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Urgent::::pls Solve This Dilemma !!!!!!!!!

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by cur123, May 17, 2019.

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  1. cur123

    cur123 Senior IL'ite

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    preface- there r two sister in laws . A and B ..MIL AND FIL live with A and A is not of talking terms with fil /B/ B'S HUSBAND
    A talks with mil only because mil does whatever she wantS ... she dsnt talk with"B" (THE OTHER SIL) ..now A is pregnant and there is some function .mil and fil want B to come so that B can meet all relatives .but A has not invited or asked or shown any interest. in fact whenever B visits her (to meet fil and mil ) A dsnt even say hello and dsnt like it .many times mil persuaded B to take the high road and talk to A ...so B said 'hello how r u" but she snubbed , made face and went to her room and banged the door shut .afte many such rebuffs B thinks she shdnt go . DO U AGREE WITH HER ????? ANYONE WITH EXPERIENCE ...PLS SOLVE THIS . THANKS IN ADVANCE. (pls ignore mistakes if any ..writing in a hurry)
     
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  2. Anamika99

    Anamika99 Gold IL'ite

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    very cryptic write up.. hard to help.

    I am assuming you are B

    and when you say A and B are SIL, as in co-sis...two brothers' wives?

    If above is true...

    1) A did not behave well with B so B should not go but
    2) This does not tell how B's relations are with PILs....if PILs treating B well, then can go on the sake of PILs
    3) How is B's hubby? has he kept up with B's family then B should go for the sake of hubby if hubby wants her to
     
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  3. Desiindian

    Desiindian Silver IL'ite

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    If I were B and only PIL invited, I will just show up in the function and leave early pretending to attend another important work( makeup like client meeting or appt in govt off,). Inform PIL ahead about my short presence. Won't talk to A unless she shows some warmth during the function. Just talk to relatives and PIL and come back.
     
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  4. cur123

    cur123 Senior IL'ite

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  5. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan Finest Post Winner

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    :hello:It is interesting to read such squabble.
    2. OP desires to know “Do I Agree With Her”.
    3. Mil coxed B to talk to A But latter shut the door on B ‘s face. That was before A was pregnant. A did this type of snubbing B many times in the past prior to her pregnancy.
    4. Ok then I wonder what is to agree or dis agree?
    5. Mil desires but A - HAD NOT invited B for the function now.
    6. Then what am to agree or disagree?
    7. I presume the enigmatic query ought to be that with past bitter experience should B attend now A’s “baby shower”?
    A would be the main cynosure of the function, and assuming there would be gathering of relatives and B interested in meeting them at the function venue, I surmise there wouldn’t be any problem at all and that way her attendance would be appreciated by Mil and the possibility of bitterness between A & others
    Disappears paving way for family union.
    Thanks and Regards
    God has willed motherhood in pipeline to be celebrated.
     
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  6. messedup

    messedup Gold IL'ite

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    I don't know the reality but I assume that A feels jealous of B as she do not have to look after to ILS and living a free life. She cannot show her anger with words due to some reasons so she behave like that. If this is true then B should try to invite ILS to her place regularly to stay for sometime as much as possible. Don't know if it is something else.
     
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  7. cur123

    cur123 Senior IL'ite

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    nothing to do with jealousy ...or at least it should not be abt. jealousy because B hs bn living in her own house since the first day (bought by herself ) whereas A hs bn living in her PIL's house since day ..MIL SAID THAT its A's choice to live with PIL because A goes to office at 8 and comes around 8pm so all the work is done by MIL ...actually she is like that with PIL AND MOST relatives. she lives with PIL for comfort and dsnt want any relatives to visit because she dsnt like .even B dsnt want to visit but thinking abt it due to constant insistence of PIL
     
  8. cur123

    cur123 Senior IL'ite

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    @Thyagarajan

    It is interesting to read such squabble.
    2. OP desires to know “Do I Agree With Her”.
    3. Mil coxed B to talk to A But latter shut the door on B ‘s face. That was before A was pregnant. A did this type of snubbing B many times in the past prior to her pregnancy. [/QUOTE]

    --YA snubbing is going on since day 1 ...for every visit (whenever she is present)


    4. Ok then I wonder what is to agree or dis agree?

    ---whether to go to her function or not

    5. Mil desires but A - HAD NOT invited B for the function now.
    6. Then what am to agree or disagree?
    7. I presume the enigmatic query ought to be that with past bitter experience should B attend now A’s “baby shower”?
    ----- not only due to past experience alone but without A's (or her husbands's) invitation .i dont know if anybody has face such situation !!!:grin::grin:

    A would be the main cynosure of the function, and assuming there would be gathering of relatives and B interested in meeting them at the function venue, I surmise there wouldn’t be any problem at all and that way her attendance would be appreciated by Mil and the possibility of bitterness between A & others
    Disappears paving way for family union.
    -------there is zero chances of that because its A' s nature to find faults, she ds that with almost all the relatives . according to one relative when she visited A ....she complained that "why did u sit in MIL'S ROOM?? u must be talking ill about me " there r many such incidents .
    (on 2nd thoughts ..shdnt hv written cryptically:facepalm: ) but i m new to the site ..sorry for the messup
    ty.
     
  9. Viswamitra

    Viswamitra IL Hall of Fame

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    It is A's function and she is the one who decides who she is inviting. If I were B, I wouldn't go unless invited and tell relatives that I was not invited. Why play games? Just be yourself and don't go to a place where you and your husband are not welcome.

    Viswa
     
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  10. cur123

    cur123 Senior IL'ite

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    ty....i m ending the cryptic format cuz its annoying:BangHead: ... sorry abt that ...ya ...i totally agree but feeling very sad for PIL ...i hope it wont be their insult or something ...(actually in my entire life ive never faces any family politics cuz we lived far from relatives ..so i dont know how to tackle such type of complex ppl or such complex messy stiuations created by them) . pls guide me abt PIL 's feelings ...i like them a lot and dont want them to feel sad .
     
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