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Transition

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by Viswamitra, Dec 2, 2018.

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Dec 3, 2018 #11

gopalan1937 Silver IL'ite

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Viswamitra said: ↑

I called up the The Hospice of Florida Suncoast to inquire about their latest training program to volunteer as Patient & Family Care volunteer 3 months back and they told me 4 hours of general training to learn about the organization, 12 hours of training for Patient and Family Care and 4 hours of training for “Transition”. My mind told me why would someone needs to spend 20 hours to learn how to volunteer? That training is invaluable. They taught us how to wear and remove the glove and gown and how to wash our hands before and after getting into contact with a patient. I didn’t even know that World Health Organization has set standards for clean environment for patient care and this organization is in compliant with their standards. They did a background screening, vaccinated me for Tuberculosis and eventually when they issued a badge for me, I felt as though I finished my doctorate.

I didn’t do anything with that training for good 3 months until I heard the spiritual speaker last week. He indicated that if I need to improve my self-respect, I need to constantly work on opportunities to help those in need. The first thing that came to my mind was about my Patient Care training. The next day, I met with the Volunteer Coordinator and sought a meeting with her. She accepted my request and walked me through the care center. At the end of the meeting, she asked me to execute a few documents and asked when I could start volunteering. When I said immediately, she requested me to shadow two interesting volunteers last Friday and next Friday from 5 p.m. to 8 p.m. and then work every Saturday from 5 p.m. to 8 p.m.

Last Friday, I reported promptly at 5 p.m. and I was given a warm welcome by these two volunteers Mr. B and Mrs. M. One was 78 years old and the other was 77 years old and both have been volunteering every week for the past 10 years since the start of the care center in that location. When inquired further, I learned Mr. B prefers to volunteer as much as possible and like to give company for terminally ill patients to make a big difference in their transition. Mrs. M walked me through the daily routine for those 3 hours volunteering, what kind of emergencies could come in, showed me the button to press if there is threat to the care center or people inside the care center, how the order for breakfast, lunch and dinner are taken the previous day for the kitchen to prepare the next day, where to pin the orders in the kitchen, How to refill coffee cups, cookies, where the blankets are located if a family member prefers to stay overnight with their loved ones, how wheel chairs and other supplies are covered in plastic wrappers to indicate that they are sanitized and ready to use, where to take the patients if they like to feel fresh air, what I need to do if a patient wants to smoke, the location of the nurse station, if requested what I need to do to sit with a transitioning patient, if there are not loved ones near them, etc.

When I walked around the care center, I noticed some rooms are with very little light and soothing music indicating that those patients are transitioning. I was told most don’t like to eat and will be constantly in illusions seeing live and dead people alternatively and it is hard for them to differentiate which one is real and which one is illusion. They rarely talk and even if they do, it is difficult to understand what they are communicating unless we listen carefully. The co-volunteers training me emphasized how important it is to show love and compassion and always be smiling. Most importantly, they told me to keep my spirit very high understanding that transitioning is part of life.

After the first 3 hours of shadowing, I realized these 3 hours are going to be most well spent time every week. Equipped well with the training about how terminally ill patients’ transition, what type of changes happen in their skin color, conversations, in their breathing, in their eating habits, in their back and forth between readiness to transition Vs wanting help from a live person to help them go to an unknown place. Even though it is considered a selfless service, I feel deep inside my mind, I have a few selfish motivations. One is to make me feel good by serving another soul to compensate for not being their next to my mother during her transition and second to make my own transition as easy as possible knowing death is part of living.
Click to expand...

Dear Viswanathan sir, my hearty congratulations for your entering a new field of selfless service.I am certain you are to make many sick people comfortacl

Viswamitra said: ↑

I called up the The Hospice of Florida Suncoast to inquire about their latest training program to volunteer as Patient & Family Care volunteer 3 months back and they told me 4 hours of general training to learn about the organization, 12 hours of training for Patient and Family Care and 4 hours of training for “Transition”. My mind told me why would someone needs to spend 20 hours to learn how to volunteer? That training is invaluable. They taught us how to wear and remove the glove and gown and how to wash our hands before and after getting into contact with a patient. I didn’t even know that World Health Organization has set standards for clean environment for patient care and this organization is in compliant with their standards. They did a background screening, vaccinated me for Tuberculosis and eventually when they issued a badge for me, I felt as though I finished my doctorate.

I didn’t do anything with that training for good 3 months until I heard the spiritual speaker last week. He indicated that if I need to improve my self-respect, I need to constantly work on opportunities to help those in need. The first thing that came to my mind was about my Patient Care training. The next day, I met with the Volunteer Coordinator and sought a meeting with her. She accepted my request and walked me through the care center. At the end of the meeting, she asked me to execute a few documents and asked when I could start volunteering. When I said immediately, she requested me to shadow two interesting volunteers last Friday and next Friday from 5 p.m. to 8 p.m. and then work every Saturday from 5 p.m. to 8 p.m.

Last Friday, I reported promptly at 5 p.m. and I was given a warm welcome by these two volunteers Mr. B and Mrs. M. One was 78 years old and the other was 77 years old and both have been volunteering every week for the past 10 years since the start of the care center in that location. When inquired further, I learned Mr. B prefers to volunteer as much as possible and like to give company for terminally ill patients to make a big difference in their transition. Mrs. M walked me through the daily routine for those 3 hours volunteering, what kind of emergencies could come in, showed me the button to press if there is threat to the care center or people inside the care center, how the order for breakfast, lunch and dinner are taken the previous day for the kitchen to prepare the next day, where to pin the orders in the kitchen, How to refill coffee cups, cookies, where the blankets are located if a family member prefers to stay overnight with their loved ones, how wheel chairs and other supplies are covered in plastic wrappers to indicate that they are sanitized and ready to use, where to take the patients if they like to feel fresh air, what I need to do if a patient wants to smoke, the location of the nurse station, if requested what I need to do to sit with a transitioning patient, if there are not loved ones near them, etc.

When I walked around the care center, I noticed some rooms are with very little light and soothing music indicating that those patients are transitioning. I was told most don’t like to eat and will be constantly in illusions seeing live and dead people alternatively and it is hard for them to differentiate which one is real and which one is illusion. They rarely talk and even if they do, it is difficult to understand what they are communicating unless we listen carefully. The co-volunteers training me emphasized how important it is to show love and compassion and always be smiling. Most importantly, they told me to keep my spirit very high understanding that transitioning is part of life.

After the first 3 hours of shadowing, I realized these 3 hours are going to be most well spent time every week. Equipped well with the training about how terminally ill patients’ transition, what type of changes happen in their skin color, conversations, in their breathing, in their eating habits, in their back and forth between readiness to transition Vs wanting help from a live person to help them go to an unknown place. Even though it is considered a selfless service, I feel deep inside my mind, I have a few selfish motivations. One is to make me feel good by serving another soul to compensate for not being their next to my mother during her transition and second to make my own transition as easy as possible knowing death is part of living.
Click to expand...

dear Viswa sir, I am happy that you have been motivated to take up this selfless service. I am sure your time spent with them will be beneficial not only to them but to yourself too in several ways. hope you are going to share your experiences with us. Wishing you best of service

gopalan1937, Dec 3, 2018

gopalan1937, Dec 3, 2018

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Dec 3, 2018 #12

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Good write up. One's own life, legacy, and the bucket-list can all come to the fore in our thoughts through such an experience. After all, beyond a certain age, we tend to read entries on the obituary columns with the subconscious arithmetic of "my age ± x".

The thread reminded me to go back and reread Atul Gawande's article "Letting Go -- what should medicine do when it can't save your life?"

an excerpt:

For all but our most recent history, dying was typically a brief process. Whether the cause was childhood infection, difficult childbirth, heart attack, or pneumonia, the interval between recognizing that you had a life-threatening ailment and death was often just a matter of days or weeks.

Consider how our Presidents died before the modern era. George Washington developed a throat infection at home on December 13, 1799, that killed him by the next evening. John Quincy Adams, Millard Fillmore, and Andrew Johnson all succumbed to strokes, and died within two days. Rutherford Hayes had a heart attack and died three days later. Some deadly illnesses took a longer course: James Monroe and Andrew Jackson died from the months-long consumptive process of what appears to have been tuberculosis; Ulysses Grant’s oral cancer took a year to kill him; and James Madison was bedridden for two years before dying of “old age.” But, as the end-of-life researcher Joanne Lynn has observed, people usually experienced life-threatening illness the way they experienced bad weather—as something that struck with little warning—and you either got through it or you didn’t.

Dying used to be accompanied by a prescribed set of customs. Guides to ars moriendi, the art of dying, were extraordinarily popular; a 1415 medieval Latin text was reprinted in more than a hundred editions across Europe. Reaffirming one’s faith, repenting one’s sins, and letting go of one’s worldly possessions and desires were crucial, and the guides provided families with prayers and questions for the dying in order to put them in the right frame of mind during their final hours. Last words came to hold a particular place of reverence.

These days, swift catastrophic illness is the exception; for most people, death comes only after long medical struggle with an incurable condition—advanced cancer, progressive organ failure (usually the heart, kidney, or liver), or the multiple debilities of very old age. In all such cases, death is certain, but the timing isn’t. So everyone struggles with this uncertainty—with how, and when, to accept that the battle is lost. As for last words, they hardly seem to exist anymore. Technology sustains our organs until we are well past the point of awareness and coherence. Besides, how do you attend to the thoughts and concerns of the dying when medicine has made it almost impossible to be sure who the dying even are? Is someone with terminal cancer, dementia, incurable congestive heart failure dying, exactly?

AG (a regular contributor in the Annals of Medicine topic) goes into the various contemporary issues on the final stage of life, medical ethics, costs of high technology life extension techniques... etc...

Last edited: Dec 3, 2018

Amulet, Dec 3, 2018

Amulet, Dec 3, 2018

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gopalan1937 said: ↑

Dear Viswanathan sir, my hearty congratulations for your entering a new field of selfless service.I am certain you are to make many sick people comfortacl

dear Viswa sir, I am happy that you have been motivated to take up this selfless service. I am sure your time spent with them will be beneficial not only to them but to yourself too in several ways. hope you are going to share your experiences with us. Wishing you best of service
Click to expand...

Thank you Gopalan Sir for your response. I am looking forward to providing fulfilling experience. I am not a medical professional to treat them but I can provide precious love they need during transition. I am doing this service for my own good and I will certainly share my experiences here in IL.

Viswa

Viswamitra, Dec 3, 2018

Viswamitra, Dec 3, 2018

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Amulet said: ↑

Good write up. One's own life, legacy, and the bucket-list can all come to the fore in our thoughts through such an experience. After all, beyond a certain age, we tend to read entries on the obituary columns with the subconscious arithmetic of "my age ± x".

The thread reminded me to go back and reread Atul Gawande's article "Letting Go -- what should medicine do when it can't save your life?"

an excerpt:

For all but our most recent history, dying was typically a brief process. Whether the cause was childhood infection, difficult childbirth, heart attack, or pneumonia, the interval between recognizing that you had a life-threatening ailment and death was often just a matter of days or weeks.

Consider how our Presidents died before the modern era. George Washington developed a throat infection at home on December 13, 1799, that killed him by the next evening. John Quincy Adams, Millard Fillmore, and Andrew Johnson all succumbed to strokes, and died within two days. Rutherford Hayes had a heart attack and died three days later. Some deadly illnesses took a longer course: James Monroe and Andrew Jackson died from the months-long consumptive process of what appears to have been tuberculosis; Ulysses Grant’s oral cancer took a year to kill him; and James Madison was bedridden for two years before dying of “old age.” But, as the end-of-life researcher Joanne Lynn has observed, people usually experienced life-threatening illness the way they experienced bad weather—as something that struck with little warning—and you either got through it or you didn’t.

Dying used to be accompanied by a prescribed set of customs. Guides to ars moriendi, the art of dying, were extraordinarily popular; a 1415 medieval Latin text was reprinted in more than a hundred editions across Europe. Reaffirming one’s faith, repenting one’s sins, and letting go of one’s worldly possessions and desires were crucial, and the guides provided families with prayers and questions for the dying in order to put them in the right frame of mind during their final hours. Last words came to hold a particular place of reverence.

These days, swift catastrophic illness is the exception; for most people, death comes only after long medical struggle with an incurable condition—advanced cancer, progressive organ failure (usually the heart, kidney, or liver), or the multiple debilities of very old age. In all such cases, death is certain, but the timing isn’t. So everyone struggles with this uncertainty—with how, and when, to accept that the battle is lost. As for last words, they hardly seem to exist anymore. Technology sustains our organs until we are well past the point of awareness and coherence. Besides, how do you attend to the thoughts and concerns of the dying when medicine has made it almost impossible to be sure who the dying even are? Is someone with terminal cancer, dementia, incurable congestive heart failure dying, exactly?

AG (a regular contributor in the Annals of Medicine topic) goes into the various contemporary issues on the final stage of life, medical ethics, costs of high technology life extension techniques... etc...
Click to expand...

Invaluable insight into how the world has changed for those who are transitioning. The Hospice was created with an intent to leave the choice to the patient as opposed to the loved ones who always try to prolong the life. Many patients who are affected by terminal illness prefer to begin their transition at their own pace, at their convenience and as they wish nowadays. There is a famous case in Florida that was decided by Florida Supreme Court where a patient was kept under life support for 9 years. The husband said, "wife didn't want to stay in that state and wanted to end her life peacefully" whereas the parents said, "She always wanted to stay a happy life with the family". Finally the Supreme Court made a decision to pull the plug as per the wish of the patient.

We can never predict what runs in the mind of those who transition. Some prefer to be in the company of the loved ones while others like to withdraw from their attachments. The Hospice becomes their preferred location where whatever they need are all available as they wish 24/7. If they choose no medical intervention, the Hospice create a document of their wish and leave them to peacefully transition by only managing their pain and provide Reiki or other healing methods for pain management, if the patients prefer not to take narcotics or other pain management medicines. This is the unique place for those who prefer to transition as per their own plan even though they couldn't predict their departure. Even if they need legal support to transfer their assets to the loved ones, the Hospice facilitates that as well. Volunteering here is an eye opener to learn dying is part of the process of living. Many registered nurses, social workers and revs have documented their experiences which provide invaluable insight into how the transitioning people prepare for their departure and what kind of changes happen to them physically, emotionally and spiritually.

Viswa

Viswamitra, Dec 3, 2018

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GeetaKashyap said: ↑

@Viswamitra Sir,

Thanks for sharing your experience and all the best to you in your new chosen activity. Last week my relative was here and we were discussing this process at length. She is working as a volunteer for quite some time. (Apart from the actual work, I was also curious to know about the Spiritual experiences if she has had.This was of special interest to me as I have read about them a lot.)In India, we still don't have such concepts. If we had, perhaps I too would have volunteered. Kindly share your insights with us as and when possible.
Click to expand...

@GeetaKashyap,

Thank you for responding to this thread. It is interesting you had mentioned about spiritual experiences and that is exactly what I am looking for in providing this service. To add to it, it is a concerted opinion of many in the Hospice that the patients choose more psychological, emotional and spiritual support than medical support. Lot of them like to avoid painful treatments to prolong their life if they are diagnosed with terminal illness. They prefer pain to be managed medically but need other support to transition smoothly when they withdraw and prepare themselves to depart. Some choose to pray non-stop and even stop eating or drinking to expedite the departure. It is hard to pinpoint what runs in their minds when they are transitioning and we can only facilitate their transition based on past documented experiences. Dying experience is very unique and only handful in this world have experienced near death and could narrate them well.

Viswa

Viswamitra, Dec 3, 2018

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Viswamitra said: ↑

...There is a famous case in Florida that was decided by Florida Supreme Court where a patient was kept under life support for 9 years. The husband said, "wife didn't want to stay in that state and wanted to end her life peacefully" whereas the parents said, "She always wanted to stay a happy life with the family". Finally the Supreme Court made a decision to pull the plug as per the wish of the patient.....
Click to expand...

Yes... I remember the Terri Schiavo case, and how Jeb Bush (then FL governor) saw the political advantages in keeping her alive.

Amulet, Dec 3, 2018

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girvani Platinum IL'ite

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Dearest Viswa uncle,

You are simply amazing to think about doing this selfless service to the needy and then implemented. My pranam to you uncle. I find so difficult to detach even from my friend's emotional problems and so on. Even though my heart wanted to find an opportunity to do like that I know I will be stressed. But, as Srama pointed out, I will try my best possible way to help the community as much as you can.

Uncle, waiting to hear from you your experience in this journey.

Love,
Vani

girvani, Dec 3, 2018

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My Dearest Vani,

The credit should go to our Guru for guiding us how "Manava Seva is Madhava Seva". Let the Lord of the Universe bless you and your family with a lot of happiness, prosperity and wealth of knowledge.

I know it is hard to detach especially when compassionate emotions are extremely high. There is nothing wrong with it. That is inherent nature in some souls like you and Sabitha. In your case, perhaps, the war in Sri Lanka and life in refugee camp might have created some raw emotions etched in your memories.

When my son volunteered in the Hospice, they named him "Emotionless Young Man' as he showed no emotions while video-taping the patients' messages to their families and friends. Some words of the patients made the interviewers cry but never the cameraman (my son). Mostly the interviewers were young woman and they thought all men are stubborn with no emotions. Later when they engaged other boys and they found out they also cried. Finally, out of curiosity they asked my son what is the reason for him not expressing any emotion and he replied, "These patients are going to live only for 15-30 days and if I don't record them now, I am not sure whether they would get another opportunity to do so. It is more important to get their messages out to their friends and families than showing emotions". He was only 16 at that time and I was very proud of him for his understanding of life. He recorded over 200 such patients over 400 hours.

Two examples he shared with me. One was a recording of a 32 year old father (suffering from terminal illness and had less than 30 days to live) who gave messages for his 2 year old what he should be doing at each year of his life after he dies. The other was an elderly man who got overwhelmed by the emotions of two young man and woman recording him for a message. He was a famous singer and there wasn't a day passed by without the Paparazzis approaching him and he ended up lying in his death bed with no one with him for many years. His message to the world was, "name, fame, body, mind and wealth are all perishable at some point in life and only the effect of good actions remain".

Last edited: Dec 3, 2018

Viswamitra, Dec 3, 2018

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Amulet said: ↑

Yes... I remember the Terri Schiavo case, and how Jeb Bush (then FL governor) saw the political advantages in keeping her alive.
Click to expand...

Everyone remembers Florida as a purple state only during election but in many such life situations they are equally divided as well between pro life and pro choice. Terri's case was discussed for a long time among people even after the court's decision to terminate the life support. The only thing that makes me very happy is the liberal donations coming from Republic and Democratic leaning rich people in Florida to The Hospice of Florida Suncoast and their great support to the veterans in the Hospice knowing VA is mismanaged a lot.

Viswa

Viswamitra, Dec 3, 2018

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Dearest Viswa uncle,

Thank you for your blessings.

Viswamitra said: ↑

When my son volunteered in the Hospice, they named him "Emotionless Young Man' as he showed no emotions while video-taping the patients' messages to their families and friends. Some words of the patients made the interviewers cry but never the cameraman (my son). Mostly the interviewers were young woman and they thought all men are stubborn with no emotions. Later when they engaged other boys and they found out they also cried. Finally, out of curiosity they asked my son what is the reason for him not expressing any emotion and he replied, "These patients are going to live only for 15-30 days and if I don't record them now, I am not sure whether they would get another opportunity to do so. It is more important to get their messages out to their friends and families than showing emotions". He was only 16 at that time and I was very proud of him for his understanding of life. He recorded over 200 such patients over 400 hours.
Click to expand...

It shows your son’s determination and unwavering focus. I so admire that. Thank you so much for sharing this uncle.

Love
Vani

girvani, Dec 4, 2018

girvani, Dec 4, 2018

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