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Unable to say "NO" in both personnel life and professional life has made me a doormat

Discussion in 'Working Women' started by RoopaGB, Feb 6, 2012.

  1. RoopaGB

    RoopaGB Junior IL'ite

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    Hi All,

    I am suffering in both personnel and professional life for not able to say "NO" :( .

    I need to learn how to balance life by saying "NO" when its actually reqd. For many people it seems i am simply exaggerating its so easy to say "no" ............but i am unable to ............why so????? Is it a psycology problem? or fear? or some phobia ...........i am so confussed .............
     
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  2. lalikrishna

    lalikrishna Silver IL'ite

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    Re: Unable to say "NO" in both personnel life and professional life has made me a doo

    Hi Roopa I am also a victim of the same phobia or whatever name we could give it. The fact of the matter is we consider ourselves more duty bound. I think we need to practice how to when and where to tell excuses without abrasions...
     
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  3. RoopaGB

    RoopaGB Junior IL'ite

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    Re: Unable to say "NO" in both personnel life and professional life has made me a doo

    Nice to know someone has same phobia like me :) I was thinking i am having some psycology problem :) and i need some serious medication :)...............
     
  4. ShrutiShenoy

    ShrutiShenoy New IL'ite

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    Re: Unable to say "NO" in both personnel life and professional life has made me a doo

    Its same with me as well. It's like I think what will other people think about me if I say "NO"
    I don't know.. what to do as well.. I just don't want to hurt them. Saying no to anyone is difficult for me as well :/ :rant :bonk
     
    Last edited: Feb 6, 2012
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  5. Pallavi4me

    Pallavi4me Platinum IL'ite

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    Re: Unable to say "NO" in both personnel life and professional life has made me a doo

    yes, its the same with many of us.. (consider me too .. some times i have this problem.. how hard i try to say "no" but i end doing that which i didnot wnat to)

    May be the reason for this is fear & lack of confidence / insecurity some times (not all the times .. no offense to any one) and hesitation most of the times

    But we need to start doing that.. that is to maintian our self respect.. it is very important .. to say "no" in a very subtle way in the required situation...

    Start that habit from today on.. and to avoid embarrasement you can say no.. "With a very smiling face./.." see Ms. / Mr. my hands are already with the present work.. and adding this just for the sake of not able to tell no.. will result into bad output only from me.. so try to find someone for this work..

    bus.. they will not come to you repeatedly with requests of doing something which you did not want to ..

    Try it.. Good luck
     
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  6. RoopaGB

    RoopaGB Junior IL'ite

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    Re: Unable to say "NO" in both personnel life and professional life has made me a doo

    Yeah u r rite .... Insecurity could be one of the reason and even fear could be another reason ..........
     
  7. shruthisp

    shruthisp Gold IL'ite

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    Re: Unable to say "NO" in both personnel life and professional life has made me a doo

    May be there is a need to be MORE Assertive...
    Everybody put themselves ahead of others.. May be we too have to understand and practise that...
    Its better to say a NO to few things and do good work on few than to accept everything and spoiling all right?
     
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  8. coolblues

    coolblues Platinum IL'ite

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    Re: Unable to say "NO" in both personnel life and professional life has made me a doo

    I guess our upbringing is ingrained with seeking acceptance or pleasing others keeping our own happiness at bay. Once we learn that we are here to live our life and not for others, saying NO will be easy.

    Saying NO is often considered rude and arrogant, again, thanks to our society and upbringing. Yes, when we say NO to people they do get disappointed but at what cost? our own convenience and happiness?? At the end of the day,we need to have a peaceful life, isn't it.. ?
     
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  9. Jananikrithsan

    Jananikrithsan Gold IL'ite

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    Re: Unable to say "NO" in both personnel life and professional life has made me a doo

    It's not easy, what is difficult also depends on the person we are saying no to but I think we have to begin somewhere, for it is not possible to please everyone at all times! Start by saying " maybe later", " some other time", meaning to say not the 'no' word directly! This is how I started , very late in life, but Im happy, I made a begining somewhere!
     
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  10. pujara

    pujara New IL'ite

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    Re: Unable to say "NO" in both personnel life and professional life has made me a doo

    well it is not serious thing if you are not able to say no I thing it is good side of your side it show how much positive you are well actually I want to be like you if u like or doesn't like you should do.......

    i have heard from my mom this thing because generally I use to tell no and then I felt bad because I am doing that thing so it’s better to say yes

    it’s beautiful life you should always be positive and optimistic
    please ignore if you doesn’t like because everyone have different view
     

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