Usless Info but very funny!

Discussion in 'Jokes' started by juhi_sri, Oct 13, 2005.

  1. juhi_sri

    juhi_sri Junior IL'ite

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    [font=Times New Roman, Times, Serif]If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have
    produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.
    (Hardly seems worth it.)

    If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is
    produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.
    (Now that's more like it!)

    The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body
    to squirt blood 30 feet.
    (O.M.G.!)

    A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes.
    (In my next life, I want to be a pig.)

    A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to
    death. (Creepy.)
    (I'm still not over the pig.)

    Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.
    (Do not try this at home...... maybe at work.)

    The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to
    its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head ! off.
    ("Honey, I'm home. What the....?!")

    The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping
    the length of a football field.
    (30 minutes... lucky pig... can you imagine??)

    The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.
    (What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?)

    Some lions mate over 50 times a day.
    (I still want to be a pig in my next life...quality over quantity)

    Butterflies taste with their feet.
    (Something I always wanted to know.)

    The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.
    (Hmmmmmm........)

    Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer
    than left-handed people.
    (If you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference?)

    Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump.
    (OK, so that would be a good thing....)

    A cat's urine glows under a black light.
    (I wonder who was paid to figure that out?)

    An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
    (I know some people like that.)

    Starfish have no brains.
    (I know some people like that too.)

    Polar bears are left-handed.
    (If they switch, they'll live a lot longer.)

    Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.
    (What about that pig??)smile
    [/font]
     
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  2. varalotti

    varalotti Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Absolutely Funny, Juhi

    Totally funny, Juhi. It made me laugh heartily in the office right in the morning (fortunately no one has come yet).
    I have heard parents and elders talking about birds and bees. I think it's high time they switch to lions and pigs. (See I want both quantity and quality)
    ha ha ha ha ha
    sridhar
     
    Last edited: Oct 14, 2005
  3. juhi_sri

    juhi_sri Junior IL'ite

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    everybody is stuck on pig:p
     
  4. Niveditha

    Niveditha New IL'ite

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    That was really funny.
     

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