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Vacation To India Unneccessary Expense.

Discussion in 'Indians in the UK' started by Neelaa, Jul 18, 2019.

  1. Neelaa

    Neelaa Bronze IL'ite

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    Hi ILites,
    In UK, summer holidays started for school kids. I told my dh to book tickets to india for vacation. I too need a vacation badly, as i am tired of taking care of my two naughty boys alone here. But my husband refused and said he don't want to go to india for next three years. He has plans to bring his parent here on visit visa next year. He said he will call my parents another year. He says indians here plan vacation to india once in every two or three year as a family. If they miss their family, parents are called to visit UK. Is this true? He keeps advicing that I should learn to save money from unneccesary expenses, while staying in a foreign land. Travelling to India once in a year is an unneccessary expense? Please clarify.
     
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  2. BhumiBabe

    BhumiBabe Platinum IL'ite

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    Back when I was growing up, in the US (90s and 00s), my parents could only afford to visit india as a family every 2-3 years. We also could not afford to bring my grandparents to visit. Many others had even longer periods of being unable to visit India. It’s not easy to live like this. My mother, after years of this routine, finally gets to visit India yearly now that her kids are out of the house.

    I don’t think your need for an India trip is unnecessary, but it is a significant expense, especially when there are 3 to 4 people traveling. If it is very important for you to visit yearly, you must stand up for that privilege. I say it’s a privilege, because it costs money and isnt always affordable for all families. I will also mention, that as your sons get older, they will not be interested in yearly India visits. It would cut into their summer activities. The luxury of yearly visits can only be enjoyed when they are young (and when you have enough support in India for visits). Oh yea, that’s the other thing - nothing is permanent. I feel like if it’s important for you to enjoy with your kids with your family in India and you can afford to, then you should do so, because you don’t know what the future holds and how long you can do this. Usually, if parents are old or passed away, there is very little reason or support to go back and visit India.
     
    Last edited: Jul 18, 2019
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  3. Amulet

    Amulet Platinum IL'ite

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    My cousin went to USA on student (F1) visa. After getting his degree (4 years) he was on something called optional practical training visa for a year. And then his employer sponsored him for a green card. Few more years went by without any visit to India. By the time he was able to visit, more than 10 years had elapsed. A few close relatives had passed on. His visit was to "see" the short-listed girls for a bride-pick. After his wedding he went back to USA. After that every three years his wife would go home to her parents, always with her children. He was not a frequent traveller to India. In some 25 years he had been to visit India only thrice. As their children grew up, they didn't want to holiday in India -- instead they went to Florida, or Hawaii.
     
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  4. Sunshine04

    Sunshine04 Platinum IL'ite

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    For me India trip once a year,is not a unnecessary expense.
    It depends on the financial situation of the family.
    You are burnt out and need a break. So vacation is needed for you.
    Your husband will bring his parents first.
    Then may leave a year citing expenses.
    Then he will bring your parents.
    But if you go, all grandparents get to see you and grandchildren
     
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  5. SinghManisha

    SinghManisha Platinum IL'ite

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    Traveling to India from USA/ UK for a family of four is probably worth two months salary . It is cost effective to have parents visit ( two tickets, more quality time). I have had times where I could not go back to India for 4 years and parents/ in-laws visited instead.
    I think your husbands decision is purely financial one, so don’t be too upset over it.
     
  6. Amulet

    Amulet Platinum IL'ite

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    hahaha.... I am (sort of) like your mother. I went away early in life. Like Mowgli (of Rudyard Kipling) I was taken away and raised in a weird set up. When I was grown up, I barked (&howled) in a different accent :facepalm::frown:. Going to India is a deliberate choice: only for weddings and funerals, and rarely for vacations. India is always an adventure-holiday, like strenuous hiking or mountain climbing in having to deal with extended family and their local problems. For vacations, there are plenty of other places in the world.
     
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  7. IL86

    IL86 Silver IL'ite

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    @Neelaa I have stayed in UK from last 6 years and have visited every year , every other Indian families I know visit each year if booked in advance you can always get cheapest possible tickets. I would say don't give in for this you need a break too. And bringing in parents usually costs more in-terms of visa , medical insurance ,tickets and the stay here along with taking them places all costs more money than your India visit. If he can afford that he can afford your India trip too. Are you willing to not visit your parents for next two years till they come here as he promised and are you certain he will bring your parents for sure. Once you allow this it will become a routine. I would say don't give in even if he doesn't want to come tell him you want to visit every year with your children and do some research for cheapest available tickets and ask him to book that. People just don't live only for money if he could afford parents visit he can afford yours too.
     
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  8. shalini79

    shalini79 Senior IL'ite

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    If you are staying so so so far away and still not making enough money to come and visit your family, with whom you have spent 18-25+ years of your life, then whats the point of earning so much money. Better pack up and return to India and stay somewhere closer to your loved ones.
     
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  9. YoGirl

    YoGirl Gold IL'ite

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    IMHO.. living abroad is not just for minting money.. its for other things as well.. like peaceful life, good education , safety.. etc.

    Op,
    India trips are expensive for family of 4. When a guy(husband) visits India, the expenses go further.. as he will end up spending or rather made to spend in the pretext of being NRI.
    You along with kids (without husband)to India should minimize expenses and you will have a peaceful time with your parents and in-laws.
     
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  10. Sunshine04

    Sunshine04 Platinum IL'ite

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    Oh yeah. Happens every time
     
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