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Unhappy Happiness Of Miserably Contented People

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by SCSusila, Jun 13, 2017.

  1. SCSusila

    SCSusila Bronze IL'ite

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    " I have WS-t for so long that I begin to worry now at the slightest sign that I am not worrying!!"

    This was Ojantrik's response to my response to his jolly post about a not very jolly experience with howling medical professionals.

    His statement looks very much like what we can find in the funny books by Dr.Seuss which my grandchild reads . But Ojaantrik is not kidding like Seuss , I think , but is very honest about his personality trait .
    And I believe him. Because I have met people with same trait in flesh and blood too.

    When someone greets you with the standard question ," How are you ? " what will most people usually say ?
    The standard reply is " I am fine, thank you ".
    But I know two people who will take that question very seriously and start giving very minutely detailed description of how they are . Their aches, pains , difficulties ( especially in the Bowel Movement) , upsets , distresses , agonies etc they suffered on that day and yesterday .

    One of them is a Senior Citizen and has the usual health problems like Diabetes , BP and joint pains , so her medical bulletin will be longer and more colourful . By the time she finishes her answer to my "How are you ? " I will be needing Tiger Balm . But she will be looking very happy as though she has just given me some good news like she had won a bumper lottery .

    With all that loads of misery , these two people will still be keeping busy , going out, cinema-drama-concert , visits , shopping , quite well and happily also . And I will be wondering how anyone with so much problems can be so cheerful . May be they are very philosophical , positive-minded ? Or, are they just lying about their miseries ?
    No , they are just created like that . I call them Worry Seekers . They love collecting worries like I love collecting souvenirs. And being Miserable makes them Happy !
    I will give one very recent example . I went on a conducted tour with The Senior Citizen ( mentioned above) , and we shared hotel rooms. So first morning , I asked her , for politeness : " Did you sleep well ? " I expected a long list of complaints like sprained neck, too high AC , upset tummy from useless dinner etc.
    She said " Yes . I slept very well . Deep sleep "
    I wondered, what miracle is this !
    But she continued : " It is very unusual . I usually get up twice at night , or I get leg cramps . I always sleep light and wake up early . But last night I slept soundly , like a baby ......perhaps I should get tested for Sleeping Sickness . I went to Nairobi two years ago you know , maybe the TseTse fly had bitten me....Or maybe my blood oxygen level has fallen very low .......do you think any tumors in brain can create a blackout ? ....." etc etc.
    Now I got totally confused . Are people supposed to be Happy or Unhappy if they sleep well ?

    I really dont know how to handle these people . After their full report of their miseries , if I say " Ayyo , so sad , take care , did you see a specialist ? " etc , they get fully charged and will energetically start a fresh bulletin about the clinic visit . Starting with the calamity of the cancelled Ola Cab , the agony of back pain due to Auto ride in heavy traffic , the misery of the long que in the Clinic with no place to sit , going hungry because the canteen food was rotten , consequent giddiness, sour-tongue , acidity. All this is only preface . I will not make you run to get your Tiger Balm by narrating the full bulletin . I will only say , if I show sympathy , their natural miserable condition becomes rabid . And they become Miserably Happy .

    If I dont show sympathy and just nod after their full report , they will take big offense that I hurt their feelings by not caring . And I know that will also make them happy because they can add my rudeness to their " mental agony " list when somebody else asks them " how are you " .

    But one thing I can say in favour of their peculiar personality . They can always be Happy , because Misery makes them Happy and misery is not very hard to find in life , isnt it !
    People like us who try very hard to avoid pain and miserable feelings cannot be so assured of a continuous supply of Happiness !
     
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  2. ojaantrik

    ojaantrik Finest Post Winner

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    Dear SCSusila,

    Since you say I had influenced you to write this, I need to express my opinion on this list. First, I feel honored to be recognized as a source

    Dear SCSusila,

    Since you say I had influenced you to write this, I need to express my opinion on it. I feel honored to be recognized as the source of influence. I think Satchi said something similar too not so long ago. I can't remember ever influencing any other people in the past, present or future. I mean I am not worried. Pretty happy actually.

    Coming back to your post, I am wondering if these nagging individuals you describe are "happy" after all. I am not sure if they are unhappy either. They belong perhaps to a penumbra zone separating happiness and unhappiness. A typical conversation with them could follow along the following lines.
    ______________
    How are you today Sir?
    Are you asking about me?
    Yes, of course Sir, there is no one else around, except for roaming cows.
    Exactly and you still wish to know how I am? After insinuating that I belong to a herd of lost cows.
    But I didn't suggest you were a lost cow Sir. I only wished to know how you are doing. What's wrong in that?
    You wish to know what's wrong? Didn't you mention that there were no others around except for the roaming cows?
    I did but I just inquired after you!
    See? Didn't I ask you?
    What did you ask me Sir?
    I asked you if you were asking about me. You care so little about me that you don't even remember what I asked you.
    Yes, you did Sir. And I do remember. My reaction was that I was inquiring only after you and not after cows.
    Why don't you want to know about them?
    About whom?
    The ones who are not around.
    But they are not around! Why should I ask about them?
    Because I am the only one around and they aren't.
    You are not even interested to know what happened to them.
    What happened to whom?
    The ones who are not around.
    But they aren't around?
    And you are not even sorry for me. Instead you ask me painful questions.
    Painful questions? But I just asked you how you were today?
    Exactly, but you ignored the ones who are not around. And brought in cows, which too have disappeared now.
    But I don't even know them. I mean the non-cows who are non-present. Why should I ask about them?
    See, see ... you care so little ... about me and still ask how I am.
    You mean I should ask you about non-present non-cows in order show that I care for you?
    You are so insensitive. I am amazed.
    I am insensitive because I didn't ask you about those who are not around. OK, how are they?
    How are who? The cows or the non-cows?
    All those who are not around?
    Now you are pulling my leg.
    How, I don't see!
    You are asking me about those who never even cared to be around. How can I possibly know about those who are not around?
    But you just said ...
    I just said what?
    I am not sure ...
    I knew from the beginning that you didn't mean what you said.
    How could I not have meant what I had said? I just said ...
    You said you were not sure what you said.
    No! I said I wasn't sure what you said.
    Look, who is you?
    I am confused.
    And despite your confusion you say what you said?
    What did I say?
    How should I know? It was you who said what you said. And this is the world I live in, he sighs like the mock title.
    ______
    As I said SCSusila, I don't know if he is happy to be unhappy.

    oj
     
  3. Agatha83

    Agatha83 Finest Post Winner

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    Dear SCS,

    In our family we have 3 senior citizens, which includes me, my DH and my 86 year old mother. If there is any visitor to my house to enquire about my mother, my mom will pour out all her woes, including her non performing bowels, sleepless nights, etc etc. When I step in to the conversation, I have nothing else but repeat the same ordeals we go through daily, including the non availability of attenders to help my mom and my failing health. I am sure the guest must be waiting for an opportunity to say- escape! Still I go to concerts, temples, take long walks to retain my sanity! Am I happy or miserable or both!

    Agatha83
     
  4. PushpavalliSrinivasan

    PushpavalliSrinivasan IL Hall of Fame

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    @SCSusila
    Dear SCS,
    If people find happiness in miseries let them be happy with their miseries.
    In our house my hubby and self both are octogenarians. Barely any visitors except our daughter who is staying nearby in her own house and we in our rented house. As both our sons are in far off places my daughter and sons wanted us to stay near her so that she could help us in case of an emergency.
    If any of our friends or relatives call by phone and ask us how we were doing, we used to tell them we both were doing fine and managing everything on our own without any help.
    Being active we feel healthy and happy. Of course we do have our health problems like BP and Heart problem and under medication.
    It depends on the mindset of people how to live their life.
    PS
     
  5. ojaantrik

    ojaantrik Finest Post Winner

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    @Agatha83

    Since some of us have begun to influence one another recently, I thought I should also be influenced / inspired and came up with a limerick, which I dedicate to you. I tried to follow the Edward Lear structure. Not that I could reach his height.

    oj
     
    Last edited: Jun 15, 2017
  6. Agatha83

    Agatha83 Finest Post Winner

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    Dear oja,

    Really feel very high, at the top of the world, with someone dedicating a few lines to me, for the first time in my life. Besh, besh, romba nanna irukku- in Tamil it means very nice!
    Sorry Sushila for barging in to your space like this.

    Agatha83
     
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  7. jayasala42

    jayasala42 IL Hall of Fame

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    There are some people who worry as to why they have no worries.Worries make them sustain their strength.They don't want to be happy either.They want to be heard by others and that gives them lot of satisfaction.
    Dear OJaantrik, your response is simply wonderful and makes us happily mad.
    There have been comics in Tamil wherein two people walk together.For every question the answer will be some other question.This will go on endlessly until one would become very much depressed and say" for all these I should beat my head with shoes.."Immediately the other person would ask" Whether it is with your shoe or my shoe?"
    jayasala 42
     
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  8. sindmani

    sindmani Gold IL'ite

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    Good that u r empathetic and hear others problems. One thing I personally suggest is forget their problems. Usually the person who tells me their problems will be relieved. But the pains of their problems get on to me.
     
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  9. SCSusila

    SCSusila Bronze IL'ite

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    @ojaantrik :

    Thank you very much for the great feed back . It is like an article by itself !
    But I must confess that the long dialogue you have reported left my head spinnng like a top . I had had to read it fully two times to understand whi said what , who dint say what , what was meant for who or who was meant to answer what ....ayyo , it was more confusing than reading Alice In Wonderland .

    But I will try to answer your doubt . " I dont know if he is happy to ve unhappy "
    My opinion is simple . People , generally , will not do anything repeatedly again and again, like habit , it it will not make them happy or at least satisfied ( satisfactiin is also onekind of happiness only , isnt it ) . If a person has made that a personality trait then it only means the person is happy with it . If not happy , the person will not do it .
    So , i will say : " he is happy to be unhappy "
     
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  10. SCSusila

    SCSusila Bronze IL'ite

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    @Agatha83
    Thank you for your sweet reply .
    What to do , when one gets older , only health is the only thing that will seem the most important thing in life . So it is natural that all the talk will be about health condition only . At least they may get some satisfaction of sharing their worries with others . A momentary relief also . i will count that as a drop of Happiness .
     

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