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Urgent::::pls Solve This Dilemma !!!!!!!!!

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by cur123, May 17, 2019.

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  1. May 17, 2019 #31
    cur123

    cur123 Senior IL'ite

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    i sometimes doubt if mil wants to be in good books of both and thats why she dsnt confront the drama queen ..she just gets off with just a slap on wrist ( i hope i m not being an idiot to understand this ) ..some of my friends cautioned me abt this :sconf:
     
    cur123, May 17, 2019
    cur123, May 17, 2019
    #31
  2. May 17, 2019 #32
    Greenbay

    Greenbay Gold IL'ite

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    Contrary to high marks you give yourself on how you behave like majority of men, just to let you that majority of men don't discuss what their family members did with their friends and then come back and discuss again in forum on what their friends think..

    Before you anoint A as drama queen and yourself as above family drama, please re-read all your posts in this thread. Name calling such as constipated face, drama queen etc don't come across as very mature.
     
    Greenbay, May 17, 2019
    Greenbay, May 17, 2019
    #32
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  3. May 17, 2019 #33
    cur123

    cur123 Senior IL'ite

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    @Greenbay

    FIRST U NEED TO LEARN ABT THE BASIC CONCEPT ON GREAT SITES LIKE INDUSLADIES ...ITS A GREAT FORUM FOR ALL THOSE WHO NEED TO DISCUESS THEIR PROBLEMS ANONYMOUSLY AND GET GREAT ADVICE FROM MATURE EXPERIENCED WOMEN AND MEN .I ASKED FOR ADVICE ON A PARTICULAR SUBJECT AND I GOT GREAT SUPPORT FROM MANY MEMBERS ... I DONT NEED ANY UNSOLICITED ADVICE /FROM PEOPLE LIKE U I DONT GIVE A RAT'S ARSE FOR UNSOLICITED COMMENTERS:roflmao: .U SEEM TO BE ONE OF SUCH CONSTIPATED DRAM QUEEN URSELF :clapclap::clapclap::clapclap::clapclap::clapclap:...AND I M REPORTING U FOR BREAKING THE BASIC RULES OF THE SITE BY BEING DISRESPECTFUL ...GOOD BYE :ciao::ciao:
     
    Last edited: May 17, 2019
    cur123, May 17, 2019
    cur123, May 17, 2019
    #33
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  4. May 17, 2019 #34
    Desiindian

    Desiindian Gold IL'ite

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    In my region, baby shower is arranged and people are invited by PIL. In an ideal situation the brother should have called and given a word do Grace the occasion through phone to you people. Expecting an invitation from cosister is too much knowing her rude behaviour. I won't offer help in the function, just attend and come back. We know chemistry between cosisters, for relatives, oh started, ghar ghar ki kahani.
    The case is different if we are not invited by BiL for their child's naming ceremony, birthday or housewarming function.
     
    Desiindian, May 17, 2019
    Desiindian, May 17, 2019
    #34
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  5. May 17, 2019 #35
    cur123

    cur123 Senior IL'ite

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    fantastic reply :clap2::clap2::clap2::clap2: thanks a lot dear
     
    cur123, May 17, 2019
    cur123, May 17, 2019
    #35
  6. May 17, 2019 #36
    yellowmango

    yellowmango IL Hall of Fame

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    A lives in pils house.
    It is the in laws home first.
    They are hosting the ceremony.
    They have invited B and husband.
    B has a good thing going with inlaws.....seperate set up and still in good books of inlaws.

    Agree with Rihana....B and husband should go and stay for sometime and then leave. No need to help around ...just go as guest.



    As for A ,I doubt her relations with in laws is so one sided.
    It is possible the mil enjoys the complete freedom to run her house with no interference from dil .
    She gets to have her kingdom to herself the whole day,her son and dil stay with her....and now she will have a grandchild who will be in her care the whole day.Some women like such an arrangement ,hence tolerates her behavior.
     
    yellowmango, May 17, 2019
    yellowmango, May 17, 2019
    #36
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  7. May 17, 2019 #37
    cur123

    cur123 Senior IL'ite

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    another great input ....:thumbup:
     
    cur123, May 17, 2019
    cur123, May 17, 2019
    #37
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  8. May 17, 2019 #38
    friendabc

    friendabc Silver IL'ite

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    MADAM, THIS FORUM IS FOR ADVICE NOT FOR ABUSE/INSULTS . WHY ARE YOU HERE ?? TO MAKE PEOPLE UNCOMFORTABLE BY POSTING SUCH INSULTING COMMENT??? U R NO MAN . U SEEM TO BE THE EXACT TYPE OF FEMALE CUR IS TALKING ABOUT. IVE BASHED MANY ABUSER IN INDUSLADIES AND IVE ALSO REPORTED U . I THINK ALL COMMENTERS SHD DO THIS AND STOP SUCH ABUSIVE COMMENTERS. LEARN TO FOLLOW RULES OF THE FORUM.
     
    friendabc, May 17, 2019
    friendabc, May 17, 2019
    #38
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  9. May 17, 2019 #39
    Viswamitra

    Viswamitra Finest Post Winner

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    There is no personal differences between A and B. In general, A behaves in that way with almost everybody. This is confirmed by A's parents. How can she be different with MIL? She doesn't care whether she gives her house for her husband and her to live. She considers that as her right.

    Why does MIL need permission of A to be a Queen in her own house and why that should be considered as a favor done by A?

    In my view, A's behavior needs to be fixed by the in-laws as her parents have already given up on A. If she doesn't mend her ways, she needs to be shown her place to move out and live on her own. By tolerating this behavior by A, MIL is widening the gap between A's husband and B's husband, two of her precious adult children.

    That is my view.
     
    Viswamitra, May 17, 2019
    Viswamitra, May 17, 2019
    #39
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  10. May 18, 2019 #40
    Rihana

    Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Were you there when A's parents told your in-laws this about their daughter? If not, who told you all this? Your MIL?

    I find it odd that in-laws complain about DIL to her parents like she is a product and not meeting seller's description. And even odder that parents talk like this about their daughter.

    Who gives a feather about future generation and A's future attitude?

    Keep it simple. It is a baby-shower. Purpose is to bless or give good wishes to a mother-to-be. Go and do that to the best of your ability and as allowed by the function's circumstances. If God forbid something goes wrong for the mother-to-be, blame can come on those who skipped the function. If God forbid something happens to MIL or FIL, there will be a lifetime feeling of guilt that one of their rather simple last wishes was not fulfilled.

    I don't know how it works in other families. Among my relatives and my in-laws, for functions like this one all show up and mark attendance. There will be side-shows of "No one welcomed me, no one is asking me to eat more, I was called last to bless the mom-to-be.... I have to go I took 2 hrs permission only from office....", and reluctant guests will wear less jewelry, simple saree, home chappals, not do up hair properly, give only Rs 100 instead of 500... : ) but all family who can make it, come to the function.
     
    Last edited: May 18, 2019
    Rihana, May 18, 2019
    Rihana, May 18, 2019
    #40
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