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Vacation To India Unneccessary Expense.

Discussion in 'Indians in the UK' started by Neelaa, Jul 18, 2019.

  1. Angela123

    Angela123 Silver IL'ite

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    I do not agree with @shalini79 here. People move to different country for several different reasons. Sometimes plans change.

    In my case I am living in US for 9 years now. I got married to my husband when he was a student. His story is similar to what @Amulet described. But a little better. He and I were students on F1 and then on OPT, then on H1 and now on green card. but we were able to visit several times (thanks to his job which has international travel). But it was never on vacation. All due to family needs. we are close to our immediate family (Mom, Dad and Siblings) And we try to talk to them every week without fail. We don't have any relatives in the US, so this is something we do even if we don't like it sometimes (family drama y'all :blush:) to keep the connection. Anyway, my point is our vacation is elsewhere which last for 5-7 days or sometimes less.
    We visit India when needed. The thing is, since we both work and do not have flexible schedules with office, if we go to India, on vacation, we worry that if some emergency comes up, we will not have enough vacation days to go for that. Expensive is another reason.

    So OP, we are those people do not go to India for vacation every year!
     
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  2. DDream

    DDream Platinum IL'ite

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    He said he will bring his parents, not your parents. Dont you have to visit your parents. So if you want to go, stick with that. If he is not interested to come, you can go with kids. What you can do is, fix a time, check web site like Expedia to get an idea about flight tickets . You may have to buy tickets for kids too.

    Have you visited India in the last 2-3 years? If he is the provider, not earning much it may be financial issues. In that case, it is not easy to visit India every year. Depending on season, the expense can vary. If finance is not the issue, there is no point in postponing trip for another 3-4 years. Many people I know visit parents every 2years atleast.

    If he dont have money, how he will bring parents. Money is also needed for visa, tickets for two, medical insurance etc.. isn't double standard? If you is really want to go, you can convince Dh and go. If not it will be a new normal for you.

    Nearly $10 K can easily go for a family trip of four which include, tickets and other expenses once you are in India. India is also expensive.
     
    Last edited: Jul 18, 2019
  3. Shreema86

    Shreema86 Gold IL'ite

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    You can agree to your husbands idea but be firm that first turn to come will be your parents not his . Lets see if he still stands by his idea then..
     
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  4. SinghManisha

    SinghManisha Platinum IL'ite

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    Sad truth of life ! OP would be in a better position to dictate whose parents visit first , if she was funding the tickets with her pay.
    It would also be easier for her to tell her husband “ ***** you! I am booking the tickets for me and our kids ” .

    It is unfair to make this “a my parents vs your parents” fight. Traveling to India every year by eating away into your savings and future, foolishness.

    Instead, save the money to travel frequently later when parents are older and need more help.


     
  5. Neelaa

    Neelaa Bronze IL'ite

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    Thank you to all who responded to my thread. I couldn't reply to each of your response, so putting it together here. Mine is a single income household, so my husband takes decision on major expenses. I want to go see my parents , I miss them. But my husband keeps pointing as waste of money. Some of my neighbours are visiting India everyyear, I dunno how come they are able manage this expense every year. Even some posters replied they visit every year. When I told husbanf about this, he said " you get a job, save money and visit every year". Pathetic foreign life. I am too upset. No options now, have made my mind to accept this.
     
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  6. Shreema86

    Shreema86 Gold IL'ite

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    You should take up on his offer and find yourself a job then..your husband is taking advantage of the fact that you are financially dependent on him and making major decisions himself. you are living in a developed country in the 21st century, why put up with ******** like this.. there might come a time when you would need to fly home to attend to your parents, what will you do if your husband refuses to buy a ticket then.. wake up before its too late.
     
  7. Neelaa

    Neelaa Bronze IL'ite

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    You are correct shreema, I must be financially independent to meet my future visit expense. My younger son is only two and half year old, have to wait till he goes to school. I got married immediately after graduation. no working experience so far. Am a B com graduate. With this qualification I have no idea how to find a job here.
     
  8. IL86

    IL86 Silver IL'ite

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    @Neelaa, what was your employment situation before coming to UK? Did you work in India? Did you leave your job to support your husband's job prospects? Were you happy with this move?

    Also did you ask him if he can't afford your trip how could he afford his parents visit? It costs more than your visit to India considering visa,medical insurance ,tickets, living costs as well as trips for them within country.

    It's time you set some ground rules if he expects you to stay in a foreign country to support his job prospects he has to give something in return. You can try for a job here also if you think it's difficult here and if India is better for your job prospects can you have discussion about it with him? And if he expects you to pay for your own tickets to visit your parents,it's time you need to say you are not going to serve his parents when they visit, because he is not doing anything extra if he thinks only giving shelter and food is enough for you then you need to look after only your immediate family not his parents. U need to voice out your opinion.

    Also do you have any savings of your own,if yes this one time book your tickets and go , come back and find a job and make it very clear to him you will not do anything for his parents if they visit ,as for whatever he is giving you , you are already paying back more with service to him and looking after kids. No extra service for extended family. Be clear and communicate this.
     
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  9. BhumiBabe

    BhumiBabe Platinum IL'ite

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    My mom hadn’t finished 12th std, and she worked retail to get the money (or at least partially earn) for her India trips. I know some women take up jobs like, bank teller, substitute teacher, retail, daycare, that are more flexible to start with.
     
  10. Angela123

    Angela123 Silver IL'ite

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    Neela,

    It might hurt but your husband is right. Since the husband is the only one working, it might be hard to meet all the expenses if you have a trip india every year. it takes a long time to save that money back into the account if there is only one working person! There are people who visit India with whole family every year for a month or two. Everyone's story is different. Your neighbors might have a different situation. Please do not compare yourself to others. It causes only worries.
    Like someone pointed out, save money for future when you have to visit them. There will be emergencies in the future. If you have a work permit, look for part time jobs. even small one with only few hours would help save money and may be you can put it all towards the india travel expenses.
     

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