Tips to solve relationship problems

Hai friends,
I would like to share the below tips given by a psychiatrist. It have found this very helpful in my life. But it takes time, patience and practice.:thumbsup


There is virtually no relationship in the world which doesn’t suffer from the woes of occasional arguments and conflicts.

The key to being happy in a relationship does not lie in trying to avoid the arguments and bottling up the emotions. It lies in expressing the emotions felt and if there are heated arguments over certain issues, make sure you sit down and resolve these issues calmly, after the storm is over.

When you are intent upon making up after an argument, then there is nothing that can stop you. Many couples do it by simple letting the thing pass; many do it with a simple kiss and getting absorbed in the throes of passion while a majority of them prefer to talk it out completely to prevent any further trouble over the same reasons.
Here are a few tips that will help you tread safely on the troubled waters and patch up safely and effectively with your partner after an argument:

Get to the core of the issue
More often than not, when you try to analyse the reason behind the fight, you are hit with the sudden realization that you are actually fighting for no reason at all; or there are other forces that are driving you to act this way. These forces could be one of the following:
Low self-confidence: More often than not, you do think yourself deserving of the love being showered on you and to enforce your need for assurances, you end up creating a big whole fuss about absolutely nothing.
Estrangement:Often the fear of losing your partner may force you to act irrationally.
You may also feel as if not being cared for, or perhaps used by your partner for achieving some selfish ends.

Say it succinctly and precisely
Do not spin tales or word webs. Just express your truest feelings in the most precise way. An honest confession can win over the most ruthless heart.

Assume Responsibility
If you think you have been at fault, even if only for the 10% part of the argument, own your mistake, assume responsibility for the wrongs that you have done. Don’t hold your partner or yourself as to being gravely at fault and go on mentioning it at length; just apologize like a gentleman or a lady. You will be surprised to discover how this small gesture opens up new avenues for dialogue and goes a long way in initiating the peace making process.

It is more than about being right
Want an argument to end quickly? Then get over the need of being right…relinquishing your standpoint for the greater cause of ensuring harmony in your relationship is not too heavy a price to pay, especially if it’s a deadlock situation.

Give time, be patient
Different people take different amount of time in adjusting to a view point or coming to terms with the new scheme of things. Let your partner take his or her own time; do not try to control their learning process. Trying to do so is only futile and would lead to higher degree of frustration. Even when you are expecting an apology and it doesn’t seem to be coming, do not stress upon it like it is the end of the world. Expecting an apology means you are ready to forgive, so do it anyway, even if the person asks for it or not.

Appreciation & Recognition
There are more reasons to keep you together in the relationship than you are probably aware of. A good way to get over the issue of rightness in an argument is to think of all the good things about your partner and appreciating them for that.

A new beginning, new promises
Learn from these arguments and reach a consensus over some issues which you will not repeat in future, such as calling each other names or resorting to violence.

:cheers and :2thumbsup: