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Under Whose Name To Buy The Property...???

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by frndlysgp, Jun 25, 2018.

  1. frndlysgp

    frndlysgp Silver IL'ite

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    Hi All,

    Posting on behalf of a friend. She dated a guy from lower middle class in her first job, during that time as the job was not very well paid they decided to switch jobs and then get married. Guy got a job in a different city even though salary was not very high from the first job he decided to take it as the company was good. My friend got a job after 2 months later in abroad. After some discussion she took the job she is my colleague now. She was from upper middle class family. In the first job she never saved anything as her parents took care of every thing and her salary was just to enjoy. So when she came abroad she din't have any money. Her parents gave her money for initial expenses. When she came here she saved up a decent amount and then got married to her boy friend. Her parents did a grand marriage and took care of the expenses and the guy spent money for his side so he din't have any savings post marriage. He found a job in the same city as hers and moved abroad. As soon as he got job my friend wanted to invest in a property so that both of them can save and pay the emi. She had some initial savings for cash down, her parents also gave some money as loan. They registered the property in her name. But there were few common friends and even the parents of the guy asked under whose name it was registered when he conveyed that they as a couple bought the property. The guy said to his parents as she had the savings he registered it in her name. Girl felt little awkward by the question. When she said this to me I also feel a bit uncomfortable on people asking under whose name the couple is buying the property. Would like to know your valuable opinions on this? For me dono why parents or friends should ask in whose name its bought. The guy's parents never helped with any money. They din't spend any money on their wedding dint gift the girl anything. So what rights they would have to ask? This is my opinion but din't tell her this way. Looking to know your opinions on this.
     
    Last edited: Jun 25, 2018
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  2. nakshatra1

    nakshatra1 Platinum IL'ite

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    Between husband wife , it doesn't matter whose name property is bought . It belongs to both of them .Both are one unit now .

    She is from a well to do family but she married a guy who has no savings . This fact shows her character that she doesn't care for money . Many women expect the guy to be settled , have savings , property , etc before marriage . Your friend seems to love the guy truly so she doesn't care for money . Even after that her in-laws are not trusting with regard to property that's sad .

    Sometimes it takes years to save for down payment . What if she also had decided to spend her savings on her marriage like her husband spent for his side ? Then they wouldn't even be able to buy this property today . So the guys' parents should consider their son very lucky and stop being greedy .

    If they are so patriarchal they cant accept property being on wife's name they should have let their son to save his own money, instead of taking down payment from.wife and her parents . In any case her husband seems a supportive guy so she should not care for such questions .
     
    Last edited: Jun 25, 2018
    NeetaR and messedup like this.
  3. ashneys

    ashneys Platinum IL'ite

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    Rights? Many humans don't have 'time' to think if they need "rights" to ask a question. You thought it, you ask it.. watcha talkin about.. :thinking: haha

    N our world has some greedy humans, thus we face such questions.

    "Even though I didn't help you in your life when you were struggling or progressing, if you have invested in something, then I just need it in your name as that gives me more rights though your spouse has been working their ass off to come this far. N I always want the best only for you. Ehhh..."
    .. that may be a parent thought
    or they can convince the kid to loan the property for them
    or they just wana safeguard their kids if they get a divorce or something.
    Many reasons like that .. :confundio1:

    I think your friends are solid couple. They have progressed steadily n made their life. If she talks to you about this, just suggest to ignore those curious weirdos n continue their journey. I don't see anything wrong in what they have done. Even her hubby seems matured n has a clear understanding of their decision. N most importantly, n they have done what has worked for them, n this may be just a first of their investment n as long as they do what works for them, it's good.

    We just need to learn to manage such questions / people n move on. N not get affected by them. If we let all this affect us negatively, then that's on "us" not 'them'. Because at the end of the day it's about how much power we give them.
     
    coffeecups likes this.
  4. goldenhoney87

    goldenhoney87 Silver IL'ite

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    :biggrin::biggrin::clapclap::clap2:
     
  5. Rihana

    Rihana IL Hall of Fame

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    The woman's parents have helped her with money even after she started earning, spent on her grand wedding, and even helped with the property's down payment. If there is so much involvement from their side in their daughter's life and they know so much about her finances, then there is not much wrong in the guy's parents asking in whose name the property was registered. The woman's parents are looking out for her, the guy's parents might be doing the same for him.

    Is she going to pay the EMI independently? Or will both contribute to it? Is there a plan that at a certain point, property will be transferred to both their names?

    Friends and others asking about the registration's details -- the couple needs to tell them to buzz off or have a suitable, brief, diplomatic reply ready and avoid going into details.

    Ideally, other than the couple, maybe their parents, and maybe siblings, or some very close friends, no one else needs to know details like who had savings, whose name property is registered in and so on.
     
    Last edited: Jun 26, 2018
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  6. sokanasanah

    sokanasanah IL Hall of Fame

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    That's it. This is all that is required. Even for relatives, parents etc. The woman's parents know what's what - because they contributed to the down payment. It is reasonable for the couple to expect to have to pay it back and work toward that so that they can assert their couplehood - for themselves as much as to the world; not merely for bean counting. For everyone else, one simply says "What do you mean? We're husband and wife! We do everything together! Are you saying you don't?" Feign shock. That's it. Busybodies should not be encouraged.

    On a different note, when it comes to divorce, property acquired before marriage is considered personal property, but property acquired after marriage may require negotiation to sort out what's what and who owes what to whom, especially where mortgage payments - joint or separate - are involved.

    But ... there's a right way and a wrong way to do this.
     
    Last edited: Jun 26, 2018
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  7. nakshatra1

    nakshatra1 Platinum IL'ite

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    .
     
    Last edited: Jun 26, 2018
  8. poovai

    poovai Platinum IL'ite

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    Life lessons tell me...don't be shy. It is her hard earned money + her parents put additional down payment for the house. The house should be in her name only.

    For these sort of questions, simply simile and walk away.
     
    NeetaR likes this.
  9. frndlysgp

    frndlysgp Silver IL'ite

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    Thanks everyone for your feedback . The girl is the only daughter and don't have any siblings. Parents contributed when she came over here and seems she paid them back the money.They did so as she din't have any savings and hence borrowed from them its a lesson learnt for her. The loan which they gave her to buy property is also being repaid it seems. They felt the interest rates are higher in the bank hence gave the money as loan. The guy however has sibling and his parents have given his sister plot as dowry, as decided during her marriage time. Unfortunately in their place marriage expenses are borne by girls parents and they won't accept that money from the daughter. They are quite well off so marriage expenses was not a big deal, however she dint wanted to take the money for property. But as she searched the property from abroad and could not go for registration,her parents some how convinced that we will pay the remaining amount and she can pay it back to them itself instead of paying so much of interest to the bank. She is returning back the money every month like an EMI.

    May be it becomes quite awkward, as they are newly married and would not think what if they get separated in future. Seems like they had 2.5 years of long distance relationship so they feel their relationship is strong enough.

    It is not this particular case. Many times when a working girl gets married and when the couple invests on property there are cases when they buy it on the guy's name but the wife still contributes to the EMI. I have seen many friends doing this. Nobody has any concerns then. But when vice versa happens that is wife earns almost equally as husband and has more savings so plans to invest. Here if the wife buys on her name thinking that they can buy another property in husband's name later then its a different thinking altogether. Very hard to come out of this patriarchal mind set. My conversation with her recently made me to think hence wanted to know the view of indus ladies. Where else to go for asking opinions ;)
     
  10. nakshatra1

    nakshatra1 Platinum IL'ite

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    Shame on the guys parents for discriminating between son and daughter . They can pay for their daughters marg and gift her a plot too , but not pay even for sons wedding .. finished off all his savings for that wedding which would be mostly for their relatives and acquaintances . Now suddenly they started looking out for their son due to pure greed . Why weren't they looking out for their son all this time instead of discriminating against him and finishing his savings ? I'm not saying parents should pay for child's wedding , but at least don't discriminate between daughter and son so much.

    Admire ur friend for returning the down payment to her parents in form of emi . Thats the right thing to do .As a single daughter , it's her duty to protect her parents hard earned wealth who don't have son. Never know in future if she takes care of her parents in old age , her patriarchal in-laws might again have issues with that too . Hopefully she will strongly fight against any such notions and take care of parents equally as in-laws .

    Between husband wife it makes no difference whose name is property if relationship is strong and committed. Outsiders should refrain from creating unnecessary negativity around financial matters between the couple .
     
    Last edited: Jun 26, 2018
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