Urgent : Has anybody been through a DV case in California

SriVidya,

I don't understand what your talking about. You are neither an attorney nor know what the field of law is? Attorney's have one responbility and that is to protect their client with the law. Attorney's will give you OPTIONS, all of them not just the ones you are ready to hear, and you as an adult can choose which one to go to. YOu aren't required to file a divorce, you can try to reconcile your relationship as well. For each time he hit you, you should be able to kick him anywhere on his body?

 

I totally understand what you are saying!!! but my thoughts or posts never said live with him and take abuse..(did I say that anywhere in the posts??)

what I was saying ??? to be safe and get clear calm mind and then make decision...(yes we all are suggesting!! you me and everyone...and we are brainstorming ...so no need to get all workedup and angry n frustrated...)

As an experienced person practising law, you can help us in many ways by suggesting whats n whys of several things...(but just because diff. people have diff. approach doesnt mean that they may be wrong!!) or that they are not following law..

so lets just brainstorm on what may/may not happen/ possible and leave it there....leave it to Kaavya..

 

I dont think abcdguy was asking OP to go for a divorce, he only suggested some resources if OP was considering Divorce. Am I right abcdguy?
Kavya, i hope you are ok and things are calming down. Please stay strong and take care of yourself and your son! My prayers are with you.

 

abcdguy,I am not a lawyer. But I have been in a situation where I called 911 against my husband. I never said that TPO is not given in all divorce cases. I only mentioned its given in DV cases for a few days.Look closely DV not divorce. I never mentioned anything about post divorce property in my post. Look closely before mentioning A to Z.I dont cross the line to such delicate matters in person much less in a public forum.

Refrain from insinuating what I mean from my posts. If I mean something ,I will post it not indicate it.

 

This is really nice to have more professionals on ground here in ILs. Indeed whoever come to this forum to seek advice/suggestions are the victims/survivors of sexual and/or gender based violence. As remedy, the forum need professionals in the field of Security (Cops etc...), Legal, Medical and Psycho social support (Not all the cases require psycho social supports, but a reasonable supportive counselling would do a miracle depend on the weight of the case).

IMO, appreciated if we all could allow the professionals to post their opinions, suggestions and options freely and let the OP to deal with it.

We better stick to provide advises based on our opinion, but please not to intefer too much and divert the thread to justify and clarify our one on one talks. I am sure the OP (kaavya) is already tensed and confused just like any other victim on DV, so she might not get enough courage and time to read and understand each posts and justifications. In this, sometimes she might overlook the most important professional advice due to so much repeated and diverted personalized justifications.

I cant expect such professionalism in an open forum though, but still I suggest this as i want this forum to be a wonderful platform of support for all the Indian women who are in problematic life

 

Tugga,

I agree. I have no problem providing any legal advice to anyone that is having domestic violence issues.

ABCDGUY

 

Hi Kavya,

First of all let me tell you, You DID the RIGHT thing by calling 911.

I have gone through the same thing myself and got good suggestions from friends in this forum. I agree with SV and Chocolate, Please do not make any decisions for divorce now. Take your time.

I called 911 when I got beaten up by my husband (my MIL provoked him), but after that I feel much stronger, he sent my MIL back and he is behaving well with me. We still live with each other and at time he tries to make me feel guilty by saying I sent him to jail, I stand my ground and tell him, I would not have if you had behaved yourself and not beating your wife.

Do not feel guilty, I can relate to what you must be going through now.
Keep yourself strong and be with your kid. If needed stay away from your husband. In my case I did not, he came back home (as I knew it was not dangerous to live with him) and we went to court together for proceedings.

If he is convicted he will be asked to go for batterers class. Its better if he takes it. In laws will of course get mad and suggest for divorce, what not, dont pay heed. Keep yourself strong and dont even talk to them now. Both of you must be filled with emotions and cannot think clearly now.

In my case my MIL still brainwashes him, asks him to leave me and my kid and he should go back to India and marry his mama's daughter blah..blah.. but i just ignore all those conversations.

I see whether he is fine with me and my kid and I dont even talk to my MIL. I take it like, this is a test of my marriage, if it stands strong against this it will survive.

I have not read your earlier posts, I do not know much about you, neither am I suggesting to live in an abusive relationship. You are the only person who knows your husband whether it is safe for you and your kid to live with him or not. I am giving this suggestion based on what I went through and what I am doing for it now.

-L

 

Kavya, I am very late poster, but just wanted to voice my thoughts, so that whenever you read it, you might read mine as well. S T A Y S T R O N G. Always believe your instinct and follow your heart. Get advise, details from professionals around and make your decision. Take care of yourself and your son. My prayers are with you.

People if I may, please stop giving free legal advises when you are no where near the radar of LAW. Be there and give all the support, comfort, but in such serious situations, it is best professionals take the job of guiding the person involved.

We give lots of advises around in this forum, but situations are different. This is life threatening and also a child involved. So please for goodness sake, stop throwing advises around. Especially when the victim is too low, it will be very confusing for her. Hope you understand. Thanks !!!!

 

I've been reading your previous posts too Kavya. Looks like this is an ongoing issue. Stay firm and do not give in to blaming yourself. You did the right thing by reporting the incident. High time he paid some price for his behavior. This cd turn out to be a turning point for him. Hold on, you did the right thing.