyone who takes birth has their own lessons to learn in this world. He will learn his when it is time. Focus on learning your lessons. Less focus on him, more on you.Do your duties without expectation. Tell yourself it is HIS karma and he will pay for it when it is time.Let it go. Read the article below -

    Two Monks and a Woman - a Zen Lesson | KindSpring.org
     
    hermitcrab likes this.

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