Urgent : Has anybody been through a DV case in California

Discussion in 'General Discussions' started by kavya007, Feb 5, 2012.

  1. kavya007

    kavya007 Silver IL'ite

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    Hi Ladies,

    Two days back my husband assaulted me very badly. I ended up calling 911 because I started to fear for my life and safety. I was in a very bad state and I told the cops all that happened. My husband was arrested and taken to jail because I had bruise marks. Some of our close friends rushed to our help as well. Fortunately some family friends came and bailed him out immediately. They helped him get a lawyer. The cops have filed a felony charge on him and he has an initial hearing date on Feb 7th. The district attorney is supposed to decide whether his case is a felony, misdemanour or wobbler based on my report on the date of the assault. I have no part in this and the case is now my husband vs State of California.

    I have no regrets about calling 911 because I feared for my life and by doing that I averted a major crime. I was not in a position to drive and get away from the house. But I feel disturbed about the felony charge as it is an extremely serious issue. I feel sorry that my son is going to lose a good dad and it hurts me to know that his dad might be incarcerated. Ladies if any of you have been through a DV case in California can you please elaborate on the due process. Your help is greatly appreciated. I have not yet got a lawyer. Do I need to get a lawyer too ?

    Kavya.
     
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  2. disillusion

    disillusion Senior IL'ite

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    Dear Kavya, I have not been through DV case in California, but I thought I will respond to your post immediately.You have done the right thing and you should have no regrets. In the coming days many people will talk to you and try to change your mind, your husband will even try to make you feel sorry for him. Stay strong and firm. I can assure you, your husband only thinks about himself and was certainly not thinking about you when he was beat ing you up. This will be an emotional time for you so once again stay strong and firm. Contact a DV assistance from a shelter. There are many in California. I also had these kind of thoughts how can I send my child's father to jail believe me its for the best
     
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  3. chocolate

    chocolate Platinum IL'ite

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    Kavya, Buckle up. You dont need a lawyer. The court will appoint a lawyer for you.I am sorry to say your husband is not a good dad if he is beating you up and your kid sees you in that state.According to what you said he needs a very hard hitting attorney to get him thru this. What was his response after the arrest? Was he remorseful? Its not how you feel which is important, but how is he after this incident.What is the point of him coming back if he is in same mindset. Go to the court.See how is . Then decide. Good Luck.
     
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  4. Coffeelover

    Coffeelover Platinum IL'ite

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    Take care of yourself. Court will take care of you. Don't feel sorry for him. If he si a good father, he wouldn't have hit you . Where ar eyou? There ar eso many Desi organizations ( Domestic Violence) in California. One is Narika in Oakland, CA. I knwo that they have helped lots of people. Call them. Your life si important not only for you,, for your kid.
    Good luck
     
  5. blackbeauty84

    blackbeauty84 IL Hall of Fame

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    I just came to come and say yes you did the right thing given the circumstances. Sorry i don't have nay suggestions to offer. Stay Strong.
     
  6. abcdguy

    abcdguy Silver IL'ite

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    Kavya,

    I am a lawyer in the United States and am licensed to practice in Illinois. I am not giving you legal advice, and I am also NOT your lawyer, so all information given should not be considered establishing any sort of attorney/client privilege.


    Due Process in the United State happens in a time-line system. The Police and the State of California filed charged against your husband. Your husband will soon appear in court and will either confess his guilt or ask to be given a TRIAL date. If he chooses a TRIAL date, he will get the option of either a jury or judge trial. In either case he is pretty much going to loose :). The state of California will try the case and you really don't have any involvement in this process. Sit back and Relax while your husband learns what it feels like to be beaten in jail (hopefully).

    Here are things that I want you to do:

    1. File a Temporary Restraining Order/Restraining Order against your Husband. He might try to Hurt you.

    2. Contact a Battered Women's shelter. There are many in California, they have access to a lot of FREE services that might help you.

    3. Contact the California Bar Assocation, chances are there are many free legal services available (like a Lawyer) that you can get to DIVORCE your husband if that is an option.

    If you need any help Private Message me.

    ABCDGUY



     
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  7. SriVidya75

    SriVidya75 Platinum IL'ite

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    Sir

    Am soooooooooo glad that we have a member who is practising law here in US...you are so much help to all of us forum members here...Thanks again and pls do visit our site regularly.....we all greatly appreciate your help and suggestions here...


    Just couple of questions from my side...

    As much as I understand about restraining order, why are we guessing that he will come back to hurt her? or is it a mandatory thing that after his arrest , the spouse has to file for restraining order (or its given automatically)

    Next, she has a home...why she has to go to womens shelter? she is financially independant and has a kid...what is the use of contacting womens shelter here?

    Last but MOST IMP...why FILE for divorce?? is it that if a wife calls cops /911, that marriage ends up in divorce by default???
     
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  8. abcdguy

    abcdguy Silver IL'ite

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    Its my pleasure. I might disagree on certain issues with a lot of the people on this forum, but when I will always defend anyone that is being abused. No man should every touch a women!

    1. A restraining Order is used as a protective measure so the husband can and will have to keep his distance from his wife. The husband has already shown an abusive and dangerous behavior. I want to make sure he never approaches his wife again, to intimidate or otherwise.

    2. Many battered women's shelters the ability to house a women and their child. This will be rough, but to protect the safety of the women and child is paramount

    3. No a divorce is not automatic. Its another legal process. She will have to file a divorce independently.

    ABCDGUY




     
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  9. SriVidya75

    SriVidya75 Platinum IL'ite

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    My question was you suggested filing for a divorce...thats why was wondering...why file for divorce? are we assuming husband would eventually do it after this arrest? or is it because there is no hope in him changing?
     
  10. abcdguy

    abcdguy Silver IL'ite

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    I would file a divorce because I think the husband would do this again. I don't think another chance should be given personally, but that is a personal choice.
     
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