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'tis the season for gift giving- how to politely say no

Discussion in 'General Discussions' started by nuss, Dec 1, 2013.

  1. nuss

    nuss Platinum IL'ite

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    Hope y'all had a wonderful Thanksgiving with family and friends! Now comes the time for Christmas shopping. I love festivals and sure presents make the day even special. With several birthdays and Christmas, December is pretty busy month for us. Problem is-I'm a minimalist. I believe in taking two things out for every new thing brought in the house, I hate clutter. My husband's family on the other hand believe in 'more the merrier' and most of yhe time a lot of cheap stuff and one big item is there for everyone. My husband and I usually buy something simple that we know we'd use and save money for travel or for something fun . We don't buy junk for our families either, unless it's electronic or dvds, ee shop at fair trade, local art galleries or Novica. Same goes for kids, we try to buy toys made by local artists unless their parents have a suggested list, my SIL prefers giftcards and we usually do that for her with some little consumable item-chocolate, coffee, preserves etc.
    My birthday is in mid Dec and then Christmas, every year even after polietly telling that I'd prefer books from my wishlist and may be some consumables, I end up with all sort of little trinkets,that I've no use for. I so much want yo take those to goodwill but can't because I know they probably spent lot of time to pick something for me and I don't want to be ungrateful but really all the stuff goes in a box that I don't even open till next year (to dump more stuff in it). My husband foes the same as well. I've tried to tell that just one gift is enough but there are always 4-5 from each family.
    How do you deal with this gift giving stress? Is it rude yo say 'no thank you'. I've asked to donate to 'nothing but nets' on our behalf-something that both my husband and I believe in but noone wants to do that (it is not same, we want to give you gifts etc) . My first world problem :)

  2. Mahajanpragati

    Mahajanpragati Platinum IL'ite

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    well,you are lucky that people care enough to gift you & it may be useless for you but they are spending money........many of us(me )never got any gift from Inlaws side but my parents do gift us & like us to buy whatever we want (which embarrasses me)it may be a big trend in west but in India we never ask for what we want & hence no trend of gift list (practical but I find it rude)

    though we don't celebrate Christmas we do celebrate Diwali & end up getting lots of unwanted gifts from friends & relative.as my hubby's job takes us to different cities,countries so I don't accumulate things.

    for unwanted gifts here is what I do
    1.donate it to mandir ,gurudwars (glassware,bedsheets,napkins)
    2.prizes in raffle shows/tambolas (vases,plastic flowers,toys)
    3.give to maid,driver,gardener (eatables like biscuits,sweets )
    4.sell online (never tried but read somewhere that many do it)
    5.keep it & re- gift it to someone who is not remotely connected to the person who gifted me.
    so ,if you try you will find ways to get rid of all the unwanted things you have......
    sindmani likes this.

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