Tricky Neighborhood !

I can relate to each word you put down here.. Like seriously!

Its been about 2 years here & till date I couldn't make a lot of friends (just one or two that I can call friends). I have had similar experience with people in my neighborhood & with acquaintances too. I cannot do the small talk, I am a person with deeper insights on things & most ladies find me strange (in the neighborhood).. lol

I got used to it eventually & learnt to spend my time on things I love, people who are worth my time. My work has helped me a lot, to get over the need to have friends here. I used to put in lot of effort to be a part of the group or be accepted in the surrounding but after a while I understood I just cant do that, for me connections should be natural & not made-up kinds.

So I would just say, ignore the negativity people bring in, try and see the good around you. You will make friends with time, & meet people who will match your wavelength. Keep yourself busy & be productive, relax & have fun. (even if it means having fun alone, you'll learn that art soon).

Good Luck!

 

Wait untill you get a friend who has ur similar wavelength of thinking. That's the only option . keep a basic contact with ur neighbours as it is really required. hope u find great friendship around u

 

90% work for the same company ! Call me weird but I see a big problem with developing friendships there. I have seen it first hand, friendship and professional life don't mix, specially with Indians. We are used to a hierarchical working system that we refuse to leave back in India. The boss's wife, even if she is a friend is likely to have all the information about work politics, including how much each one makes. All because the boss does not know where to draw the line when it comes to sharing information with his wife. The work place politics can seep into friendships and make things ugly.

Your intentions are fine, but over the years I have realized not to be overly generous with time or efforts, not everyone will value it. Don't expect much gratitude or manners from people and you will be pleasantly surprised once in a while .

It's best to be cordial to everyone but have a few close friendships with people that utilize their life and time efficiently.

 

Girl , these kind of groups exist everywhere. Even when my 5 year old Daughter tries to be friends with some of the older kids (like ages 8-9), they don't want to include her, can you believe it? Maybe because they may think she is small, slows down their play etc. But my point is if there is a new person who may not be viewed to be similar to the ppl in the existing group, in your case, maybe you are smarter, more mature , then the people in the current group may not give any bhaav to the new person..

would this mean there is a problem with the new person or the group 's perception?

You need to just wait for the right company to come along with whom you can have a meaningful friendship & conversations.

 

Btw, I thought you already have your bffs in us?

 

We can't accompany her to the gym , can we

 

A food for thought, literally & figuratively, why don't you invite these ladies for lunch & see what happens? I bet each of these will want to be your best friend after that!

 

Archana!!!

Thoroughly admired the way you portrayed!
I exactly got through what you are going through!
And like you have mentioned there is always this "Tamil group" "Telugu group" "hindi group" and most of the times people mingle only when the language matches!

This happens only when there are too many Indians! People will dig which state they belong to, then which part they belong to, which caste they belong too....this keeps going.
But when one lives in non-indian area, we will be ready even to mingle with a Pakistani or Bangladeshi!!(no offence/enmity intended).
Thats how we indians do and or thats what I saw (Am not supporting by the way).

But I feel its better to wait and go with the flow. Good friends will come on your way by themselves.
If we get into such gangs/ gossiping ladies all that we get is we will get a gang to chit chat(90% useless talks), will get company during shopping, may be exchange of few dishes/snacks during festivals. Other than that nothing much. I feel its better to do that with a real friend rather than doing with a group just for name sake. And silly competitions, ego fights, cold wars, many such things are for sure in most cases.

Rather we can find ourselves getting comfortable with being alone...self sufficient....I think you are already doing that.We can do something new that teases out brain and make us grow. Or something that makes us happy...like following a hobby or passion. But again! it doesn't mean that you shouldn't know anyone. You can always maintain a hi bye relationship with few acquaintances for emergency sake. Am sure we Indians will always be ready to help another person in case of emergency. No matter what state/region they belong to. So do have few acquaintances.

Other than that, nothing much happens in being such groups. And if you are destined to get a good friend, she/he will be on your way!

Stay happy! : ) And cheers to the maturity that you gained.

P.S: Above all the language/cultural differences we got a life long friendship with a north Indian family. They chose us for friendship when they had too many north Indian families there. And same here. We chose them in spite of having too many south Indian families. It just happened. Nothing was artificial or forceful. Like always true Friendship and love travels beyond all the differences.