Unexpected Fallout With A Friend

Long post alert, please bear with me.

I recently had a bad experience with a friend and we both have stopped communicating with each other after the disagreement. I would like to know what you think and what you might have done differently if you were in my situation.

This friend of mine, who was my neighbor and a friend for 7 years, also became the owner of the house we had rented from someone else. When she came to look at the house before buying and asked if we would continue as tenants if they bought the house, I gave her a heads up that we had intentions of shifting to US in the near future but I could not confirm the plans to her since the our relocation plans were in initial stage.

After the house ownership changed, we signed a new rental agreement. Initially both families were in favor of signing a 11 month rental contract with a 2 month notice period but all of a sudden they changed their mind to do only a 3 month agreement with us. We decided to go with the flow as we didn't have other options. Later our visa came through and we moved out of the apartment. My friend and I departed like any two individuals who were going to miss each other and promised to meet in future. Little did I know what was coming after.

We reached US and amidst settling down, I started to ping her to find out when she was going to return our rental deposit. After a few reminders, our money came back and we found that they had deducted 1 month of rent (which amounts to INR 45,000) from the deposit (which equates to 6 months of rent) we paid them. When asked about it, she replied that we didn't paint the house before we moved out and we didn't let them know we were moving out 60 days in advance. There was some heated argument between us and we haven't spoken after that.

We disputed on following points and would like you to look closely and tell what makes sense.
1. The rental agreement bears following two statements -
•The lease shall commence on dd August 2018 and shall be in force for 3 months thereafter, i.e. till dd Nov 2018. The Lessee shall communicate their intention to extend the lease by dd Oct 2018 and the new lease shall thereafter be executed for such periods and such terms as both the Lessors and the Lessee may mutually agree.

................................

•The lease can be terminated by either party to the Agreement by giving 60 days notice, in writing of its intention to terminate the Agreement or by giving a notice and paying in lieu for the same.

We assumed that they wanted to know by dd Oct 2018 if we were moving out or not and hence disclosed our confirmed plan 15 days ahead of that date when we were in India. But she used the 2nd clause and said they weren't given 60 days of notice which means we should have told them in the month of September. This reply didn't make any sense to us at all.
2.Our house was locked for a week as I was visiting my relatives and we let my friend use that time to paint the house.We thought that we were helping them to find a tenant quickly as they didn't have to wait to paint till we moved out bag and baggage. At that time, she didn't mention anything to me that we were expected to pay for the painting expenses. She later mentions that it was a known custom that tenant has to paint the apartment before they moved out. I wish she was little kinder to me and told me in advance that this was coming instead of throwing it as a surprise much later. Felt it was a cheap act on her part. To accommodate the painters, I had to rearrange lot of stuff in the house in addition to packing my luggage before the day of my travel. I took this extra trouble for her but it was not recognized or appreciated.
3. While moving out, we left behind a couple of safety installations for the house, that we had paid for, hoping the next tenant might need it. When I asked my friend later if she accounted for those expenses, she replied she doesn't have much to say on that. Since we left them voluntarily without them asking for it, she is not expected to pay for them.
4. In our apartment building, people who don't have cars rent out their parking space for those who need extra parking. My friend has been using our parking. She owed us parking charges for those 3 months. I inquired her about that and she replied that she would pay only for 2 months since she had started to park elsewhere from 3rd month. This change wasn't communicated to us at all. How can she then decide herself she would pay only for 2 months?
5.I gave her some of my good bake ware as she enjoys cooking. I don't expect anything in return but I wonder if my relationship meant anything to her. I just wish she was more thoughtful and considerate to me as I was (or at least tried to be) with her. Instead she treated me the way a house owner might deal with a tenant.

I am not really sad that the friendship ended because I have always sensed some sort of discomfort with her even though she was one of those people with whom I spent more time together. She has been a decent friend to me and we have some common interests. On the other side, she is a person of self righteousness and has lot of self interest in mind. But I didn't act on my instincts and gave her a long leeway. That's my weakness. At the same time, it is little difficult to believe there is nothing left between us after being together for 7 years. It is difficult to reconcile with her because she is not the listening type. I don't trust her anymore and so I don't want to patch up either. Something still bugs me. May be I feel fooled/cheated or didn't find her intentions early enough?

My kid has her own set of friends in the apartment and she wants to meet them when we visit India. Even I have other common friends in the apartment whom I want to visit. After this incident, I feel awkward to go b and wonder how would I react if I bump into her?

 

@mangaii ,
Thanks for your reply.

Agree. It applies to both owner and tenant. Owner should not corner the tenant for their gains.

If we had removed those, she or the next tenant would have to spend equivalent money that we spent in the first place to install the safety nets in the balconies. Removing the nets would serve no purpose to anyone and it was much needed in the community we lived in for some reasons. Whether they acknowledge or not, they of course are benefitted by it remaining there.

We informed them 45 days in advance. Not 15 days. We were in that house for 1.5 years and my friend became the new owner since the last three months of our stay.