1. If someone taught you via skype, what would you want to learn? Tell us here!
    Dismiss Notice

Uncomfortable

Discussion in 'General Discussions' started by shravs3, Apr 16, 2019.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. shravs3

    shravs3 IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    2,060
    Likes Received:
    3,927
    Trophy Points:
    300
    Gender:
    Female
    Hi all,
    I think most of them know that I moved to different city recently. Yesterday, I moved into a shared apartment which is already shared by two Indians( Male and female).

    As they where from same company,I felt it would be ideal to move with them as it’s even easier for transportation and other stuffs.

    But the main issue is initially, I was told that they where just friends and since the gal couldn’t find any other apartments she had to share with a guy who is her college mate.
    I really dint bother much about it as they also moved in last week.

    Now I feel that they are in relationship as they share the same room even at night.

    But actually she had told that we both will be sharing the room.
    I was fine with it. But now it’s different.

    I’m feeling very uncomfortable.
    If she had told earlier that they were in relationship I’m sure I wouldn’t have moved in.

    I feel I’m intruding their private space.

    I even cannot move out now at least for a month.

    Not sure what to do atleast for now.

    Yesterday they were going out to buy some stuff, I said I’m bored and is it ok if I join them. Through their expressions I felt that they were not comfortable, but they said they are fine with it.

    My DH says why should I bother? But it’s taking my peace away.

    I know, I can’t even question them for not revealing their relationship as it’s their private stuff. But I’m feeling really annoyed.
     
    Last edited: Apr 16, 2019
    Amica, Thyagarajan, Afresh and 2 others like this.
    Loading...

  2. Rihana

    Rihana IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    9,111
    Likes Received:
    22,307
    Trophy Points:
    440
    Gender:
    Female
    Shravs, good to see you post from new gps coordinates. : )
    So, you are getting a room to yourself? Or is that gal's stuff in your room and she only teleports to the other room sunset to sunrise?

    What about the rent? How many bedrooms in the place? Are you paying 1/2 or 1/3 the total rent? If you are paying 1/3 and getting a room to yourself, isn't it great?

    Be practical. The money saved by sharing an apartment, with people from the same company, Indians, and the convenience of transportation etc is worth it. Yes, you are surprised and didn't know beforehand, but is it so big a deal?

    That is their problem. Don't hide in your room just to give them privacy in the living room.

    Such things happen in any new roommates situation. A little bit of square dancing with stepping on each other's toes till all figure out what works.

    You could make a note to yourself to use their company or other help that they can offer only when needed, or direly needed. Not because you are "I'm bored." For that boredom resolution, we are here in IL, no?

    I once said earlier he is a wise person. He is right. Text and tell him 'you are right' sandwiched between I-miss-you's.

    : ) Yes, it would annoy any one to discover this after moving in. But, deal with it. After a week or two, you could casually bring up some house-rules, such as they maintain one-arm distance when sitting on couch in the living room. : )

    Also, there might be times when your DH might visit you? He could stay in the apartment if your roommates are OK with it. So, try to let the lovebirds be. Maybe pavam they are not able to tell the world the truth. : )
     
    Anusha2917, SinghManisha and shravs3 like this.
  3. Amulet

    Amulet Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,731
    Likes Received:
    2,875
    Trophy Points:
    283
    Gender:
    Female
    Are you responsible for your part of the rent ? Or.. would you have to pay higher amount for gaining a "single room" ?
    If your expenses didn't change.....
    • hahaha.... It is so funny that you complain when you get to occupy your own room.
    • And besides, you are assuming that those two are in a relationship just because they are sharing a room at night -- it may just be metaphysical.... or physical.
    • Just ignore them, and focus on your life.
    • when they don't want you to go with them on drives (shopping?), give them a shopping list, and money to buy what is on that list. That would be such a good service.
     
    Anusha2917, Sunshine04 and shravs3 like this.
  4. Sunshine04

    Sunshine04 Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,508
    Likes Received:
    1,787
    Trophy Points:
    283
    Gender:
    Female
    What good practical advice.
    @shravs3 . Throw your ethics away.
    Since they are known Indians, it's good and safe for you.
    Enjoy the entire room to yourself.
     
  5. shravs3

    shravs3 IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    2,060
    Likes Received:
    3,927
    Trophy Points:
    300
    Gender:
    Female
    Thanks for being the first poster Rihana :blush:
    It’s a 2BHK.
    I was told that we gals will be sharing one room and the guy in one more room. I will be paying only 1/3rd of the rent. Yes in one way getting a full room for myself is a jackpot though!

    Except that we both are sharing same bathroom and a closet.

    I feel I’m disturbing those love birds :expressionless:
     
    Rihana likes this.
  6. Rihana

    Rihana IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    9,111
    Likes Received:
    22,307
    Trophy Points:
    440
    Gender:
    Female
    Do they cook at home or mostly eat out? Is food/grocery shared? By when will you prove that you are the best cook in the place?

    Set up an arrangement where you cook, she cleans the counter, and he does the dishes. : ) : )

    Oh to be young again...... : ) Ensoi the virah and milan's this staying apart might give cause for.

    Having a lazy Monday evening...... Please to forgive the unsolicited : )
     
    Afresh and shravs3 like this.
  7. Amulet

    Amulet Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,731
    Likes Received:
    2,875
    Trophy Points:
    283
    Gender:
    Female
    Follow Rihana's counsel, always. She has that desi-touch that is unique. I have less gray/grey in my thoughts and feelings about things.

    As for "disturbing those love birds", you are not. On the contrary, you may be providing a virtual safety cover for the girl. She'd be treated more gently by that boy when he has a witness at earshot. This is like a girl's mother visiting the USA, when the young husband's temperamental behavior is shelved until the mum departs.

    What unsolicited... posts are "open house" aren't they ?
    Tax-day is almost over... and people tend to feel less stressed.
    @shravs3: Tax question: is the job within the same state as your joint income tax filer ?
     
    Last edited: Apr 16, 2019
    Anusha2917, shravs3 and Rihana like this.
  8. shravs3

    shravs3 IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    2,060
    Likes Received:
    3,927
    Trophy Points:
    300
    Gender:
    Female
    Lol :laughing:
     
    Rihana likes this.
  9. shravs3

    shravs3 IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    2,060
    Likes Received:
    3,927
    Trophy Points:
    300
    Gender:
    Female
    :relaxed:;):p
     
    Rihana likes this.
  10. SinghManisha

    SinghManisha Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    634
    Likes Received:
    1,517
    Trophy Points:
    263
    Gender:
    Female
    I understand your situation. I had female roommates that would constantly have boyfriends over spending the night. This was not discussed when we decided to be roommates and it really put me off. I am all for people in love spending time together but not at the cost of making others uncomfortable.
    But I would not confront them about it specially if they are helping you settle down. Chances are even if you change roommates you will encounter this situation ( even with Indians ).
    So don’t think much about it and enjoy the room to yourself.
     
    Anusha2917, Rihana and shravs3 like this.
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.

Share This Page