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Untold!

Discussion in 'Poetry' started by rgsrinivasan, Aug 19, 2014.

  1. rgsrinivasan

    rgsrinivasan IL Hall of Fame

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    Somewhere along the shores of the Nile,
    There lived this man for quite a while.
    He had no great qualities, nor style,
    And there exists no personal file.

    All he did was to spend his life
    With his herd of goats. Thats all.
    "How can one live just such a life?",
    You may wonder. But thats just your call.

    He woke up before the sun came up
    And walked longer with his 'children'.
    Till they were fed, he didn't look up
    To nod or speak to his brethren.

    His language was understood by those
    Animals and he understood them too.
    That was enough and all their prose
    Was less than just twenty words, true.

    Its only when one of those died
    That he felt something odd after all.
    He gave the rest of them and lied
    Down, as though he had a fall.

    Then he went and searched for his
    Dead goat in all the places they
    Went and could not find it. This
    Made him adamant day by day.

    He went and went and searched in new
    Places, eating whatever he could find.
    Yet he did not find it, but came the dew
    Indicating change of seasons fine.

    His clothes were torn,
    His words became one.
    He looked so thin and worn
    That he would soon be none.

    Finally he saw his goat
    One day as he woke up when
    Icy breeze blew like a harsh flute
    And he could not believe that thing.

    Tears fell down his cheeks
    And he knelt before it then.
    What will you do if what you seek
    For long, comes before you then?

    It saw him with unwavering eyes.
    It felt like it was smiling at him.
    He followed it across mountains high.
    Now there is no trace of him.

    When you become what you seek,
    Nothing more is required. Right?
    He just reached that state to peak
    As someone who showed the light.
     
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  2. Ramya04

    Ramya04 Bronze IL'ite

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    very beautifully written Sir. Especially liked this line When you become what you seek,
    Nothing more is required. :)
     
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  3. rgsrinivasan

    rgsrinivasan IL Hall of Fame

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    Thanks Ramya04, for reviving this thread with your feedback. This took me quite sometime to write, where I wrote the last paragraph first and tried building the context for it. Enjoyed that wrenching exercise and added many subtle things between lines. Happy to receive the first feedback and likes too. -rgs
     
  4. kishoreg

    kishoreg Gold IL'ite

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    Atlast he found himself!
    Good one rgs :)
     
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  5. rgsrinivasan

    rgsrinivasan IL Hall of Fame

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    Thanks KishoreG, for your feedback.
    This is something that I loved to write. -rgs
     
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  6. Scorpio707

    Scorpio707 Platinum IL'ite

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    RGS...such a nice poem...really enjoyed reading it...I almost thought this to be the story of Moses from the bible :) so nicely written...esp the last 4 lines :thumbsup
     
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  7. rgsrinivasan

    rgsrinivasan IL Hall of Fame

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    Thanks Scorpio, for your appreciation and a nice feedback. I didn't keep Moses in mind while writing this. But the relevance is nice to look at. -rgs
     

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