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Vacation To India Unneccessary Expense.

Discussion in 'Indians in the UK' started by Neelaa, Jul 18, 2019.

  1. SinghManisha

    SinghManisha Platinum IL'ite

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    Other neighbors might make more money, have financial help from parents etc. or have less savings because of their the frequent travel. You can not compare your life to theirs.
    Like others pointed, this is a good opportunity to work toward getting a job. Can you study further ? Or a retail job like someone else said.

    This is also a good time to sit down with husband to discuss and know what the finances are. Even if you are a housewife, you cannot be ignorant about how much you have and how to access it , in case of anything.

    Accept this with a mature outlook.
    ( FaceTime, Skype, WhatsApp, use them all to stay connected)





     
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  2. shravs3

    shravs3 IL Hall of Fame

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    It’s easy to talk when one doesn’t have any idea about how things work
     
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  3. Neelaa

    Neelaa Bronze IL'ite

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    I have never worked in India, am on dependent visa here. He s saying, during summer holidays ticket fares are high, so he doesn't want us to travel on this time of the year. He s saying he will book ticket during school days, so that the fares are lesser.
    I tried telling him we cannot go to india other than on summer holidays, but no use. He keeps telling that why he said trip every three years once.
    I am scared to behave like a non supportive spouse. He will surely react aggressively, if I do any such thing.
     
  4. Neelaa

    Neelaa Bronze IL'ite

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    @BhumiBabe , Glad to know abt your mom's work exp. I will start a new thread to find what work options I have.
    @Angela123 @SinghManisha , Thanks for your word. Yes, I need to search a job and save money for my future expense. Learned a lesson from this incident.
     
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  5. DDream

    DDream Platinum IL'ite

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    What he said is right. If you have not booked, its going to be expensive for this summer . So need to plan in advance if you want to go during this time. Why dont try your self using sites like Expedia.com, orbitz.com etc.. You can explore yourself. Another way is to see if you can go during fall break or Christmas time. During particular days during weekdays, ticket charge is low compared to weekends. So check pricing of favorite flight for all those days, and if you find any. you can show to dh and book tickets. Why you depend on him for exploring it. Try it and see if anything available during your favourite time for vacation. Another way is to ask any travel agent you know.
     
  6. Amica

    Amica IL Hall of Fame

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    For him, yes, it's an unnecessary expense since his parents will be visiting next year.

    For you, it's different. If you want a break and miss your FOO, a trip home may be very necessary. How long has it been since you met your parents? You may not want to wait several years to see them again.

    Marriage is a partnership and both of you should have a say in all decisions. Aim for equality, don't accept less — especially in the early years of married life.

    If he makes all financial decisions because he's the sole breadwinner, remind him that you get to make all decisions related to hearth and home: everything related to children, what food gets cooked and, when your ILs are here, how they get treated and what services are offered. :expressionless:

    Every family makes financial decisions to suit their individual wants and needs. Some fly home every chance they get. Others save their money for house, cars, kids' education. There's no right and wrong choice here. What's wrong is your DH making unilateral decisions for the family.

    True. And he must learn to cook, clean, raise his kids and look after his parents.

    Good luck, @Neelaa!
    .
     
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  7. shalini79

    shalini79 Senior IL'ite

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    How do you know I have no idea about how things work?
    I was in US with my husband for 2.5 years. For both of us, visiting parents once every year was high on priority. And we did make 2 trips in 2.5 years to visit them. Only difference in our case was for both of us visiting parents was high on our list.
     
  8. Topaz49

    Topaz49 Gold IL'ite

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    My husband also said the same thing and we didn't go to India for the 1st 9 years. I didn't agree and I was even upset. After decades I saw his wisdom. He helped financially lot of his family members, parents got a chance to visit and experience foreign land. We saved for children's college education and our retirement and we vacationed to places within the country we lived. We could not have done all these by visiting India every year, not going to India helped save from buying and hoarding saris and jewellry during every visit.

    If money is not an object or if you are also working to contribute towards the family, then it is a different matter. Otherwise, your husband takes his fiscal responsibilities seriously and one day you will thank him. Indian vacations are the most expensive ones.
     
    Last edited: Jul 24, 2019
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  9. Topaz49

    Topaz49 Gold IL'ite

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    Unlike in India, jobs are not secure and there is nothing to fall back on other than one's earning. By the time, you pay for the medical, car, home insurance, income tax, property tax, expenses towards the various activities we like to put our children etc,. there is not much left. Jobs are not secure and you need funds for rainy day, enough to live/move until one finds the next job.
     
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  10. Topaz49

    Topaz49 Gold IL'ite

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    feeling secure while living, in a foreign country, especially, when you have children is very important. If wife does not work, then her husband has the burden and sole responsibility for the family. As a partner, exploring to work to make money for the trip is another option.
     

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