Travails Of A Would-be Father

Discussion in 'Pregnancy & Labor' started by Greenbay, Jun 1, 2018.

  1. Greenbay

    Greenbay Gold IL'ite

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    08/28: Shortlisted baby's names. Wife is very insistent that they should start with 'A'. I have observed that, In US, most Indian couples nowadays name their kids which start with A. I joke that we want to be first in everything, that's why A. She says names with A are easier to pronounce for Americans. Point noted but I am not convinced :). My theory is the point I stated and to avoid the long wait in graduation where kids are called alphabetically. Wife would never agree to name our kids as Zeesha and Zeeya :)

    08/29: Watched sunrise from park as we got up early and decided to walk before breakfast. I instantly remembered member @Srama from here. She would have written a beautiful inspiring snippet
     
  2. Greenbay

    Greenbay Gold IL'ite

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    Day 22 08/30: Sisters told that Sept 2 is Krishna Janmashtami this year. Wife tells that we need to continue the tradition of celebration. Wife usually made sweets and spicy snacks in the past but this year I want to give her rest. Searching recipes for easy type of sweets and khara which I can do without spoiling and preparing the shopping list for tomorrow was fun. I miss sales in India when during festival, grocery stores used to get fresh stock and had different vibe. The Indian grocery stores where we live, look and feel same in all festivals except Diwali/Ganesh and Raksha Bandhan.
     
  3. Greenbay

    Greenbay Gold IL'ite

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    3 months back when I started this thread, my mindset was to chronicle my journey to the parenthood here.

    It is tough to stay positive every day of the wife's pregnancy as some days are easier and some days doldrums, so had shared my thoughts in positivity thread to just keep my spirits up in last 3 weeks. I thought I was sharing on things I felt positive every day and it was not just a free form journaling of our parenting journey.

    I am sharing my wishes openly once again and also to help people (prospective parents) in the future to open their own journals.

    Problem is this thread is travails of a would-be father, so I cannot share anything other than parenting journey like whether my attempt to make Krishna's birthday sweets turned out great :)
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 7, 2018
  4. Greenbay

    Greenbay Gold IL'ite

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    Day 23 08/31 : Decided to try making Thambittu, kodubale, Badam Halwa for the Janmashtami. wife is eager to see how the end products look like. Made list of all things to be purchased from Indian stores

    Day 24 09/01 : Wife went with her few girl friends to see ‘ crazy rich Asians’. I too wanted to accompany them but she never asked :(. But good I didn’t go because she said it was a typical Bollywood story of rich loves poor, parental opposition, class divide etc except made with Chinese actors with Chinese culture. I have seen too many of such stories ;)

    Day 25 09/02 : Janmashtami preparation made me reminisce my mother so much. Not a day goes without remembering even once but Janmashtami was her favorite festival, so I too liked that because she liked. On quality of items I made, good that I chose not to be a professional cook ;)

    Day 26 09/03: Remembering my mother again as today is death anniversary of my late father (not English calendarwise but according to Hindu calendar) . Lost my father when I was 5. The ritual is in Hindu temple. Wife prepared the food to bring to temple as I had to be in empty stomach.

    I am supposed to continue to perform shraddha of my parents as I am the son( with 2 sisters). Personally, I don’t believe in such rituals. After I moved to US, I had discussed with my mother when she was alive that I will continue the tradition in a different way by contributing to charity and volunteering in a non-profit. She was disappointed but didn’t object much as my sisters came home for this and one of the BILs did the ritual. She had done my thread ceremony when I was 14. From that to till I moved out to do my Masters, I had continued that tradition but stopped for 5 years in between. But after her death,I started redoing for both which make my sisters happy. Last year was Adhika (extra month), so both death anniversaries were in same month but this year, they are separate. Mother’s will be on Oct 1 per Hindu calendar, her 10th death anniversary is Oct 5. We are victims of cultural conditioning I guess to continue such traditions even though we know how meaningless they seem to be.
     
  5. Greenbay

    Greenbay Gold IL'ite

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    Shahid Kapoor who is around same age as me has a son. Was glad to read that news but was little bit puzzled to read from his mother that his family is now complete. If he had a daughter(second time), his family is not complete? Wife thinks that such statements from celebrities will make a slower progress to normal society which values both genders from current patriarchal society. To be fair to Shahid, he didn’t make that statement, his mom did.
     
  6. Rihana

    Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Yeah that comment from Shahid's mom was annoying and disappointing. They knew the baby was coming, knew it would be a boy or a girl, surely could have prepared better statement to issue! Sigh.

    Unrelated - like Priyanka Chopra's mom, this mom too hasn't aged well. I remember her from her TV days.
     
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  7. Laks09

    Laks09 Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Must have meant that the baby completes the couple and their family. I'm sure it isn't about having a son Vs a daughter.
     
  8. Greenbay

    Greenbay Gold IL'ite

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    Week 37 completed. Home stretch with smooth sailing so far. But wife is disapointed that OBG has decided to do C section because baby-A is vertex and B is breech. They have asked us to pick date between Oct 3 to 10. I wish it was a normal delivery but don’t want wife to suffer either. Is the recovery longer in C section than vaginal birth? Now I am getting nervous that I might not be able to manage it alone.
     
  9. Greenbay

    Greenbay Gold IL'ite

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    Arth and Aru are here (actually they arrived on Sept 30 itself).

    Wife's water sac broke on Sunday early morning, so it was C-section 2 hrs later before we could settle on the date. All along we didn't want to know the genders but Wife had assumed that both were girls due to her itching sensation. She was very surprised that we had one of each.

    Boy weighs slightly less than Girl. But doctors said both babies are healthy and we shouldn't worry too much that their weights are borderline. Hospital will keep the wife and babies till Thursday.

    Arth means meaning, Aru is another name for Sun. They brought meaning and sunny outlook to our lives is what wife says. Aru is an unusual name for a girl but wife wanted both names to be short.

    Like Shahid Kapoor's mom says, our family is complete too unless wife conceives again without telling me :)

    My updates here will be rare from now on. Thanks for all the wishes and prayers. You all rock!!
     
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  10. poovai

    poovai Platinum IL'ite

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    Congrats dad!
     
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