Urgent Please... Guidance Required

Hi ladies
Hi ladies

Please guide me through the following situation

Recently i am in India and at my mother's place. Husband left for USA.
My side two cousins were getting married so my in laws were invited over the phone by my both uncles whose sons were getting married and by my father also over the phone and my uncles send the invitation card also.
Then my in laws told me over the phone to send the shagun 1100 rs to both..
When mil asked later that did i sent or not i told her as i was nt having money( In form of cash after demonization.. M using online payment method) so i told my father to give..
She became super angry and started bla blaa y y y u r nt havina and after all bla bla she kept phone by saying bye.

Now they are also having marriage my in laws side. They dint invite my parents. But today all of sudden my fil msgd my father that we are going on marriage and day after tomorrow marriage is there and u also join. My father told him on msg that in such short notice we can't come.

I told my father not to say for shagun due to following reasons
1. marriage is fixed since a month
Y inviting now day before
2. Y not his uncle my husband's uncle who is having marriage at his home calling as my uncle always called dem.
It's mere a sign of respect.

3. Even my fil is saying on msg wheres my father also called for inviting. And today before fil send msg to my father he had a phone comersation regarding normal well being of me n my baby. But he still dint told me anything and dint said he wanted to talk to my dad

So after this i told my father not to say ab shagun as we are not invited properly.
My mil is super duper cunning and fil dances on her tunes. I know she had done this last minute calling plans for marriage. As she wants me to say her now to put shagun that i ll never do..

Moreover she tells her son thats my husband everything on the phone that we hve told ab shagun 1100 for my uncle's son marriage. And every minute details
So now please guide
How to tell my husband over the phone that we are not sending shagun dis time as its not ab 1100 rs its about respet and inviting properly. I wnaa tell him before my mil says anything so how to say so that me and my parents looks right in my husband's eyes also.

Second i am fuly drenched for my mil as of above two incidnets recently and many more so how to tell her that she had done wrong by not inviting properly.and moreover two tell her that she cant shou at me in future as i am not going to Take.

Please guide
Tia