Travel Woes

If they are not gona come to the airport to pick you directly, maybe telling them a different date may help. That way you can go to your parents place, rest up n then travel to the village n pretend you are travelling from the airport.

Or you need to come up with sickness excuse, that you or your child isn't well due to the travel n can't travel again right away.

I guess it's kind of a power game they are playing here rather than thinking about any of your comfort. If this is the case, it's highly unlikely that they can be convinced no matter how real your reason maybe. So maybe a lil strategy can help.

 

Can your husband travel to inlaws place while you stayback with your parents for a day or two and join him later?

 

So, last time your in laws created a big issue for visiting your parents for a day. That's why your H is scared to make any move this time. Understandable.
This time, you create similar issue for not visiting your parents, that too after landing in their city. Also, create double fuss for having to wait at the airport for 4 hrs, with a fussy kid. Again, crib for the discomfort of a cab travel for long.
So, your H will get scared of you. Give him a chance to decide which one is more scary (wife or mom).
Depending on your behavior, he will decide whom to follow.

On a serious note:
Tell your husband, it is pointless to wait in an airport for 4 hrs for a connecting flight, when you have an option to rest at your parents' place.
It is inconvenient for you, and the kid to wait or travel in a cab for so long, after the very long trip from the US.
Also, tell him that you will have to visit your parents, and spend some quality time with them anyway.
Either it has to happen now (upon landing) or later (while your return trip) or in between.
It is easier to make it happen now, than later.

Tell him that he must prioritize his wife and kid first, and their emotions should come first.
His parents's reactions should not change his decisions, that too if that goes against his own family.

Be firm... Don't ask his permission. Don't let him make solo decisions.

 

You need to shut this silly behavior down right now unless you want to spend the rest of your life doing this. Husband can go by himself to his parents house first if he wants to. You go to your parents place and let your baby get some rest. Then travel to in-laws. Let them pout if they want to. It is a control issue for them and they will have only as much power as you give them.

 

Yeah how can he put his parents' ego over his baby's comfort? These are some of the situations where you shouldn't be afraid to argue and stand up for yourself.Your baby comes first, later inlaws... everytime

 

Hi Op,

As suggested by ashneys, no need to inform your In laws your exact arrival date of travel.

Pretend to have Jet-lag and let your in laws and Dh take care of the kid, while you take rest.

 

OP, this is my personal experience and if I were you, this is what I would do. Think. Think before you make a decision. I have been in both the situations.

Don’t take “panga” with inlaws if you are not ready and emotionally equipped to handle the drama afterwards. If you think it will be too stressful for you if you go to your inlaws afterwards, then, make the first visit there. Put a fight and go to parents only when you are ready to handle the issues later. And…babies are a lot more stronger than what we give them credit for.

Regardless of how long the flight is, I will take the cab and go to inlaws first. There is really no point in taking the baby home to your parents if you are not staying for longer than 1 week. You will be jet-lagged, the baby will be jet-lagged and you will be even more tired if you want to move a day after you land.
Edit: and I forgot to mention, when i took my kids as babies, it took them 5 days before their system changed to india time zone. So basically they were sleeping first 5 days when my inlaws were "awake". by the time I was ready to go to my parents place, their time zone changed and my parents got the kids full time. This is the upside of going to inlaws....
this very same thing happened when I visited my parents first. Kids schedule was totally off first 5 days.

Suck it up and go to inlaws. Baby will be fine. You will be fine. Go “home” whether it is parents or inlaws and stay put for at least a week before planning to travel again.

Alternatively, make it clear to your inlaws that you will go to your parents. Be firm. You are going to face issues with your inlaws when you get there but be prepared for it.

Good luck with the trip. India trips are rarely issue-free.