Unavoidable laws!!!!

Discussion in 'Jokes' started by prathi, Apr 27, 2006.

  1. prathi

    prathi Bronze IL'ite

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    These are the unavoidable laws of the natural universe...

    Many seem to be true to me. I experienced No.9 just today. My internet line was down often and i called the service personnel to come over and have a look. The DSL light in the modem was blinking all this week, but was so steady till that man was in our house anticipating for it to blink so that he could fix it...isn't that a little too much!!!:confused:

    1. Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease your nose will begin to itch or you'll have to pee.

    2. Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

    3. Law of probability: The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

    4. Law of the Telephone: When you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.

    5. Law of the Alibi: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.

    6. Variation Law: If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now. (works every time).

    7. Bath Theorem: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.

    8. Law of Close Encounters: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

    9. Law of the Result: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

    10. Law of Biomechanics: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

    11. Theater Rule: At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.

    12. Law of Coffee: As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

    13. Murphy's Law of Lockers: If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

    14. Law of Dirty Rugs/Carpets: The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich of landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness, color and cost of the carpet/rug.

    15. Law of Location: No matter where you go, there you are.

    16. Law of Logical Argument: Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.

    17. Brown's Law: If the shoe fits, it's ugly.

    18. Oliver's Law: A closed mouth gathers no feet.

    19. Wilson's Law: As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.
     
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  2. Chitvish

    Chitvish Moderator IL Hall of Fame

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    Just one experience !

    I go to the doctor after running high temperature for 2, 3 days. When he puts the thermometer in my mouth, it refuses to go beyond 98.4 deg & makes me look like a fool !
    Love & regards,
    Chithra.
     
  3. purnima_2k

    purnima_2k Senior IL'ite

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    Good ones!

    Brown's Law: If the shoe fits, it's ugly. -- This has happened soo many times. After great difficulty i go to a shop and after two hours of scrambling i utimately find the right dress/ shoe of the right color and lo! my joy comes to a sudden halt! The guy has the dress/shoe which is one more/one less a size than mine! This aparently happens most of the times and i land up buying the 'not so good' one!!..:(

    Nice one Prathi!
    Purnima

     
  4. varalotti

    varalotti IL Hall of Fame

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    All Murphys Laws, Prathi

    Dear Prathi,
    All good ones, all of them are true, and are borne of real, bitter experience. I once got a 200 page Murphy's Laws complete which has these and several other laws.
    I liked the following the most
    a) An expert is a person who always comes from afar.
    b) As you are entering your house driving your car you will hear the telephone ringing. It will continue to ring till you get down from the car, lock the car, open the house and run to the telephone. It will stop precisely at the moment you touch the phone instrument.
    regards,
    sridhar
     

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