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Vacation period...

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by breeze01, Sep 12, 2013.

  1. breeze01

    breeze01 Platinum IL'ite

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    hi all,

    This is about the ongoing topic for me and my husband..he is here in usa from 3 years its going to be 4 years by the end of this year.. he visited india within year he came as i have all my family here, i felt like he miss his family and especially his cousins, mom whom they are very close with, and also at that time one of his fav uncle was sick he also want to go see him.vacation was only for month but i have to extend ticket two times which i did it anyways wiithout really want to, then we went to india this year in feb with my son to visit relatives, he want to stay for two months so me and my son came back while he stayed there at the same time his aunt passed away so he didnt get much time to go out of house and hang out with relatives or friends..

    Now after two months we have to go to india for my bros wedding for which he dont want to agree for 3 weeks stay.. because of my work i cant stay more than 3 weeks and he doesnt want to come back with me he rather want to stay there and want me and kid want to come back with my other bro...i was telling him everytime you keep telling me same thing but this time it doesnt work like that.. either you have to come with us or you can go with dad,and other bro to help them with wedding arrangments... he didnt decide yet what to do.. do you all think what i said is fair or not.. everytime he go visit and come more expenses adding up and its takes mostly month for him to go back to work and all the time is wasting and i cant able to save any with this kind of situation.. how can i convence him or make him understand situation... he feels like if he stay more in india every body going to stay with him and hang out with him i mean relatives/friends.. he didnt understand that they can stay with him only for a little while and as people got works to do they will be back with their normal routine life... suggest me some ideas...
     
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  2. ars

    ars Platinum IL'ite

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    How can he take off so many days from work?
    doesn't he have a stable job?
    i feel he is very imature. what can you do? other than telling him.
     
  3. breeze01

    breeze01 Platinum IL'ite

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    my bros are not so familiar with the wedding things in india so i am asking my hubby if he can go with my parents to help them out anyways they going only two weeks before we go. everytime he visit india some one decease from his family for he is bit of scared about....
     
  4. breeze01

    breeze01 Platinum IL'ite

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    its temporary job... he is not understanding that we dont get that many days vacation..
     
  5. blessed

    blessed Platinum IL'ite

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    This might be one of the reason for him to take long leisure vacations, its high time he got serious in life, no doubt he is thoroughly enjoying his prolonged stay with his cousins and friends and with you not around probably he is trying to go back to his bachelors life at least for a few days.

    You have to involve him in all your family commitments and make him realize how important for him to earn and be serious in life.

    Regarding helping your brother in marriage arrangements I believe it should come within oneself to help them and you cannot force him to involve and help them which will lead to many disagreements and disappointments.
     
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  6. breeze01

    breeze01 Platinum IL'ite

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    thatswhat I am trying him to realize he is in the belief that when he go for vacation all his relatives,friends will be with him all the time which I think is absolutely wrong.. people stay with you maybe one or two days or one week after that they need to get back to their routine right. it might be vacation for us but not for them. he at time points out to me that we don't have good relationship with relatives.. not everyone can have good relation with all relatives... he don't know that we lived in joint family from long time with grandparents,uncles,aunts now that everyone married got their own ways...I guess everyone got their kind of bond with people in the family which he lacks to understands.

    I am not forcing him to go early for my bros wedding I am telling him if you want to go early go head but you coming back with us... if not we all go together and come back together.. hope this time it helps him to make a wise decision... thanks for you suggestion blessed...
     

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