1. Have an Interesting Snippet to Share : Click Here
    Dismiss Notice

Valentine Day

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by Kamalji, Feb 14, 2012.

  1. Kamalji

    Kamalji IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    13,153
    Likes Received:
    5,806
    Trophy Points:
    545
    Gender:
    Male
    Valentine Day​

    My younger daughter, was born on Valentine’s day, and I came to know much later that her birthday on the 14th of Feb, is called Valentine’s day. Just imagine I went thru all of 50 years, without knowing the significance of this day, so u can imagine how dull my college days must have been, but I am sure all the other students in our college too were not aware of this day in the seventies.

    And here on Valentines day both me and brother as without our wives, wife gone to her Guru, and bhabhi off to Mumbai for a family marriage.

    Yesterday I received a joke, which said,
    Being unmarried has one great disadvantage.
    You can fall off the bed from both the sides !!!!!

    So since I am a temprory bachelor today, I will sleep in the middle of the bed, so I don’t fall off either side eh !

    But there are some guys who are lucky who have more than one wife. Dharmendra is one, pandit Ravi Shanker is another, and there was a nice article of guys who have two and more.

    There was this case I read which made very interesting reading. A widower, two daughters, elder one handicapped.
    He found the match for his younger daughter, and requested him, that please take the other one too, for if I die what will happen to my elder daughter.

    So he got a good scheme, Buy one, get other one Free, sorry I meant marry wife and get Saali Free eh ! Not bad at all.

    There was this other fellow who slyly married a dozen , and when caught, he confessed that he loved all of them and distributed his love and money equally among them, of course none of the wives were aware that he had married others. But they all forgived him, I don’t know if he was jailed or he lived happily ever after. Let me see if I can find that newspaper clip, then I can scan it for u to believe me.

    And look at our dear Karunanidhi, 4 offical wives eh ! Sol he must be going broke on Valentine’s day, Cheeniya stays close to him , maybe he knows better eh !Film Actress Rekha’s dad too had 4, what romantic fellows these are, I evny them, HAHA.

    And today I read, that what does a girl want as a Valentine Gift . A rose ? As abhishekh bachhan says, old idea. It seems most of the girls interviewed would want a I Phone S as a gift !!! A guy it seems has borrowed money to gift his girlfriend this. The question now remains is, what happens if they break up, then to whom will the I phone belong to ? I think a lot of such cases will come in future, to the courts, and the judges will be laughing while hearing the case.

    Spain has a different tradition. The Boy has to gift the girl red undies. Red undies are sold just this one day in Spain. Red means love. But a few years back when asked the girls said they would prefer golden undies, for gold means money, and they would prefer the money of the boy to his love !!!

    Now coming to business, and how to increase it. Let them release the old silent movies of the black and white era, note the word SILENT , and price the tickets exhorbitantly, say 250 per head, or 450 a couple, giving a little discount, and the show would go housefull, u know why. With AC, no sound, and a ligitmate place to coochie coo, the couples would anyway have eyes for each other, it would be house full, the theatres minting money, they would be buying the movie for almost free, and the couples having privacy. And no Ram Sena fellows to trouble u eh ! Even if u are seen with the girl, u can always say there is no crime in watching a movie eh !

    Now valentines day presents have become so expensive , that a girl would not accept a rose , is it ?what a materialistic world this has become. But it has made me happy this piece of news, u know why ?

    When my daughter gets married, her birthday and Valentine’s day falls on the same day, so it saves her husband one extra gift, now a I phone costs like 40,000 bucks, so even in 10 years , it works out to 4 lakjs of savings for my future son in law, and so 4 lakhs I will give him less in Dowry.

    No wonder I am called so intelligent eh ! planning the birth of my daughter to the T as they say.

    But let me give u a free piece of advise, ther e is another good date coming up to give birth to yr child that is 12.12.12, and u have just one week to plan out, if u know what I mean, to deliver on this wonderful unique once in a life time date.

    Kamalji tussi great ho ji !!

    KAMAL MAHTANI

    Teacher was teaching Mahabharata to the kids
    “ Kans heard that the 8th son of Deviki would kill him. So he put Deviki and Vasudev in prison.
    1st child was born, he was killed by poison.2nd was killed by the sword.
    At this point a boy raised his hand to clear his doubts. The boy said
    “ If Kans knew the 8th child of their would kill him,why did he put deviki and vasudev in the same Jail !!!
    TEACHER FAINTED !!!



    Doctor to lady – Your heart lungs , pulse and BP are OK.
    Now let me see that little thing that always gets u into trouble.
    Now lady, don’t strip please.
    Let me see your tongue !!!!!



    Ladkiya paraya dhan hoti hai, to ladke kya hote hai ?
    Chor hote hai, kyon ki unki nazarein paraya ddhan pe hoti hai !!!



    I told my friend to always embrace his mistakes.
    He started to cry, and started to hug his wife !!!



    Some film actresses were travelling in a train.
    Sushmita Sen was travelling in a sari, she was fined 500 bucks by the TT.
    Aishwarya was in jeans she was fined 300
    Katrina in skirt was fined 50/-
    Mallika Sherawat was wearing a micro mini, and she was charged nothing.
    You dirty minds , iti s not what u think it is.
    You see all others did not have a valid ticket, Mallika had one !!!



    Son – I got punished in school today
    Father – Why ?
    Son – the teacher pointed the scale towards me and said, there is a fool at the end of the scale
    All I just did was ask , Sir, which end of the scale !!!!!
     
    1 person likes this.
    Loading...

  2. Mindian

    Mindian IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    6,330
    Likes Received:
    3,272
    Trophy Points:
    355
    Gender:
    Female
    No wonder I am called so intelligent eh ! planning the birth of my daughter to the T as they say

    vah vah kamlaji..you are REALLY very intelligent. :)
    but one thing i don't understand is why do you worry so much for your damaad. why should you bother about saving him his money? shouldn't he shower your daughter with presents ????

    I am sure the student who questioned the teacher about khans was kamal junior. LOL
     
    1 person likes this.
  3. kelly1966

    kelly1966 Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,798
    Likes Received:
    1,529
    Trophy Points:
    283
    Gender:
    Female
    Kamalji..
    a great laugh after a hearty lunch with a(girl) friend its her son's birthday also today and he is in boarding school.. so we always have lunch together on Valentines day.. she treats...and we were looking at all the young couples come and eat away.. gifts and all and then thought that soon after a couple of years we too will have to provide our boys with enough cash to impress his girlfriend but only saving grace is that both our boys are very miserly.. they save every rupee...
    I always wonder at people with multiple spouses... how do they manage to keep them all satisfied????... idhar ek ko sambhalna mushkil hain...
    loved your jokes
    Kerman
     
  4. Kamalji

    Kamalji IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    13,153
    Likes Received:
    5,806
    Trophy Points:
    545
    Gender:
    Male
    Dear Mindi,

    Well let him shower all the presents he wants.HAHA. Kamal junior , is it ? HAHA

    Regards

    kamal
     
  5. Kamalji

    Kamalji IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    13,153
    Likes Received:
    5,806
    Trophy Points:
    545
    Gender:
    Male
    Dear Kelly,

    She gives u a treat on Val day, wow, so u have something to look forward to .Yes theboys will need money to shower gifts, but val day does n ot come cheap, i have heard girls just dont want roses that day.HAHA

    Good ur boys are miserly, that is the way they should be, and GF's keep changing every year, like we change ringtones regualrly, so why gift something expensive.HAHA

    Yes Dharmendra what must he be giving his two wives i wonder.HAHA

    REgards

    kamal
     
  6. vjbunny

    vjbunny IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    4,874
    Likes Received:
    1,806
    Trophy Points:
    315
    Gender:
    Female
    Dear Kamalji....
    Ha Ha Ha...What splendid blog the Kans joke awesome and the last one too...I agree with Mindi....
     
  7. Kamalji

    Kamalji IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    13,153
    Likes Received:
    5,806
    Trophy Points:
    545
    Gender:
    Male
    Dear Bunny,

    kya re, blog ka to kuch bola nahin, and u just liked the jokes eh ! HAHA

    Regards

    kamal
     

Share This Page