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unable to manage household work and kids.

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by justchill, Aug 1, 2013.

  1. justchill

    justchill Bronze IL'ite

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    Hi

    I am a new member. One of my neighbour introduced me to ths.
    Can someone pls advice how to manage household chores with kids.

    I have 2 kids. And I am a cleanliness freak. Either I am exhausted with household work, or with kids.

    If I do household work it takes a toll on my kids. I cant concentrate on their studies. I am a SAHM, but still I am so exhausted. My health is not supporting either.

    ANd its affected my married life too.
     
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  2. Rakhii

    Rakhii Moderator IL Hall of Fame

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  3. yellowmango

    yellowmango IL Hall of Fame

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    Just chill...this is very common with compulsive clean freaks:)
    Looking after the children is far more important than having a perfect home.
    Set limits for how much cleanliness is required. Your house should be neat and safe. Clean up once and then learn to turn blind eye. Make the kids do their bit. They can learn to put their toys in place. appreciate them if they do but don't get obsessive about it .

    you have the rest of your life to clean and scrubs...your kids will grow up too fast .Enjoy them while you can.Soon they will not need you around.

    Most importantly...take time out for yourself. A person who is happy makes everyone around happy.
     
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  4. shantana

    shantana Platinum IL'ite

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    a sahm is not easy as others think moreover with two kids managing alone is not easy task either.
    get a part time cleaner to help u with housework and try to cook in morning before your kids wake up.
    do your house work while your kids are napping. are they very young? if not you can send both or one of them to pre-school for few hours. and u can utilise this hours to finish your remaining works.
    get some help from ur dh as well like taking care of the kids and try to have some 'me time' so that u will feel stressed and overwhelmed.
    this is are few ideas that work for me. im a working mother of 2 boys. i will cook meal for the boys before i leave to work and my mil takes care of them. at nite after feeding the boys i will spend some time with them and put my younger one (1 1/2 yrs old) to sleep at 9pm and start my work eg, do dishes, clean the kitchen, wash clothes and fold dry clothes. and hit my bed before 11pm with my elder son. i will take 15 mins to scroll on fb or to read book before sleeping.
    mil cooks for the rest and i dont expect her to clean the kitchen after cooking. dh works on shift, so if he is around he will help me with the kids and i can finish my work by 30 mins early.
    on weekends i cook for rest of the family and make breakfast too. so i will try to wake up early to cook breakfast and kids meal. and cook lunch when my younger one takes nap at 11am. my main tasks are cooking, feeding the kids and spending time with them, clean the kitchen and laundry at nite. im not bothered to clean the rest of the house on time because we have cleaner who comes on alternate days to clean the house.
    .
     
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  5. justchill

    justchill Bronze IL'ite

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    I have a 1 and half year baby and 3 year old child, who goes to school. after looking at ur schedule, I am feeling relieved, really, shantana..


    yellowmango, u r right, kids grow up, i have to slow down.

    rakhi, thanks for the link
     
  6. sweetyk

    sweetyk Gold IL'ite

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    Hi,

    Though I don't like the idea of doing all by your self. Still you can do it if you are willing.

    Here is what you can do.

    Plan write down all your weekly, monthly, daily tasks.

    Then plan you day hours accordingly. Ok, 6 hours sleep is enough.

    18 hours.

    so sleep at 10 pm and get up at 4 am.

    4 am - 4.30 - dust furniture, mop tiles (if any).
    4.30 - 5.00 - fresh up (bath)
    5 am - pooja
    5.15 am - 6 am - cooking breakfast, lunch and dinner.
    6 am - 6.30 am wake up babies, fresh up them.
    6.30 - 7.00 - coffee, milk to babies
    7.00 am - 7.30 am - relax
    7.30 am - 8 am - Breakfast, get ready go office, day care etc

    Evening:
    6 pm - coffee
    6.30 - 7.30 play time, park time tv time
    7.30 - 8 pm warm up dinner if ready and eat dinner
    8 pm - 9 pm - home work etc
    9 pm - Put babies to sleep
    9.15 pm -10 pm - Clean kitchen and go to bed

    -------
    week end

    4 am - 6 am (laundry, or bath room cleaning)

    ...
    if you plan and practice you can do this. But why do all by your self unless your hubby is little lazy :)

    ..
    sweety
     
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  7. satchitananda

    satchitananda IL Hall of Fame

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    I don't know how you would like this idea. I used to follow it when I was working full time. (Of course, some amount of compromise is required and if you and your family are willing to accept that, it will make your life easy).

    Used to buy vegetables on Saturday evening for the whole week. Clean and chop them all on Sunday. Some of them I used to store in the freezer after chopping. (Note: some vegetables like cabbage, potatoes and water containing vegetables are not suitable for freezing). I used to make one vessel of rasam, one of sambar and one of kootu for the week. Vegetables I would make fresh as and when required from the chopped vegetables or chop them fresh and use. One more option is to grate coconut and freeze it for fresh use. You could also grind masala for sambar, kootu and mor kozhambu (if you make it with coconut) and keep ready to thaw and use when required. You could also make tamarind extract and freeze it in bottles and use one at a time. Dal can also be cooked and stored in the freezer. This will save you all the time and effort you spend every day on chopping and cleaning and cooking.

    If this is not acceptable, get your maid to help you chop vegetables, grate coconut for you and do the peripherals.

    Do you have a washing machine? Put your clothes in just before you start cooking, so that goes on simultaneously. You can dry it out afterwards or ask maid to help or if mil/husband will help with that, ask them to do that for you. Get them to look after kids in the evenings, so you get some time in the kitchen.
     
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  8. justchill

    justchill Bronze IL'ite

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    thanks for the tips.. i dont have a maid.
    I'll plan and make a routine NOT TO do too much work, as u'll find me scrubbing bathroom wall tiles every week. Guess kids will grow, i have rest of my life to scrub..
     
  9. veenago

    veenago Bronze IL'ite

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    I guess proper planning and also prioritising will defenitely help.In my opinion your health should be on top priority and as sweetyk mentioned list down and do only the stufss that you need to do.Better try to have a maid to help you.
     

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