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Transparency In Married Life.

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by quincyagain, Jan 11, 2017.

  1. Nonya

    Nonya Platinum IL'ite

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    It is a good idea, if not having it causes panic attacks.
     
  2. Rachu123

    Rachu123 Bronze IL'ite

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    Thank you so much.
    It has to be installed on both phones right?
    I cannot do on his phone. He do not even allow me to touch it.
     
  3. Laks09

    Laks09 Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    You can't install a tracking app on your husband's phone without his approval. That's inviting trouble.
     
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  4. suasin

    suasin Gold IL'ite

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    How long have you been married??

    My H is wrking in a place without a mobile permit.. Only desk phone n he often goes for unit visits.. I explained to him that I need him to drop our D n her frnds to classes n if he is going to be late, I need to make arrangements.. So, now he informs me even if he starts 15 min late..
    Men need reasons.. Instead of saying I get scared/Is it too much to ask, etc.. try saying for so n so purpose, I need to know where/when you will be back.. It works..
     
  5. Rachu123

    Rachu123 Bronze IL'ite

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    Thank you for the information @Laks09
     
  6. WorriesTooMuch

    WorriesTooMuch Silver IL'ite

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    I probably would let my spouse install it if he really wants it, but I would be pretty resentful to be honest. How did you phrase the question? If you said "So I don't have to call you every time to find out where you are" even I would not let the app into my phone. There's nothing I have to hide as such, but the thought of someone monitoring me like this.. Ugh.

    If your husband has never done anything to break your trust, give him the right to privacy. Transparency is all well and good, but it should not be suffocating for one person.
     
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  7. dnormx01

    dnormx01 Gold IL'ite

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    I was not angry, oops,sorry if the tone of the post read that way.

    However, I reiterate. Reluctance to download an app is not a test for transparency in marriage and neither is it proof of being responsible for the child.

    I don't like to take calls when I am at work. But will promptly reply to every message received. That doesn't mean I am not being open with my family? This is a similar scenario. You don't doubt him. He has nothing to hide. No 'other' issues in your marriage. He's a good dad and husband. Then a trivial thing as an app is not worth nagging yourself about and thinking so much.

    I understand if you are worried about his safety etc. but when he doesn't want it, let him be. why judge him and your marriage for that? Maybe he will himself want it down the line. We never know.

    Legally, morally, emotionally and however it's not wrong for you to want to know his whereabouts. But there are other ways, just as there are other ways he might be supporting you with parenting etc. It's just an app. The user decides to apply it or not.

    PS: not at all angry :)
     
    sbonigala likes this.
  8. yellowmango

    yellowmango IL Hall of Fame

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    I asked my husband...he wants a tracking app put on me .....:rolleyes:
    I have a really bad sense of direction .We call each other more in the market...kahan hai tu ???Kidhar chali gayi....????Half the time ,I leave the phone at home or car .

    My husband wouldn't mind..but mobiles are not allowed in office in his present place od work.
    Better than me calling him up while he is driving or in a meeting.

    I don't think there is any reason to be upset if some one asks .If you don't want,just explain why it is not needed.I don't see it as spying...more like wanting to stay in touch and having to worry less. In a loving relationship,you should be able to ask for something like this and also explain why it is not needed.

    It is different if it is being asked for trust issues .
     
    blissofmylife and Rihana like this.
  9. quincyagain

    quincyagain Junior IL'ite

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    yes, we live in US. i myself don't let google track me, thanx for the suggestions though.

    we have been married for 18 years, there is no trust issues in our marriage. there are many incidents when he forgets to leave office early where the kids miss their classes/practices. I have full time job, where i can't remind him while i myself run behind things here. I understand everyone needs a personal space, but i am not going to check on him every minute/hr. I’ve stumbled on many realizations that my husband isn’t me and doesn’t see things the same way I do. That is the reason i brought this issue to a public forum wanting to know the opinion/views of other married couple.

    If spying was my intention, i don't have to do this way.
     
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  10. Jlisabell

    Jlisabell Bronze IL'ite

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    We live in US and my husband and I both use the app Find my Friend. It is really easy to let each other know where we are without having to worry about texting or attending call while driving. We mostly use it to let each other know we are safe. We might have to travel 5-6 hours for work some weeks and this gives us peace of mind.
    We love it.
     
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