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Unhappy Happiness Of Miserably Contented People

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by SCSusila, Jun 13, 2017.

  1. SCSusila

    SCSusila Bronze IL'ite

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    @PushpavalliSrinivasan
    Thank you very much for sharing your thoughts .
    Very correctly said : it depends on each ones mindset .
    We can be free withnear and dears and tell them about our health complaints ( if they are ready to listen ) . But only some people make it the main topic of all their conversations , then it becomes a bit tiring for the listener .
    I like your attitude of not telling about health problems to others as long as we are able to manage by ourselves .
    After all, the term we use is is " Udambu sariyillai " and not " Naan sariyillai " .
     
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  2. SCSusila

    SCSusila Bronze IL'ite

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    @jayasala42 :
    Thank you for giving your thoughts .
    Theymay be doing it fir getting sympathy or attention poor things . So if we give them that they are Happy . So their miserable ness is making them happy !
    " your shoe or my shoe " hahaha goid joke !
     
  3. SCSusila

    SCSusila Bronze IL'ite

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    @sindmani
    Thank you for your feedback.
    If they arefamilymembers or friends , we have to give them a patient hearing and a few encouraging words , hoping they will feel better . Or if they are close , we can even tell them to develop a better attitude than simply complaining .
    But taking on their health complaints on our heads is not not so good . Then they will be happy and we will be miserable !!
     
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  4. satchitananda

    satchitananda Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    That was a good laugh Susila. I suddenly realized I probably complain too much too! But then I follow the maxim : Ya dil ki suno duniya waalon, Ya mujh ko abhi chup rahane do, main gham ko khusi kaise keh doon, jo kehte hain unko kehne do!" Now I better be careful before I become a crabby, cribby old woman.

    Good question. Are such people happy to be unhappy? Maybe they are bored of not having any unhappiness and actively seek it? Or they are just venting? Or see it as another topic of conversation like the weather? After all, their problems also keep changing like the weather.

    Are such people in search of attention? Well, might be. It takes all types to make the world, doesn't it?

    The episode in the hotel room was hilarious. The worry seekers. We used to always tease my mom saying she would worry that there was nothing to worry about, but it was not about herself. It was always about others.

    I find the question many people ask docs "Doctor, is it anything to worry about?" I always wonder what they expect the doc to answer. "Yes, of course. Please worry about it 3 times a day for 5 minutes each time. It will relieve you / your dear one of the problem".

    Oh dear! What do we do with them what do we do without them? I mean worries and worriers.
     
  5. sindmani

    sindmani Gold IL'ite

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    Please try to divert the topic because I can understand. Some people will go on even if we divert. Close ur arms , so that u will feel confident, when they complain. Be patient and naturally divert the topic maybe by saying that person Mr A too had same health issue but now he is totally fine. If we talk ALWAYS positive at least they will stop complaining to us. I will tell u a secret some people come to me to only tell their problems . even I can't figure out. Now I seriously don't have time now for all that . I need my peace too.
     
  6. SCSusila

    SCSusila Bronze IL'ite

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    @satchitananda ,
    Thank you very much for the comment.
    What do we do with them , what do we do without them ...very true. While worries add some colour to life , worriers add variety . If everyone was happy , contented , talking positive etc , it would soon become boring .
    It is something like this . OneTV mega serial producer / director wasasked why they are making life miserable for all the women characters like their whole life is filled to top with only tragedy , sudden twists , accidents , oppression , depression etc etc. And the man replied : " if i show only hapyy-happy families smiling, eating and sleeping peacefully seven days a week , will you see my serial ? "

    ( just want to add : i dont know hindi very much , sorry , so could not understand properly, the quote you gave )
     
  7. SCSusila

    SCSusila Bronze IL'ite

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    @sindmani
    Yes, we have to draw the line somewhere even if we are sympathetic.
    :)
     
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  8. ojaantrik

    ojaantrik Finest Post Winner

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    Dear SCS,

    I really enjoyed the logic you have employed. There is an expression economic theorists use for it. They call it revealed preference. Simply put, if you are a logical person doing something instead of doing other doable things, then it means that you prefer doing whatever you are doing, instead of doing other things. You are revealing your choice and the assumption is that you choose what pleases you most. Call it happiness if you will.

    Interestingly enough, this simple principle has now been questioned by people who work on the boundary of economics and psychology. This branch of the subject is called Behavioural Economics and lots of young people work in the area these days. I have an American friend, Richard Thaler, from my PhD days, who has made quite a name for himself in this subject. Rumour has it that he had even been shortlisted for the Nobel Prize in Economics and missed it by the skin of his teeth. Not long ago, he sent me one of his books called Misbehaving. It contains examples of the sort of happiness you drew our attention to. Behavioural economists though do not agree that you are exercising rational choice. They simply say that people are not naturally rational.

    I think I need to read the book carefully. I am not able to put down my thoughts too clearly right now.

    Cheers.

    oj
     
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  9. Viswamitra

    Viswamitra IL Hall of Fame

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    @SCSusila,

    Depending on the mental make-up of each individual, they interact with the fellow beings. It could be to express truth in their words. It could be to avoid anyone else thinking that they are doing well. It could be a habit of merely analyzing the health to the micro level. It could be to gain sympathy from the fellow-beings. It could be a cry for help. It could be their way of handling their health issues with equanimity by talking about it. It is difficult to judge.

    Viswa
     
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  10. shyamala1234

    shyamala1234 Platinum IL'ite

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