Tips on Family Relationships

At the brink of a journey....

At the brink of a journey....

Once upon a time there was a child ready to be born.

One day he asked God: "They tell me you are sending me to earth tomorrow, how am I going to live there as I am so small and helpless?"

God replied, "Among the many angels, I chose one for you. She will be waiting for you and will take care of you."

"But tell me, here in Heaven, I don't do anything else but sing and smile - that's enough to make me happy."

"Your angel will sing for you and will also smile for you every day. And you will feel your angel's love and be happy."

"And how am I going to be able to understand when people talk to me, if I don't know the language that men talk?"

"Your angel will tell you the most beautiful and sweet words you will ever hear, and with much patience and care, your angel will teach you how to speak."

"And what am I going to do when I want to talk to you?"

"Your angel will place your hands together and will teach you how to pray."

"I've heard that on earth there are bad men. Who will protect me?"

"Your angel will defend you even if it means risking its life."

"But I will always be sad because I will not see you anymore."

"Your angel will always talk to you about me and will teach you the way to come back to me, even though I will always be next to you."

At that moment there was much peace in Heaven, but voices from earth could already be heard.

And the child in a hurry asked softly: "Oh God, if I am about to leave now, please tell me my angel's name?"

"Your angel's name is of no importance, you will call your angel: 'Mommy'."

I miss my mom alot. ( I love you whereever you are)

 

Intercaste marriages!!

<table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="2" height="8" width="90%"><tbody><tr><td>Intercaste marriages
</td> </tr> <tr> <td height="2">
</td> </tr> </tbody></table> [font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]An intercaste marriage is a myriad of sweet and sour adjustments. Unlike same caste weddings, the differences begin to show up even before the wedding ceremony takes place.

An intercaste marriage raises more than just quizzical eyebrows. Weddings being all about tradition, customs and rituals, the differences are many. By and large these are marriages of choice or what we generally call love marriages where the girl and the boy make the initial decision to come together in a martial alliance. There may be resistance from the parents, making an intercaste alliance into a more complicated "arrangement" than even the arranged ones. But then, customs or traditions are seldom the reasons which can break up relationships. The differences can be easy to handle if you mark out some basic rules for yourself. Especially the bride who may find it unnerving to be amongst people who speak a different language, dress differently, have distinctly different eating habits and follow a different set of customs than what she has been used to in her growing years. Naturally it requires a certain mental steeling of sorts.

VISIT YOUR WOULD-BE'S FAMILY OFTEN BEFORE MARRIAGE

One of the best ways to save yourself from a culture shock is to familiarise yourself with your husband's family. If you know, for instance, that your mom-in-law follows and believes in certain religious or traditional customs, you will find it easier to handle the stark difference when you are in her house. During your visits, take pains and ask questions on how they celebrate different festivals or observe fasts etc. You will find, that there are similar reasons and beliefs at the core of varying customs. It is just the exterior difference. Often, different castes worship different deities, but if you care to understand the philosophy behind the worship, you will soon feel comfortable. It won't be very different from what your mother told you.

HUSBAND-TONGUE

It is quite intimidating to wake up one fine morning after the most significant day in your life to find yourself amongst groups of relatives and guests speaking a tongue that you don't understand. Of course, if your in-laws are sensitive, they won't expect you to pick up a pen and notebook and start tutoring yourself on a new language. If you know their language and can speak snatches of it, great, but if you don't, its still okay. Just be polite and request everyone to speak in a common language when you are all together. Tell your husband how awkward you feel when you don't understand a word of anything that is spoken in the house. Don't let the language become a barrier. It is often not that way, because most Indian languages can be followed to some extent. You will also learn by hearing it being spoken. Meanwhile you take the initiate to use a common language in the family. Don't get tongue-tied.

THE WAY YOU DRESS

It would make a huge difference to your habits if you got married into a caste or a religion that has very conservative dress habits, but otherwise, in India, clothes are the last thing to be worried about. Yes, you may have to adjust a little bit on special days or on festival or weddings, but by and large you can stick to what you wear, unless you wear jeans and shirts everyday. Even that would be fine given the outlook of a particular family, but like everything else, if they please you and are okay with what you wear, then go out of your way, once in a while, to please them. Wear a pretty sari or their traditional dress on a special festival and they will be assured that you are not stubborn. In fact, you may find it very interesting to wear jewellery and clothes that are different from your own customs. Believe in change.

PALATE PEEVES

Okay, so you want your dahi parantha every morning at breakfast, whereas your in-laws make only idlis and dosas!! Yeah, surprisingly food habits are reported to be a real trying test in an intercaste marriage. Years of habit and liking rarely change. Idli-dosas may be savoury to your palate for a while, but you will soon start yearning for "your kind of food". Also, some girls say that the different aroma in an unfamiliar kitchen can sometimes put them off. The pickles are different, so are the homemade namkeens. Besides everything smells so differently! New aromas can be strangely alienating, making you homesick for your mom's kitchen. But hang on. Can't you cook your type of meal off and on? Surely you could, unless your in-laws are deliberately hostile. You could introduce some of your favourite recipes now and then. Don't deprive yourself of the food you love. Find a way around it.

LAUGH TOGETHER, LIVE TOGETHER

Humour has no language, no olfactory contradiction. You can laugh in a sari or in a pair of tightfitting trousers. You can laugh if you are married to a Tamilian or if you have decided to wed a Kashmiri Pandit. Loving and living together has a great deal to do with laughing together. Cultivate a sense of humour in life. It should be the most important homework you do before getting married into a family or caste which differs drastically from your own. You will discover a oneness, a sense of belonging when you find that human traits are the same, despite the difference in pickles, papads or the idol of the deity worshipped.
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Heartfelt!!!

Hi Sridhar,

I didn't do it intentionly....But it also touched my heart so thought of sharing with IL...Whom we almost take for granted is non other than an angel sent to us by God.Really mom's place cant be taken by anyone else..( I lost my mom last year..she was only 44)

 

For My Baby

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THIS WAS SENDED TO ME BY MY FRIEND WHO LOST HER FULLY MATURED BABY IN HER WOMB


FOR MY BABY

I THOUGHT OF YOU AND CLOSED MY EYES; AND PRAYED TO GOD TODAY I ASKED WHAT MAKES A MOTHER AND I KNOW I HEARD HIM SAY....

"A MOTHER HAS A BABY, THIS WE KNOW IS TRUE."

BUT GOD, CAN YOU BE A MOTHER, WHEN YOUR BABY'S NOT WITH YOU?

"YES, YOU CAN" HE REPLIED WITH CONFIDENCE IN HIS VOICE. "I GIVE MANY WOMEN BABIES, WHEN THEY LEAVE IS NOT THEIR CHOICE. SOME I SEND FOR A LIFETIME; AND OTHERS FOR A DAY AND SOME I SEND TO FEEL YOUR WOMB; BUT THERE'S NO NEED TO STAY."

I JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND THIS, GOD, I WANT MY BABY HERE.

HE TOOK A BREATH AND CLEARED HIS THROAT; AND THEN, I SAW A TEAR. "I WISH I COULD SHOW YOU, WHAT YOUR CHILD IS DOING TODAY. IF YOU COULD SEE YOUR CHILD SMILE WITH OTHER CHILDREN AND SAY:

WE GO TO EARTH TO LEARN OUR LESSON'S OF LOVE AND LIFE AND FEAR, MY MOMMY LOVED ME OH SO MUCH, I GOT TO COME STRAIGHT HERE... I FEEL SO LUCKY TO HAVE A MOM, WHO HAD SO MUCH LOVE FOR ME
I LEARNED MY LESSON VERY QUICKLY, MY MOMMY SET ME FREE.

I MISS MY MOMMY OH SO MUCH; BUT I VISIT HER EACH DAY. WHEN SHE GOES TO SLEEP, ON HER PILLOW IS WHERE I LAY I STROKE HER HAIR AND KISS HER CHEEK, AND WHISPER IN HER EAR. MOMMY, DON'T BE SAD TODAY, I'M YOUR BABY AND I'M HERE.

"SO, YOU SEE, MY DEAR SWEET ONE, YOUR CHILDREN ARE OKAY YOUR BABIES ARE HERE IN MY HOME; AND THIS IS WHERE THEY'LL STAY. THEY'LL WAIT FOR YOU WITH ME, UNTIL YOUR LESSON IS THROUGH. AND ON THE DAY THAT YOU COME HOME; THEY'LL BE AT THE GATES FOR YOU.

SO, NOW YOU SEE WHAT MAKES A MOTHER, IT'S THE FEELING IN YOUR HEART IT'S THE LOVE YOU HAD SO MUCH OF; RIGHT FROM THE VERY START. THOUGH SOME ON EARTH MAY NOT REALIZE ,YOU ARE A MOTHER THEY'LL BE UP WITH ME ONE DAY; AND THEY'LL KNOW YOU'RE THE BEST ONE EVER."[/font]

 

Heartfelt....

Hi Sridhar,

After reading this poem I too felt like what u had said ...As my mother got everything too early as double promotion.She dint go to KG directly in 1st STD, got married too early , got kids too early, even she was MIL in age of 36 and Grandma 37...and even God called her early.

Sometimes few things are over our imaginations.I believe in Karma ,I believe in life of balance with good and bad deeds..Untill and unless we dont fill other balance with the good deeds compared to bad deeds we cant leave this life...
But after believing in this belief what can be said to the unborn baby's karma whose balance is not yet formed....????

Regards,
Sonu

 

Sorry!!!

Hi Prathi and Sridhar,

I am so sorry to make you cry!!!! Please read the latest humour updated today...